Wikipedia:Peer review/List of accolades received by Up/archive1

List of accolades received by Up
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I think that it easily can pass the featured list candidature, but the first criteria (Prose. It features professional standards of writing.) is always a problem in my edits, because I am not a native speaker of English. Any comment is welcome. Thank you Tb hotch Ta lk C. 03:45, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

Comment: Is it possible to frame the title so that it is clear that "Up" refers to a film? The word is so commonplace, and the film is not so universally known that the meaning, as it stands, is obvious. Possible ways of doing this: italicize Up? or add (film) to the title?


 * Actually it is in italics (Up is a 2009 computer-animated film), and add something like "The film Up is a 2009 computer-animated movie" would be fine, but I'm basing in the WALL-E and Ratatouille (film) accolades, so I don't know if it is a rule. Tb hotch Ta lk C. 22:11, 19 August 2010 (UTC)


 * I see that the Wikipedia article for the film is Up (2009 film). As there are other films called Up, it is essential that the right film is represented in this list's title. Therefore move to "List of accolades received by Up (2009 film)". Brianboulton (talk) 18:19, 20 August 2010 (UTC)


 * The (2009 film) is for distinguish pages, if the List of accolades received by Up exist, it should be moved, but only won an Academy Award and a Jury Prize, while the other film is Up!, so its own page should be List of accolades received by Up!. Actually, the List of accolades received by Avatar is not called List of accolades received by Avatar (2009 film). Tb hotch Ta lk C. 03:31, 21 August 2010 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This film certainly won an impressive batch of awards. The table looks good. There are no dabs, no dead links. References look good. The image license has a dead link to the original Flickr image; that would make me nervous if I were the main contributor, but it may be OK since a reviewer apparently checked it when the url still worked. I have a few suggestions about the prose in the lead, as follows:


 * "The film premiered on May 29, 2009, in North America, and opened the 2009 Cannes Film Festival, becoming the first animated and 3D film to do so." - This might seem like a minor quibble, but it was the only animated 3D film to open the 2009 Cannes Film Festival, so it must have been the first. I think what you actually mean is that it was the first animated 3D film to ever open the Cannes Festival. Suggestion: "The film, which premiered on May 29, 2009, in North America, became the first animated 3D film to open the Cannes Film Festival."


 * "The movie was released with both critical acclaim and box office success, opening in 3,766 theaters domestically, debuting at number one with $68,108,790 dollars, and grossing $731,342,724 worldwide.[3] and receiving the Golden Tomato, from the website Rotten Tomatoes, for highest rating feature in 2009,[4] with an approval of 98% from film critics, based on 259 reviews." - Too complex. Split into two separate sentences?


 * "It is the second fully animated film to be nominated for Best Picture, the other being Beauty and the Beast,[6] and also become the third consecutive Pixar film to win the Academy Award for Animated Feature, after Ratatouille and WALL-E." - Split this one too? Suggestion: "It is the second fully animated film to be nominated for Best Picture; the other was Beauty and the Beast.[6] Up also was the third consecutive Pixar film to win the Academy Award for Animated Feature, after Ratatouille and WALL-E."


 * The second paragraph gets a bit heavy with detail toward the end. "Rivera received the Motion Pictures Motion Picture Producer of the Year Award, for Animated Theatrical Motion Pictures, given by the Producers Guild of America, while Docter and Peterson were honored by the British Academy Film Awards with the BAFTA Award for Best Animated Film, and Giacchino the BAFTA Award for Best Film Music." Would this be better if trimmed somewhat to shorten the long string of nouns starting with capital letters? Maybe something like: "Rivera received a Producer of the Year award from Producers Guild of America, while Docter, Peterson, and Giacchino won British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA) awards for their work on the film"?

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 19:31, 14 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your comments. Tb hotch Ta lk C. 06:15, 21 August 2010 (UTC)