Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Baccano! episodes/archive1

List of Baccano! episodes
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I am aiming for FL. I'd also appreciate a copy-edit too; my writing is usually worse than I think it is. Thanks, ~ Itzjustdrama ? C 23:53, 10 January 2010 (UTC)


 * There is typo in episode 2, the money sentence. Also is "New York City, Senator Beriam places the safety of the train's cargo over the safety of his family." relevant to the plot? That's all I could find. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 00:56, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Ah. The typo is no longer there. And I removed the sentence, I removed what became of that mini-sideplot before I moved it to mainspace.

Well I never watched the series so these things are new to me but there are a few things I don't understand.
 * Plot comments


 * Episode 1"In 1932, New York City, the vice president of the Daily Days newspaper Gustav St. Germain and his assistant Carol are investigating loosely connected recent events and are attempting to choose a starting date, ranging from 1711 to the 1930s, and a main character from about twenty candidates." Events as in murders? And what is the candidate for?
 * The events are basically what happens in the series. Although, the episode only shows random snippets. I don't have any other way to describe other than "strange events". The candidates are for the main character, mentioned slightly before the phrase in the sentence.
 * Now says: "In 1932, New York City, the vice president of the Daily Days newspaper Gustav St. Germain and his assistant Carol are investigating a series of strange events and are attempting to choose a starting date, ranging from 1711 to the 1930s, and a main character from about twenty people."


 * Episode 3, are, are the people going to visit the information broker parts significant?
 * Cut.


 * Episode 4, "Nicholas, learns from Elean, another employee, that there is classified information on Dallas because he may be immortal." Not sure but Elean is immortal so he knows about Dallas?
 * Rearranged sentence to make it clearer. Says: "the two receptionists, Nicholas and Elean, discuss that the information on Dallas is classified because he may be immortal."


 * "Meanwhile, Dallas attacks Barnes." Is this significant or could it be excluded till later?
 * It's actually mentioned earlier. I removed this specific mention.


 * Episode 6, "Nick sees blood pooling out of another cabin. Ladd walks out of the cabin and refuses to take responsibility for the carnage in that cabin." This can be combined right?
 * Combined to say: "When Nick sees blood pooling out of another cabin, Ladd walks out of the cabin and refuses to take responsibility for the carnage in it."


 * Episode 8, "Nice and Nick to search one half of the train while he and Donny search the other." Typo
 * Got it.


 * Episode 9, "Dune walks in. The conductor, unable to get information he wants from Dune, decides to torture him." Could be combined?
 * Combined to say: "Dune walks in, and the conductor, unable to obtain any information from him, decides to torture Dune." Although I don't think that's the best way to combine it.


 * Episode 13, is the blood alive?
 * No, but I really don't know how to stick that into the summary.
 * "He explains Vino was born Claire Stanfield and was adopted by the Gandor." Is Claire Vino's true identity?
 * Fixed. Now says: "He explains that Vino's true identity is Claire Stanfield, adoptive brother of the Gandor."


 * Overall, Is Isaac the same person as Issac? They both appear in the article more than once. Also, maybe some three word sentences would be combined with the sentence behind or in front of the previous ones.DragonZero (talk · contribs) 09:45, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Ah. They are; I just can't spell Isaac. I can't really find any short sentences. I might have missed them though. ~ Itzjustdrama ?  C 21:27, 17 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Other comments
 * Source 4's date should be changed. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 01:20, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Got it. ~ Itzjustdrama ?  C 01:26, 18 January 2010 (UTC)