Wikipedia:Peer review/Kevin Pietersen/archive1

Kevin Pietersen

 * General reviews please, I think this article is nearly ready for a FA push. Thanks in advance, any comments greatfully welcome. –MDCollins (talk) 10:06, 28 May 2007 (UTC)

User:SpecialWindler
Only my third review, but I may make some suggestions
 * 1) May I suggest merging (with other sections) stubby sections including
 * 2) 2005–6 tour of the subcontinent
 * 3) Awards for performances in 2005
 * 4) In the infobox, for sections "5 wickets in a innings" and "10 in a match", it would be better to have "0" rather thatn a dash (unless the dash indicates information that is unknown)
 * 5) Same with stumpings
 * 6) There are often parts of the article that have - "27*" or "108*", non-cricketors would not know what this is, it would be better to say "not out".
 * 7) It's faily well sourced but some sentences (in my opinion) need to be sourced
 * 8) "Pietersen was selected for the full England one-day side to tour Zimbabwe and South Africa in 2004–05."
 * 9) "Pietersen was added to the one-day squad to face South Africa. He was subjected to a barrage of abuse from the South African crowd, who regarded him somewhat like a traitor."
 * 10) "Born of an English mother and a South African father, Pietersen attended Maritzburg College in Pietermaritzburg."
 * 11) The achievements section looks messy.
 * 12) In the "Achievements" section, you may intergrate the records and awards into a written section rather than dot points.
 * 13) Is it really necassary to have every man of the match performance?

SpecialWindler 06:15, 29 May 2007 (UTC)
 * (converted bullets to numbers for reference/discussion by –MDCollins (talk) 12:51, 29 May 2007 (UTC))

Comments/Reply re SpecialWindler:
 * 1. Done - Addressed, there is one small section that probably needs expansion rather than merging - I've placed a template there for reference.
 * 2., 3. and 6. Pause for thought - Just following a comparative Featured Article (Paul Collingwood) and the standard infobox developed by WP Cricket - perhaps these comments should be addressed there, if you don't mind I'll leave it as it is for a moment until we get further comment.
 * 4. Done - I've altered this in the prose, in tables * should suffice.
 * 5. Done - All referenced.

Thanks for the review. –MDCollins (talk) 13:21, 29 May 2007 (UTC)
 * I brought these issues up with the WP:CRICKET team, and we've come up with the idea that if, for example, a regular bowler hasn't taken 10wkts, a 0 shall be used, and if it is unlikely that a part-time bowler will do so, – will suffice. Same goes for stumpings (KP isn't a wicketkeeper so 0 seems a bit unfair).
 * As for the achivements, nobody seemed to comment, Paul Collingwood became FA with something similar, and all the records are in the prose. If you've any further comments, the article is now a Featured article candidate, and another review would be most welcome.

–MDCollins (talk) 22:45, 3 June 2007 (UTC)

Automated Peer review
The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question. You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, –MDCollins (talk) 00:13, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
 * Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.[?]
 * See if possible if there is a free use image that can go on the top right corner of this article.[?] There's one in the infobox–MDCollins (talk) 00:28, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
 * If this article is about a person, please add  along with the required parameters to the article - see Persondata for more information.[?]  Done–MDCollins (talk) 00:28, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
 * Per Manual of Style (headings), headings generally do not start with articles ('the', 'a(n)'). For example, if there was a section called  ==The Biography== , it should be changed to  ==Biography== .[?] Removed–MDCollins (talk) 00:28, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
 * Per Manual of Style (headings), avoid using special characters (ex: &+{}[]) in headings. Done–MDCollins (talk) 00:28, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
 * Avoid using contractions like (outside of quotations): wasn't, didn't, didn't, hasn't. Removed–MDCollins (talk) 00:28, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
 * Please provide citations for all of the s.[?]
 * Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]