Wikipedia:Peer review/Knowle West, Bristol/archive1

Knowle West, Bristol
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because having brought it to good article status, I would like to nominate for featured article status. Any comments which would help achieve this are most welcome.

Thanks, Jezhotwells (talk) 00:25, 18 August 2011 (UTC)

Right, i have had a little look at the article


 * Where is Inns Court and Finsbury Park? I assume they are part of Knowle West. Can you make this clear.
 * Addressed - you mean Filwood Park obviously. Jezhotwells (talk) 22:54, 21 August 2011 (UTC)


 * "In 1921, the area was still rural in nature, mostly agricultural and allotment land. Farms included Filwood Farm, Inns Court Farm and Hengrove House." I would reword these sentences.
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 22:54, 21 August 2011 (UTC)


 * When did the hospital at Ham Green close? Where is the nearest hospital for the area now?
 * Ummm, Ham Green was an isolation hospital about 7 miles away which closed in the 1990s. It was never a hospital serving Knowle West specifically. I am afraid I don't understand your point here. The article states: "There was an Isolation Hospital at Nover's Hill, built in 1892, and eventually superseded by a new hospital at Ham Green, near Pill, opened in 1927" I think that is quite clear. The area is served by Bristol Royal Infirmary, which serves all of central and south Bristol, I don't think that belongs in the history section. Jezhotwells (talk) 22:54, 21 August 2011 (UTC)


 * "New homes were built on the Radburn principles which are now considered to be a failure, due to the lack of "a safe and well-overlooked environment." The layout of housing built around short cul-de-sacs "has resulted in a physical environment that contributes to isolation rather than facilitating community interaction", according to a 2009 city council report on the area." What is a "physical environment that contributes to isolation" anyway? Can you also explain what sort of homes were built on Radburn principles and why they have failed? Does everyone within the area agree that the homes are seen as failures?
 * Well, "has resulted in a physical environment that contributes to isolation rather than facilitating community interaction" is a cited quote - do you think it needs further elaboration? I have added a further quote from the report. Jezhotwells (talk) 23:24, 21 August 2011 (UTC)


 * What is the name of and how far away is the nearest secondary school(s) to Knowle West?
 * I have added nearby schools - current government policies allow parents to "choose" schools, so Knowle Westers may go to any of these - or even further afield. Jezhotwells (talk) 23:24, 21 August 2011 (UTC)

Other than that, i would say the article is well written. Maybe another picture could be added to the article (such as one of the churches, for example) if possible. Kilnburn (talk) 19:37, 19 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Yes, I plan to take photographs this week. Jezhotwells (talk) 23:24, 21 August 2011 (UTC)

I was asked to take a look at this article a few days ago, but I've been away.
 * Should Holy Cross Inns Court Vicarage be included as Inns Court is mentioned several times?
 * It is in the History section. Jezhotwells (talk) 23:35, 21 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Is the Imperial Tobacco Factory the one next to Imperial Park which has now been converted to flats (and has its own lake)? If so should Imperial Park also get a mention?
 * I think that would be a matter for the Hartcliffe article. Jezhotwells (talk) 23:35, 21 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Were all the churches built along with the housing estates in 1920s+ or did some exist before?
 * I have found dates for two, but the Pentecostals and the Salvation Army do not have dates online. Jezhotwells (talk) 23:35, 21 August 2011 (UTC)

Happy to look again in more detail once I've caught up from holiday if that would be useful?&mdash; Rod talk 17:12, 20 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Indeed, it would, thanks. Jezhotwells (talk) 23:35, 21 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Couple things for now:
 * "good blackberry picking walks!" - the exclamation point is probably unnecessary.
 * Dealt with. Jezhotwells (talk) 00:56, 22 August 2011 (UTC)


 * "...as of 2008 was 11,787. 3,007 were under 15 years old..." - I try to avoid starting a sentence with a number.
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 00:56, 22 August 2011 (UTC)


 * "...Northern Slopes,;[49]" - double punctuation
 * Ummm, I am not seeing that. Jezhotwells (talk) 00:56, 22 August 2011 (UTC)


 * "...represented the Labour Party." - more accurate statement would be they are members of the Labour Party representing Bristolx.
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 00:56, 22 August 2011 (UTC)


 * "1.255 square miles (3.25 km2)" - 1.255 is probably too detailed, 1.26 should be fine.
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 00:56, 22 August 2011 (UTC)


 * "To the east is the district of Knowle..." - the subject of the 2nd+3rd sentences of the intro are other places. Use these first couple sentences to define Knowle West. Either re-cast the sentence as "Knowle West is east of xxx" or go for something more about the place itself like history or population. maclean (talk) 18:16, 20 August 2011 (UTC)
 * I think I have sorted this. Jezhotwells (talk) 00:56, 22 August 2011 (UTC)
 * ::Thanks for these comments - I shall address these points tomorrow. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:31, 20 August 2011 (UTC)
 * All of these points addressed, I think. Jezhotwells (talk) 00:56, 22 August 2011 (UTC)

A few more comments:

Lead
 * England is wikilinked in the first sentence. Generally thought well enough known not to need this.
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 20:33, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Council housing being developed in the 1930s is in both the first and second paragraphs.
 * Sorted. Jezhotwells (talk) 20:33, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Should "economically inactive" be clarified or wikilinked (perhaps to Unemployment)?
 * I have added a cite to the official definition, which does not include unemployment. Jezhotwells (talk) 20:33, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Was the factory owned by Imperial Tobacco or W.D. & H.O. Wills as used in the article on the River Malago article. I doubt if any reviewers would check that far but you never know.
 * It was built by Wills, which became part of Imperial Tobacco. Jezhotwells (talk) 20:33, 27 August 2011 (UTC)

History
 * I was confused by the 1066 reference in the 1086 survey.
 * Sorted. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * I would wikilink the counties "Devon, Dorset, Somerset and Wiltshire" (& Gloucestershire, Hampshire in the next sentence) for non UK readers.
 * Sorted. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Should "royal hunting estate" be explained, or perhaps wikilinked to Royal forest?
 * Sorted. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Listed building could be wikilinked for non-UK readers
 * Sorted. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Were there any mills on the Pigeonhouse stream?
 * I have found no mention of this. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Two quarries are mentioned in briefing paper Part 2 are these worth a mention?
 * I don't think so - they are barely detectable on the ground. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * The first homes.... I doubt if they were the first as previously there had been farmhouses & cottages etc. & we know there was a substantial house at Inns Court in the 15th or 16th century.
 * Wording revised. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Do we have a source for "new wave of development commenced in the 1960s"?
 * Yes, already there, but new cite inserted. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Was Knowle West hit during the Bristol Blitz?
 * I don't think so. There was bombing in Bedminster and Knowle to the west. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * The punctuation at "street grid pattern.", but" with a full stop at the end of the quote and then a comma may be a bit clumsy
 * Sorted. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Cul-de-sac is wikilinked on the second occurrence but not the first
 * Words or phrases in quotes shouldn't be wikilinked. Jezhotwells (talk) 21:01, 27 August 2011 (UTC)

Notable residents
 * I presume the Venture Inn is a local pub but might need to be clarified
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Some People could be wikilinked
 * Done, I hadn't noticed that page before. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

Amenities
 * 2 occurrences of "following" in the sentence "following the closure of Merrywood School in 2000, following a critical report.."
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)


 * In "Health" Bedminster points to a redirect page
 * Roman Catholic and Church of England are wikilinked but Pentecostal and Salvation Army are not.
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)


 * I'm not into the lists of bus services but if included I think there is a typo in "90 Henrove to Broadmead".
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

Politics
 * The sentence "The MP for the Bristol South constituency since 1987 is Dawn Primarolo, of the Labour Party" might need an extra comma or something
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

References
 * At FAC I suspect some of the online sources such as local community groups etc may be challenged for reliability
 * OK, will look at those. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Several have a url for publisher (which is italicised, possibly because work rather than publisher parameters are used) rather than the name or an individual or organisation which may be challenged at FAC
 * Will be going through refs for consistency. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Refs 14,28,32,58 & 60 (all from the City Council) are showing as deadlinks (but this may be temporary)
 * Yes, they redesigned the site. I have fixed those. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

General comments
 * Some more pictures (eg File:Holy Cross church, West Knowle - geograph.org.uk - 1034404.jpg & or File:Shops at Inns Court - geograph.org.uk - 1034410.jpg would help to illustrate the area.
 * Done. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)


 * There are some short (1 or 2 sentence) paragraphs, which may be commented on at FAC
 * OK, I need to go through again after recent additions. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

I hope these comments are useful and are not meant to detract from the great work you have put into the article so far.&mdash; Rod talk 11:07, 22 August 2011 (UTC)
 * No, these are all good suggestions. Thanks. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:37, 3 September 2011 (UTC)