Wikipedia:Peer review/List of United States politicians who admit to cannabis use/archive1

List of United States politicians who admit to cannabis use
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to know how the list can be improved. I hope that eventually this list will reach Featured status. The list does have quite a bit of prose, but I think this is necessary given the complicated history and relationship between cannabis and the United States.

I used Eric Schlosser's Reefer Madness for most of the historical information, with additional sources to back up information as needed. I am wondering if more sources need to be added for additional confirmation (though I am pretty sure the information is accurate). Also, I realize it can be hard to keep information neutral, especially with controversial topics such as drug policy, but I hope that information is presented in a non-biased fashion.

I am hoping spelling, grammar and punctuation are up to par, all images should have alt text, and all sources should be formatted properly at this point. Is the lead suitable? Should a lead image be added? Any feedback would be much appreciated regarding these questions and any other concerns. Thanks! -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:12, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

Brianboulton comments:
 * I am somewhat confused about the focus of this article/list. Its title is clear, yet in fact it is two things: the expected list of US politicians, and associated information practically forming a distinct article, about the nature of cannabis and the history of its use in the United States.
 * Initially, this list focused solely on modern politicians admitting to recreational marijuana use. However, I noticed that most sources during the research process included information about the historical use of hemp for industrial purposes, so I thought it would be appropriate to include this as well. The relationship between cannabis and the United States is very complicated, so I thought it was important to provide appropriate historical context. I used List of recessions in the United States, a featured list which also contains multiple lists as well as a fair amount of prose, as a general example. I thought the pre- and post-prohibition sections made the article much more interesting, rather than simply a list of politicians that smoked recreationally or experimented once or twice in their youth. I realize it is a lot of prose for a list, but I think it provides a general history of cannabis in the country so that readers understand why it is significant that politicians are admitting to cannabis use. -- Another Believer  ( Talk ) 20:14, 30 November 2009 (UTC)


 * In particular, given the title, the lead section needs to be rewritten in a form which complies with WP:LEAD, i.e. provides a summary of the content, in this case a summary of the content of the main lists which follow. A short "Historical context" section could follow the lead, to include some of the historical information, but the main focus of the article ought to be the lists.
 * Hmm, I am sorry to hear the lead is not satisfactory, only because I thought it did summarize the article. The article contains information about the multiple uses of cannabis, the history of cannabis use throughout the nation's history, and laws pertaining to the drug--I tried to make the lead reflect all of this. I also thought it would be appropriate to start off by explaining what cannabis is exactly, especially since many Americans use the term "marijuana" as opposed to "cannabis". Since the lead does not satisfy you (which I have no problem with, by the way), do you have any specific recommendations for improvement? -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 20:14, 30 November 2009 (UTC)


 * I can see very little wrong with the prose, and the technical issues - referencing, date formats etc, seem OK. The only thing I could find to comment on is that your alt text descriptions only refer to colour/race in the case of Obama ("A black man").
 * Thank you. I enjoy making these lists, and have several featured lists under my belt, so I am fairly aware of some of the common issues that should be addressed. Regarding the alt text: to be honest, I am uncomfortable referring to someone as "black" without making racial references to others, but a reviewer included that once for another list I was working on and I just copied that action here. I removed "black". -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 20:14, 30 November 2009 (UTC)


 * The lists are immaculately drawn and well-referenced. The only small point I can raise is to query the form "Senator of ..." I have always understood that the correct form was "Senator from ...". Am I right?
 * How funny that I did not know this. I consider myself a bit of a news/political junkie, but I wasn't familiar with this preferred term. Sure enough, all of the Senator articles use "from". Done. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 20:14, 30 November 2009 (UTC)


 * I do think that the article would benefit from a lead image, perhaps that of Washington, with an appropriate caption to explain why he is there.
 * Noted. Perhaps I will move the image of Washing to the top and find one of another Founding Father for the pre-prohibition section. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 20:14, 30 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Done. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 00:42, 13 December 2009 (UTC)

That is all I can find. Hope this helps. Brianboulton (talk) 19:40, 30 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much for your time and suggestions. A few questions, if you don't mind.
 * 1. Should the article read as "List of United States politicians who admit to cannabis use", given that the list is included in Category:Lists of United States politicians?
 * Update: Title updated. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 00:35, 13 December 2009 (UTC)
 * 2. Does the multiple uses of "Member of the United States House of Representatives" bother you, or should they be changed to reflect the state or district they represent(ed)? For instance, should Jim Moran's highest position be "Member of the United States House of Representatives" or "Representative from Virginia", or something else with more specificity?
 * 3. How much more work does this list need before I try for featured status? I could not quite tell from your first two bullets whether minor edits or major overhauls were required.
 * Thanks again for your assistance. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 20:14, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * "Cannabis is a genus of flowering plants with species that have long..." - is... have - seems to go from singular to plural..
 * It does. Cannabis is a singular genus which contains multiple species of plants, all of which have... Right? -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)


 * No need to italicise Cannabis the second time round really.
 * Done. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)


 * "known to grow hemp for industrial" - perhaps "known to have grown hemp..."?
 * Done. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)


 * Not sure you really need to link import.
 * Done. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)


 * "when imports from Russia replaced the plant." what do you mean?  This says that production carried on until the imports "replaced the plant" - do you mean that the Russian imports meant that home-grown stopped?
 * Correct. Hopefully "... when Russia began importing hemp products" sounds better. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)


 * "Prior to this wave of prohibition, American politicians known to use cannabis for industrial or recreational purposes include several Founding Fathers and former Presidents." single-sentence para followed by a table. A little odd...
 * Should it be combined with the previous paragraph? My intent was to separate background information from the table description. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)


 * No need to continually relink to the President of the US page.
 * Which instances should be removed? The link is used once in the lead, once in the article, and within tables and captions. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)


 * "Emperor of China Shennong in the 28th century BC.[1] In the United States, cannabis was initially grown for industrial reasons, though recreational use spread quickly during the 20th century." - big, BIG jump. Anything notable here in the intervening 4800 years?
 * I will do some additional research. I felt the background information was extensive as it is, but I can add another sentence or two about additional recreational use throughout history. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)


 * It's not clear that the big table is, in fact, your list of US politicians who admit to cannabis use. Re-reading, I'm not sure it's useful to split the pre- and post-prohibition either.  You could include these facts in notes...
 * Kyle E. McSlarrow has no "lifetime" details. If not known then state it.
 * Still trying to track down this information... -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)


 * Same for Donohue.
 * Still trying to track down this information... -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)


 * Ref 10 has a hyphen and an odd date format.
 * Done. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)

The Rambling Man (talk) 15:58, 10 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your assistance. Much appreciated. I can think of a few ways to improve the article, but I am still having a very difficult time gauging whether this list is FL-appropriate or not. I am getting positive feedback about the list, but there still seems to be a bit of confusion about the pre- and post-prohibition tables. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 December 2009 (UTC)