Wikipedia:Peer review/List of awards and nominations received by Kid Cudi/archive1

List of awards and nominations received by Kid Cudi
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review becauseâ¦I would like to nominated it for Featured List status in the near future. I've done my best to model the article after other FL lists about recording artists. Any input on changes that need to be made for it to be FL status would be very appreciated. Thanks, Crystal Clear x3 09:16, 2 December 2010 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: The basic layout looks fine to me and seems parallel to FLs in the same sub-category of the music lists. I know nothing about Kid Cudi except what this article tells me. Here are my further thoughts:

Heads and subheads
 * The Manual of Style advises against repeating the main words of the article title in the section heads and subheads. For this reason, I would suggest dropping the word "award" from "BET Award" and the others. Just "BET", "BET Hip Hop", and so on would be fine. WP:MOSHEAD has details.

Overlinking
 * The linking is a bit irregular. It's good practice to link unfamiliar terms once in the lead on first use and perhaps once in the main text on first use. You link Day 'n' Nite on first use in the lead, which is fine, but then don't link it on first use in "BET Hip Hop Awards" and do link it "Beatport Music Awards" and again and again in the later tables. I think just linking it once in the lead and once in the "BET Hip Hop Awards" would be fine; the other links are redundant.

Lead


 * Since the lead makes claims not supported by a reliable source later in the article, they should be supported with inline citations here. I'm thinking specifically of the few biographical details; e.g. birth in Cleveland, notice by West, signing with GOOD Music. Where does this information come from? See List of awards and nominations received by Timbaland for examples of citations in the lead of a featured list.
 * "Kid Cudi is a three-time Grammy Award nominated American rapper and actor from Cleveland, Ohio." - Rather than stringing together so many adjectives in front of "rapper", I'd consider recasting. Suggestion: "Kid Cudi is an American rapper and actor from Cleveland, Ohio, who has been nominated for Grammy Awards three times."


 * Not knowing much about the Grammys, I wonder how unusual it is to be nominated. Lots of people get nominated for political offices, for example, but few win. Would it be useful to add some statistics here; e.g., number of nominations per year and number of winners per year? Ditto for the BET awards and the other categories of awards. I don't see that other editors provide this kind of information in the few parallel music FLs I've looked at, but I would ask the same question of them.


 * Who are the nominators? Can anyone nominate anyone? Would it be helpful to include something brief about the nominating procedures for each kind of award? Even if other music FLs don't include this kind of information, I would at least consider including it. Something that is featured can still be improved.


 * Link mixtape in the second sentence?


 * "The release of his debut album, as well as its lead single "Day 'n' Nite", saw him be nominated for a number of awards, including three Grammy Awards and a MTV Video Music Award." - Since a release can literally see, I'd recommend something else. Suggestion: "The release of his debut album, as well as its lead single "Day 'n' Nite", led to his nomination for three Grammy Awards, an MTV Video Music Award, and other honors."


 * "He has thus far in his career won..." - Instead of saying "thus far", which is ambiguous, I'd suggest saying something like "Through 2010 he has won... ".

BET Awards
 * "and other minorities in music, acting, sports, and other fields of entertainment over the past year." - Tighten by deleting "over the past year".

References
 * Citation 2 should include the date of publication, September 17, 2009.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 21:08, 11 December 2010 (UTC)