Wikipedia:Peer review/Lombo Pocket Watch/archive1

Lombo Pocket Watch
I've listed this article for peer review because…I would like to get some feedback on how to improve.

Thanks,

LPWRHR (talk) 17:04, 8 December 2007 (UTC)


 * Some feedback:
 * Note WP:LEAD - for an article of this length, there should be a max of about 3 paragraphs.
 * WP:HEAD suggests that headings should avoid having links; see if you can move the links to some part of the prose. Also, it looks like the text could use a couple more links.
 * WP:MOSNUM discusses the usage of conversions, eg. 1 m (3 ft). I added &amp;nbsp; already.
 * The footnotes need proper citing; there are now Cite web templates, could you fill in the parameters? For example, title, author, date of access, etc.
 * Have the article fixed for spelling and grammar mistakes (suggest that you request that somebody else helps, since having a pair of fresh eyes is good). Couple of examples: (use cursor to hover over underlined)
 * Lombo Pocket Watch is a grey harness racing colt, gaited a pacer he was foaled 16 October 2003.
 * The second sentence is too long and should be split up, as its rather hard to follow the subject of the sentence.
 * 1st of June 2007 - WP:DATE - avoid using 'st' 'th' for dates
 * As at December 7, before his McInerney Ford Classic victory, Lombo Pocket Watch sat at 28th on the all-time stakes winners list, and Australasia's youngest millionaire pacer.
 * Also, there are a bunch of typos. In the fourth paragraph 'in' needs to be capitalized. Also spell-check, contributer (contributor),prestigous (prestigious).
 * Do you think you could find a free picture? That would be nice.

Good luck, AZ t 21:23, 8 December 2007 (UTC)


 * Could you run the slide rule over the updated version and see what else needs to be done. I don't have any photos and I'm not sure he'll race in melbourne again. LPWRHR (talk) 13:31, 9 December 2007 (UTC)


 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:39, 11 December 2007 (UTC)