Wikipedia:Peer review/List of awards and nominations received by Priyanka Chopra/archive2

List of awards and nominations received by Priyanka Chopra
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because it has the potential to be a FL. This Peer review would help the list for further improvisation.
 * Previous peer review

Thanks, — PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:58, 30 December 2012 (UTC)

Initial comments
 * "Debuting at Bollywood with The Hero (2003), she received the Stardust Award for Best Supporting Actress in 2004." → She made her acting debut at Bollywood with The Hero in 2003, and received the Stardust Award for Best Supporting Actress for her performance in the film.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 17:17, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * That year, she won the Filmfare Award for Best Female Debut for her role in Andaaz (2003), as well as the Filmfare Best Villain Award for her performance in Aitraaz (2004); she became the second and last woman to win the latter before the category was retired in 2008. → In the same year, she featured in Andaaz which earned her the Filmfare Award for Best Female Debut for her role. She won the Filmfare Best Villain Award for her performance in Aitraaz in 2005; she became the second woman, after Kajol, to win the award before the category was retired in 2008.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 17:17, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * She then starred in Fashion (2008), → "in 2008" I don't know why are you using these brackets every time?
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 17:17, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Same for "Kaminey (2009)" and "7 Khoon Maaf (2012)"
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 17:17, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * In 2012, Chopra released under .... don't start a sentence with "In....." put it at the end of the sentence
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 17:17, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Same for "In 2008, she was ...." there may be others...
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 17:17, 1 January 2013 (UTC)

Resolved and Explained below.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 17:46, 1 January 2013 (UTC) Zia Khan 20:25, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
 * Colours shouldn't be used alone, you need to use symbol along with the colours and check them against WP:ACCESS.
 * please, take a look now, I think it's look more good now.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 02:48, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * None of my concerns is addressed yet, you've just introduced a new paragraph to the lead section. Zia Khan 06:33, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Now, your issues are resolved. Thank you for the help.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 17:17, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Hey Zia, I did some copy edit of the lead to make it flow better. Care to take a look? I still believe the references can be improved though. — Indian: BIO  · [ ChitChat ] 08:38, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Don't you think, you should point out weaknesses rather than correcting everything, coz what I know about peer review is that other editors point out mistakes and nominators addresses them not others.....pls follow the rule and please point out mistakes.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 16:36, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Check the use of WP:endash and WP:MDASH for years ranges. Zia Khan 17:34, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 17:52, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Just a comment. "Colours shouldn't be used alone, you need to use symbol" ehm no. The text inside the box is enough to meet accessibility. — ΛΧΣ  21  17:14, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Is that so? Than I'll need your comment at Featured list candidates/List of Prime Ministers of Pakistan/archive1. Zia Khan 17:24, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Let me take a look. This is studied on a case by case basis. Mostly, awards and nomination lists are excluded from thr use of a symbol. Sorry if I was too brief and lacking substance in my previous comment (I was eating). — ΛΧΣ  21  17:29, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * No problem, I'm just curious to learn somthing new! Zia Khan 17:34, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Okay. I have taken a look. This is why your list needs the use of symbols, and why this one doesn't: This list has three options: won, nominated and pending. Such information doesn't need the use of a colour to give any value to its meaning. Also, those fields are rendered with three different templates already meeting WP:ACCESS: won, nom and pending. The difference with your list is that you don't use the colours on a defined sequence and, in the leyend, you have two fields without using any colour. — ΛΧΣ  21  17:35, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks for that. Zia Khan 17:42, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * You're welcome. I have supported your list. Good luck :) — ΛΧΣ  21  17:45, 1 January 2013 (UTC)

More comments
 * "Aitraaz" should be in italicised and also link it
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 18:42, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Born in Jamshedpur, India on 18 July 1982 and raised in many cities across the country, Chopra moved to Newton, Massachusetts and later to Cedar Rapids, Iowa for higher studies.[1] After spending four years in the United States, Chopra returned to India where → No need of this, I think
 * Removed.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 18:42, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Still not done. Remove "Chopra returned to India where". Zia Khan 21:22, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Done already.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 02:29, 2 January 2013 (UTC)


 * She then..... → Chopra then....... start new paragraphs with names
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 18:42, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * including the National Award and Filmfare Award. → "the" before Filmfare
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 18:42, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Chopra's first single → what is a single? you may link this
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 18:42, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * rganisation groups awarded Chopra achievement honours. → don't understand what are you saying?
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 18:42, 1 January 2013 (UTC)

Zia Khan 18:08, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Link "Hindustan Times" in ref at first use. Zia Khan 21:26, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 02:29, 2 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Ref 6 needs author name, there may be others check them.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 02:29, 2 January 2013 (UTC)Zia Khan 21:35, 1 January 2013 (UTC)


 * I had worked hard on the references too, don't has much issue.:AllDone.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 02:29, 2 January 2013 (UTC)

Giants2008 comments – This definitely looks improved from the state it was in at its first FLC. Still needs a little work on various prose and other issues, though.
 * I count 80 nominations in the infobox listing, not 79 as the totals and lead claim.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "in categories mostly ranging from Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress." This isn't really a range; maybe you could try a semi-colon before this and then "most were in the Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress categories."
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Without the "were" it should be something like "awards and nominations, mostly in the categories...". Giants2008  ( Talk ) 01:10, 10 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 17:40, 10 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Semi-colon in there now should be a comma. Giants2008  ( Talk ) 23:05, 13 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 02:09, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "various film and fashion organization groups has awarded Chopra several achievement honours." Would be much cleaner prose-wise as "various film and fashion organizations have given Chopra honours."
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "Chopra was declared the Topmost influential Indian...". I'm thinking that "Topmost" should be a decapitalized "most" instead.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "The Apsara Film & Television Producers Guild Awards is presented by...". "is" → "are".
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "The Bengal Film Journalists Association Awards is the oldest association of film critics in India". The awards themselves can't be the association. Replacing "is" with "are presented by" should be an adequate fix.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Bollywood Hungama Surfers' Choice Awards: "Chopra has won the award for the Best Actress in two consecutive years." Second "the" should be removed.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "The Filmfare Awards is one of the oldest...". "is" → "are" again.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Global Indian Film Awards: En dash needed for the year range.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)
 * In "between 2005 to 2007", "to" should be "and". Alternately, you could try "from" before the years. Giants2008  ( Talk ) 01:10, 10 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 17:40, 10 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "The GQ Men of the Year Awards is presented by GQ magazine." "is" → "are" once again.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "The Lions Gold Awards is an annual accolade..." → "The Lions Gold Awards are accolades presented annually...".
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Also, are these awards given to "the Indian film industry", or people in the industry?
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * National Film Awards: "the" needed before International Film Festival of India, and "Indian government's".
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "The awards are presented by the President of India. Due to its national scale, it is considered...". Since "awards" is correctly plural, "its" and "it is" should be "their" and "they are", respectively.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Sabsey Favourite Kaun Awards: "was annually presented" makes more sense as "were presented annually".
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "The Stardust Awards is presented by Stardust magazine." Again, "is" should be "are".
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Zee Cine Awards: Another en dash needed for a year range here.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Here, for "in 2009 to 2010", the first word should probably be "from" instead of "in". Giants2008  ( Talk ) 01:10, 10 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 17:40, 10 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Chopra now has five nominations for the Zee Cine Awards, not four. This needs an update, and may be why the nomination totals were off before.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Another en dash is needed in the title of her 2009 Cineblitz Award.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)
 * I don't know what you did to the award title, but it should be the way it was before, except that one of the dashes used elsewhere in this section should go between the award name and category. Giants2008  ( Talk ) 01:10, 10 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 17:40, 10 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Recognitions: First, this isn't a word commonly used and another title is going to be required for the section.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)
 * I still see the same title. Is it ever used in the media? We don't see it in the U.S., and I'm curious as to why they wouldn't go under other awards. Giants2008  ( Talk ) 01:10, 10 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 17:40, 10 January 2013 (UTC)


 * First word of "achievement honours" should probably go, as the two words sort of duplicate each other.
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * All caps in one of the references in cite 24 ("D-Day") should be made into sentence case instead
 * Done.— PKS: 1142  · (TALK) 07:29, 7 January 2013 (UTC)

Giants2008 ( Talk ) 00:36, 6 January 2013 (UTC)

Comments from Vensatry
 * Bollywood film debut.
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 03:36, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "The same year, Chopra received four nominations for her part in Andaaz", four nominations in which all award ceremonies?
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 03:36, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * for her part in Andaaz -> for her work or something like that would be better.
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 03:36, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * second woman-> second actress; the sentence needs a source as it's not verified by the source.
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 03:36, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * The sentence "for which she won every "Best Actress" award in India" doesn't sound good. You mean she won awards even at the state level?
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 03:36, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * The "Other awards" section contains a list of non-notable awards. Is it an indication that this list contains each and every single award that she won till date.
 * I didnt understand your issue on this.— PKS (TALK) 03:36, 9 January 2013 (UTC)
 * The section has a lot of non-notable awards. Are you sure that each and every single award that she has won to date has been listed in the page? &mdash; Vensatry (Ping me)  14:49, 13 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Yes, every award, she has won is listed here.— PKS (TALK) 02:09, 27 January 2013 (UTC)


 * From 2009 to 2012, Chopra received 30 nominations is not verified by the source.
 * Infobox has every numbers..— PKS (TALK) 03:36, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * "The following year, Rediff ranked her first on their annual listing of "Bollywood's Best Actress". Eastern Eye twice ranked her at the top of their list of "World's Sexiest Asian Women": unsourced.
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 03:36, 9 January 2013 (UTC)

&mdash; Vensatry (Ping me)  14:08, 8 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Comments from Yash


 * No need to include As of December 2012, Chopra has received 53 awards from 81 nominations.
 * This is very much needed, see List of awards and nominations received by Madonna.


 * She participated in the Femina Miss India 2000 contest, winning the Femina Miss India World title. - She participated in the Femina Miss India 2000 contest and won the Miss India World title.
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * After that, she competed in the Miss World pageant, where she was crowned Miss World 2000 and Miss World Continental − Asia & Oceania. - no need to use After that - you can use Eventually instead. - Also remove, after pageant
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * During her nine year career, Chopra has received various awards and nominations; most were in the Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress categories - Chopra has received various awards and nominations; most in the categories of Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * She made her Bollywood film debut in The Hero in 2003 for which she received an award for Best Supporting Actress at the Stardust Awards. - She made her acting debut at Bollywood with The Hero in 2003 for which she received the award for Best Supporting Actress at the Stardust Awards.
 * She made her Bollywood debut in 2003 not acting debut, her acting debut was in 2002.


 * The same year, Chopra received four nominations for her part in Andaaz, and she won the Filmfare Award for Best Female Debut - The same year, Chopra received four nominations for her part in Andaaz and won the Filmfare Award for Best Female Debut
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Chopra then starred in Fashion in 2008 for which she won every "Best Actress" award in India, - Chopra starred in Fashion in 2008 for which she won every "Best Actress" award in India,
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Chopra's first single "In My City" was released in 2012 by Interscope Records and won her a People's Choice Award for "Best International Debut" and three nominations at the World Music Awards. - Chopra's first single, "In My City" which was released in 2012 by Interscope Records won her a People's Choice Award for "Best International Debut" and three nominations at the World Music Awards.
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Apart from acting awards, various film and fashion organizations have given Chopra honours - Apart from acting, various film and fashion organizations have honored Chopra
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * She was chosen as Goddess of Atlantis in 2008 for the inauguration function of Atlantis, The Palm, a luxury holiday resort in Dubai. - She was chosen as the Goddess of Atlantis in 2008 for the inaugural function of Atlantis, The Palm, a luxury holiday resort in Dubai.
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Later, she became the first Indian actress to cast her foot impressions at the Salvatore Ferragamo Museum, Florence. - Rmv Later
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * People and Maxim magazines declared her the best dressed woman and the "hottest girl" in India for 2011. - People and Maxim magazines declared her as the best dressed woman and the "hottest girl" in India in 2011.
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Chopra was declared as the topmost influential Indian in the social media circuit by Pinstorm India. - Chopra was declared as the most influential Indian in the social media circuit by Pinstorm India.
 * Done.— PKS (TALK) 05:41, 9 January 2013 (UTC)

&mdash;  Yash [talk] 15:30, 8 January 2013 (UTC)

Comments from Wikipedian Penguin: I decided to get down and dirty, and performed a copy edit to the lead. See what you think. The biggest weak point for it was the repetitious flow. It read like a list and sentences were structured the same. I've done my best, but if you can read the lead aloud and spot any rough and repetitive spots, be sure to fix those. The lead is an FLC's biggest chance to give a positive impression to the reader and if it suffers, the whole article does. This one's a bit tricky: there's quite a lot of the word "of" in the lead and it doesn't sound pleasant the way it is placed throughout. It is important to vary the prose, and sometimes that is easier said than done. Get creative: rearrange words, phrases, and even remove needless phrases. Nevertheless, I think the introduction has improved. Hope this helps. — WP: PENGUIN  · [ TALK ]  18:49, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
 * will definitely do that. Its waiting Copy/edit from GOCE and would definitely would be free in one week. Hence, waiting for it. Prashant   Conversation  03:17, 28 January 2013 (UTC)

Done
 * Thank You Everyone for your help. I think the list has improved and is much better now. Prashant   Conversation  20:35, 30 January 2013 (UTC)