Wikipedia:Peer review/Lisa Simpson/archive1

Lisa Simpson
This peer review discussion has been closed. This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because i would like to see it to a fa. Thanks, Pedro J.  the rookie 17:10, 18 October 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: This looks to me like it is nearly ready for FAC, here are some nitpicky suggestions for improvement.


 * Third paragraph of Voice section repeats the bit about Yeardley Smith not being recognized in public twice - I would combine these (and the second version with the whole quote and not just the word wonderful is better)


 * There are a few places where a bit more context could be added to help the reader's understanding. For example I would give a very brief summary of the plot of "Moaning Lisa", perhaps something like Many episodes focusing on Lisa have an emotional nature, the first one being "Moaning Lisa" [in which her beloved saxophone teacher dies].


 * I would put the Buddhist conversion in the Development section (as it is a change in character).


 * I would be consistent about referring to episodes - in most cases the episode name, year and number of the season is given, but not always (Lisa's Wedding). For example I would identify the episodes where she became a Buddhist and threw paint on Krusty in the text in Lisa became a practicing Buddhist following her decision to follow the Noble Eightfold Path.[55] There have been several instances where Lisa has used extreme measures to get her point across, such as throwing paint on Krusty the Clown for wearing a fur coat.[56]


 * Watch WP:OVERLINKing - for example the episode Lisa the Vegeterian is linked three times in three sections, and vegetarianism is linked twice in two consecutive sections

*The refs seem fine in all cases but this: Lisa has appeared in commercials for Burger King,[72] Butterfinger,[73] C.C. Lemon and Ramada Inn. (last two points need a ref (or two)).


 * The prose is generally quite good, but it owuld help to print it out and read it out loud after a few days of no contact with the article (to catch some rough spots or tighten the prose).

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 01:46, 31 October 2009 (UTC)