Wikipedia:Peer review/Kurt Hummel/archive1

Kurt Hummel
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because it recently passed it's GA nomination and I would like to see it reach featured article status. A lot of time and effort has gone into it, and I believe it has potential.

Thanks, HorrorFan121 (talk) 20:51, 5 April 2011 (UTC)

Comment by Kanavb :- I think the article is pretty good, I only noticed very few things that might help it. Actually, I'm NOT qualified enough the review it properly, but I though these might help. More Pictures:- The article is pretty lenghty, and I really feel we must add some pictures, otherwise it's too boring. There are only 2 pictures in the whole article. Just a suggestion! Significant Others:- Should it not be added in the infobox? As far as I know, it's there on every Glee character page. Why not here? Blaine Anderson would be added. That's it! I'm afraid I have not helped much! Kanavb (talk) 09:33, 7 April 2011 (UTC)
 * I disagree with the comment about having more images. Wikipedia's very edgey about including non-free images, and it's best to not include them needlessly. The current ones serve their purpose and aside from the infobox are all free. Harry Blue5 (talk) 23:57, 10 April 2011 (UTC)

Hi, this is a great article. I've read it previously while doing a little fan-research on the show (I'm a huge Gleek), so I'm glad to see it's only improved over time! If you plan to take this to FAC, I would suggest a heavy-duty copy-edit -- perhaps even two. I see some issues with the prose throughout, which can often stall or sink a nomination; "brilliant" and "professional" prose isn't taken lightly. :) A few particulars: That's all I have for now.  FWIW, disagree with the above commenter about the need for more images.  The lone FU one in the infobox may cause issues in its own right.  It seems a fairly comprehensive article, although I don't have any experience with writing high-quality pieces about fictional characters.  Like I said, the main issue will be the prose, which definitely needs to be tweaked and then re-tweaked; not because it's bad, but because the lot at FAC are picky.  Best of luck! María ( habla  con migo ) 20:41, 18 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Comments from Maria
 * Try to vary sentence structure more; it's a bit tedious -- especially in a lead -- to begin most sentences with a subject: "The character", "Kurt", "He", "Colfer", "Kurt", etc. Shake it up a bit with a few more complex sentences.
 * Kurt is regularly portrayed by actor Chris Colfer. -- as opposed to not being regularly portrayed? :)
 * In the beginning, the show was leaning on Kurt being overly flamboyant. -- "leaning on... being" is awkward.
 * Watch the repetitive wikilinks: "Grilled Cheesus" is linked in back to back sections (and again later on), and there may be others.
 * What does "a de facto male lead" in the first sentence mean? At first I thought it was referring to his role in New Directions, but I guess it can also refer to him being a male lead of the show itself.  Is it truly necessary?
 * I don't believe awards are referred to "in quotes", such as "Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or Television Film". I've not seen them in actor/film FAs, anyway.  (American Beauty (film), for example.)
 * The role has earned Colfer nominations for several further awards -- "several further" is clumsy and doesn't make much sense. In fact, this section ("Accolades") is weird because it doesn't seem to be in any sort of order; should it be by award type, chronologically, what?
 * Thanks for the review! I'll recommend it for a copy-edit and see if I can fix up some of the things you mentioned in here. HorrorFan121 (talk) 21:29, 18 April 2011 (UTC)