Wikipedia:Peer review/Key (basketball)/archive2

Key (basketball)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because… Thanks, – HTD  ( ITN: Where no updates but is stickied happens. ) 19:39, 7 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Previous peer review
 * I'd want this to be an FA, and PR is the first step in flushing out the bad parts.
 * If possible other additions or clarifications is appreciated. Needed are comments from people if they understand this if they don't know anything about basketball.
 * Another thing is what would be the appropriate WP:MOS guidelines to make this FAC-ready.
 * Does anyone know of an FA-level similar article I can pattern this with?

Finetooth comments: This has nice illustrations of an important basketball term. However, the article needs copyediting; you might be able to find a copyeditor through WP:GOCE. Here are a few other suggestions:

Lead
 * "Free throw" should not be double-bolded. WP:MOSBOLD has details.
 * FIBA should be spelled out (Fédération Internationale de Basket-ball) as well as abbreviated on first use.
 * "Usually painted (some courts leave it blanked, with the adjoining area, "the perimeter," which is painted)... " - The material in parentheses is ungrammatical. Suggestion: "Usually painted (although blank on some courts with painted perimeters)... ".
 * "starting with FIBA's amendments on their rules" - Maybe "starting with FIBA's amendments to its rules"?
 * "The key, in all games, starting with FIBA's amendments on their rules in 2006 (to be first implemented after the 2010 FIBA World Championship), is rectangular; prior to 2006, the key in FIBA-sanctioned tournaments (mostly basketball played outside the United States, and almost all international tournaments including the World Championships and the Olympics) is trapezoidal in shape." - Too complex. It would be better to break this into at least two sentences without the parenthetical remarks.
 * "Both NBA and FIBA keys are 16 feet wide... " - Measurements are usually given in metric as well as imperial units; i.e., 16 ft.
 * "Another rule enforced is the lane violation where... " - A lane violation isn't a "where". Perhaps "A lane-violation rule prohibits players from either team from entering the lane... "?

Dimensions
 * The first paragraph needs a source or sources. My rule of thumb is to source every paragraph as well as any unusual claims, statistics, or direct quotes. If one source covers a whole paragraph, the citation goes right after the end of the terminal period of the last sentence of the paragraph.


 * "The free throw circle is with a universally-recognized 6 feet (1.8 m) radius from the free throw line, with the half of the free throw circle farthest from the backboard traced in solid lines." - To define the circle, you need to say where its center is; the radius is not enough. The center of this circle appears to be the midpoint of the free-throw line. Suggestion: "The free-throw circle, centered at the midpoint of the free-throw line, has a universally recognized radius of 6 ft." Or maybe I am not understanding what the free-throw circle refers to.
 * I'm guessing here, but the center of the free-throw circle, which is the yes, the midpoint of the free throw line. is about ___ ft. from the center of the hoop. – HTD  ( ITN: Where no updates but is stickied happens. ) 19:50, 17 November 2010 (UTC)


 * "with the half of the free throw circle farthest from the backboard traced in solid lines" - This does not appear to be an accurate statement. Look at the free-throw circle in File:NokiaArena.jpg, for example. There are no solid lines inside the circle. Do you mean the perimeter of the circle?


 * "In the NBA, the half closer to the basket must also be traced in a broken line... " - I think you mean the perimeter of the half closer to the basket.

Layout
 * MOS:IMAGES suggest placing the images within the sections to which they relate. The key images stacked on the top right might look better if three photographs of actual basketball courts were combined in a triple image placed completely inside of the "Dimensions" section. This would be worth a try, I think.


 * To make File:Free throw.jpg fit inside a single section, you might merge the subsections (deleting the heads) to make one larger section under the single heading, "Rules".

Other
 * It's generally a good idea to write in full paragraphs rather than one-sentence orphans. Merging and expanding are two ways to turn orphans into full paragraphs. Extremely short sections and extremely short paragraphs make an article choppy. I particularly notice the shorties in the "Rules" section.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 19:15, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
 * The link checker above finds two dead urls in the citations.
 * Yes this is a problem. Those articles were published 2004 they must be gone by now. Most links have a working life of ~5 years. I'd take a look if there's one archived somewhere. – HTD  ( ITN: Where no updates but is stickied happens. ) 19:34, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
 * I'd do most of your suggestions, but I'd hold off on a couple:
 * I'd say adding the French name of FIBA won't probably help since a) it's French, and b) most people know "FIBA" and not Fédération Internationale de Basket-ball and may actually be confused instead of helping. How about "FIBA, the authority in world basketball" or something to that effect?
 * The first paragraph in the "Dimensions" section is the thesis statement, and the details are cited in the paragraphs after that.
 * How about putting the three images at the top right either at the top or at the bottom of the "Dimensions" section? They should be pretty big considering the differences between the three keys should be seen at first sight.
 * I'm considering splitting the one-paragraph/section "Lane violation" and "Restricted area arc" into 2 or more paragraphs each, then chop off File:Free throw.jpg's caption and incorporate it to the main text. – HTD  ( ITN: Where no updates but is stickied happens. ) 19:56, 17 November 2010 (UTC)