Wikipedia:Peer review/Khaldoon Al Mubarak/archive1

Khaldoon Al Mubarak
This peer review discussion has been closed.

I created this article back in September 2008 during the Manchester City takeover. I thought it was pretty good then, after a tidy up this week I am looking for comments to help me get this to GA. Thanks in advance for your comments, Rambo's Revenge (talk)  12:21, 18 October 2009 (UTC) Cirt (talk) 02:07, 19 October 2009 (UTC)
 * Comments
 * 1) Per WP:LEAD, lede should summarize entire article.
 * 2) Early life is wholly unsourced.
 * 3) Early life should be expanded.
 * 4) Career sect could use some paragraph breaks.


 * I have hopefully addressed these points where I can, however the early life is particularly difficult. There is no reliable information on parents, very early career, or him at university (in fact I haven't even found unreliable information about these things). And as you can see there isn't even a confirmed birth date. In fact in unreliable sources I have seen ages that contradict each other. With that in mind do you have any other suggestions of what I could do? Rambo's Revenge (talk)  16:47, 21 October 2009 (UTC)
 * I am not sure, perhaps you could leave notices at talk pages of relevant WikiProjects to get more input. Cheers, Cirt (talk) 12:27, 22 October 2009 (UTC)