Wikipedia:Peer review/Kobe Bryant/archive1

Kobe Bryant
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to know what to do in order for this article to be at least good article status.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2008.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2008.

Thanks, Annoyomous 24  (talk) 23:09, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

quick comment by Doncram IANASP (I am not a sports person), so i hope u get other reviews. But, Kobe Bryant is very prominent and even i know of him somewhat. I appreciate that the intro addresses the sexual assualt issue, upfront, which it needs to do, although i am not sure the full resolution of it including fact of a settlement reached needs to be in the intro. But, lacking in the intro, and in fact buried until the section titled "Departure of Shaquille O'Neal (2004-2007)", is any discussion of the other big story with respect to Kobe Bryant, that he is very talented obviously but chose not to cooperate with his coach and with Shaquille O'Neal (sp?), over ego issues perhaps. His egotism, perhaps, led to conflict with both of them, and to Shaq's leaving. And it continues to play out like some kind of tragedy of ego, that Kobe is great, yes, but not a team player, and hence the Lakers are far less. Frankly i liked Shaq, and the coach guy, and i think it woulda been great if Kobe had cooperated and the Lakers coulda ruled. My biases and/or misunderstandings aside, i think some allusion to this issue and ongoing tragedy / tragic failure / tragic failure of hubris perhaps, should be included in the intro, and that it is equally or more important than the nationally-prominent sexual assault issue (again, which should be at least mentioned in the intro). Also, the wording of the section title "Departure of Shaquille O'Neal (2004-2007)" is weird. Shaq left on some particular date, he did not gradually fade away over a 3-4 year period. Should it be titled "Competition and conflict with Shaquille O'Neal" or something like that? Be more direct. And foreshadow this with some mention in the intro. Hope this quick comment is helpful. doncram (talk) 17:44, 1 July 2008 (UTC)