Wikipedia:Peer review/Kunbi/archive1

Kunbi
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I've recently expanded the article significantly and I would like to get it promoted to a GA class article.

Thanks, Zuggernaut (talk) 14:11, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: Sorry. I got in over my head on this one, as noted below. I think this has more to do with my ignorance about the subject matter than the article itself. I hope the few comments below are useful in some way.

Lead
 * "Most of the Mawalas serving in Shivaji's military came from the community." - Rather than forcing the reader to click through to find out who Shivaji was, it might be better to include a brief description such as "founder of the Maratha empire".


 * "Of the four or five most important leaders of the Maratha Empire, the Shindes and the Gaekwads were originally of Kunbi origin." - Is this meant to modify Shivaji? Was he a Shinde or a Gaekwad?


 * "caste-lines" - Probably "caste lines" with no hyphen.


 * "the Maratha-Kunbi" - This looks like a term that needs an en dash for disjuncture rather than a hyphen; i.e., Maratha–Kunbi.

Demographics
 * The comma separators in the population table make no sense to me. For example, should the Kumbi population be expressed as 2,116,500, or is that not the correct number?

Maratha-Kunbi
 * I realized when I started reading this section that I was in over my head. I know virtually nothing about the caste system in India, and the article uses too many terms with which I am unfamiliar for me to follow it very well. There's a great deal of detail in this section, but much of it is strange and new to me, and I can't decide what to say about it. I must beg off at this point in commenting on this and the later sections (a few footnotes excepted). I hope the few comments I've posted here are of some use to you. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Footnotes
 * In footnote a, 'Caste Hindu' should appear in regular quotation marks, like this: "Caste Hindu". The single quotation marks are generally reserved for nested quotes (quotes inside of quotes).


 * In footnote a, a sentence says: "Large kingdoms could not be ruled effectively in the absence railways, post and telegraph, paper and printing, good roads, and modern arms and techniques of warfare.".[8] - I think the word "of" is missing between "absence" and "railways", and the sentence needs only one terminal period, the inside one if it's part of the quoted material.


 * In note c the word "sudra" appears. Is this the same as Shudra? If so, maybe you could add a sentence to the note that makes this clear.


 * Note d seems to need a colon after the first use of "Kunbis".

Other
 * The dab checker at the top of this review page finds seven dabs here.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider commenting on any other article at WP:PR. I don't usually watch the PR archives or make follow-up comments. If my suggestions are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 01:37, 27 October 2011 (UTC)
 * Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Fixes per peer review
I've made the changes you've recommended in the review in 2 sets of edits. The review was helpful in fixing several problems that we had overlooked. Thanks! (talk) Zuggernaut (talk) 15:14, 13 November 2011 (UTC)