Wikipedia:Peer review/Lone Wolf v. Hitchcock/archive1

Lone Wolf v. Hitchcock
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I'm trying to take this article to Featured Status.

Thanks, GregJackP   Boomer!   19:00, 1 May 2015 (UTC)

Quick comment: WP:IMGLOC says we shouldn't let text be sandwiched between images like how it is in the Background section. Since there's a lack of space, maybe you could group the maps together using a horizontal Template:Multiple image? -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 09:34, 15 May 2015 (UTC)
 * Done - thanks, I had not thought about that solution. GregJackP   Boomer!   13:30, 15 May 2015 (UTC)
 * I was thinking maybe, use the horizontal template for all three maps and place it in the center of the section...like a sort-of gallery, then the text won't be so stuffed to one side? You have another set (Younger, Elder and Hitchcock) which can be further put in the relevant section. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 09:24, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
 * PS: From what I know about WP:GALLERY, this should be permitted. I'm not so experienced in FAs but I'm fairly certain this is allowed. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 09:26, 20 May 2015 (UTC)''
 * Done, as to the maps, I'm not as sure on the portrait photos. Elder is not connected with the lawsuit (he's in due to his role in the treaties), and when I did a preview with just Younger & Hitchcock, I didn't like the way it looked. I'll think about it some more though. GregJackP   Boomer!   14:19, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
 * Hey it actually solved your problem. No need of doing any further work here, all images are well-spaced with no text sandwich. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 16:09, 20 May 2015 (UTC)


 * Comments by Ugog Nizdast
 * Some image captions are sentence fragments but have a period, see WP:CAPFRAG.
 * "Main articles" links have been given for Kiowa people, Plains Apache and Comanche, Little Arkansas Treaty and Medicine Lodge Treaty, and Cultural assimilation of Native Americans. That would mean you need to summarise accordingly (WP:DETAIL) from the subarticles, over here. It doesn't seem to be the case for most of these examples, so you can replace them with the Further or Detail headers which don't require you to summarise where that is the case.
 * "By 1854, need for another treaty became apparent, the United States entered into a treaty with the Kiowa, Comanche, and Kiowa-Appache (KCA) at Fort Ackinson, Indian Territory." For copyediting, redundancy should be reduced, these changes can be implemented if any significant meaning isn't altered. Try to find more such cases if you can.
 * "There was an attempt to place some of the tribes on a reservation" but it says previously that the treaty didn't? or did they separately try to do it? clarify. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 11:39, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
 * Fixed captions.
 * Replaced "Main article" links with "Further" links.
 * OK, I'll look for others.
 * OK, I'll come up with clearer language. GregJackP   Boomer!   14:35, 20 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Csisc
Dear Mr., I thank you first for your exceptional work about Lone Wolf v. Hitchcock... It is important to see how Indians had worked to save their civil rights in the United States. The work is well structured and well written and I think that after some rectifications in the first and last parts of the work, it can get the GA status more easily.
 * The first part: The part about Kiowa is very limited. Try to widen it by involving some details about their origins and this can be found in the important work about them... You can involve "They migrated from western Montana southward into the Rocky Mountains in Colorado in the 17th and 18th centuries, and finally into the Southern Plains by the early 19th century. In 1867, the Kiowa moved to a reservation in southwestern Oklahoma" and "The Kiowas had a well structured tribal government like most tribes on the Northern Plains. They had a yearly Sun Dance gathering and an elected head-chief who was considered to be a symbolic leader of the entire nation" from the work about Kiowa in your work.
 * Circumstances: The work lacks from a detailed description of the deals from 23 October 1902 to 05 January 1903... You can add some information about what happened in that period with further important details about the judgement days.
 * History: You did not mention if Melville Fuller, John M. Harlan, David J. Brewer, Henry B. Brown, George Shiras, Jr., Edward D. White, Rufus W. Peckham, Joseph McKenna and Oliver W. Holmes, Jr. had made some judgements about Indians in their past. This is very important.
 * The last part: You can involve what happened to Lone Wolf in the last part "Following the loss in court, Lone Wolf returned to the KCA reservation where he was still looked to for leadership by his fellow tribe members and he lived with his family on his allotment until his death in 1923. In the 1920s, after the loss of Lone Wolf's case in the Supreme Court, the Kiowa Indians went to Congress seeking legislation to help them. In 1955 the Indian Claims Commission awarded the Kiowa, Comanche and Apache tribes over 2 million dollars in additional compensation for the land allotted in the Act of 1900" just existing in the work about Lone Wolf. You can also expand the work about Lone Wolf by including details from your work about Lone Wolf v. Hitchcock. You can involve this part from Kiowa "Since 1968, the Kiowa have been governed by the Kiowa Tribal Council, which preside over business related to health, education, and economic and industrial development programs. On March 13, 1970, the Constitution and Bylaws of the Kiowa Tribe of Oklahoma was drafted. On May 23, 1970, it was ratified by voters of the Kiowa Tribe and remain in force. In 1998, a significant legal development occurred with a landmark decision. In Kiowa Tribe of Oklahoma v Manufacturing Technologies, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Indian tribes retain their sovereign immunity from suit without their consent even in off-reservation transactions where they do not waive that immunity. As of 2000, over 4,000 of 12,500 Kiowa lived near the towns of Anadarko, Fort Cobb, and Carnegie, in Caddo and Kiowa counties, Oklahoma. Kiowas also reside in urban and suburban communities throughout the United States. World War II rekindled the Kiowa warrior spirit and urbanization and modernization occurred in the war's aftermath. Each year Kiowa veterans commemorate the warlike spirit of the 19th century leaders with dances performed by the Kiowa Gourd Clan and Kiowa Black Leggings Warrior Society. Kiowa cultural identity and pride is apparent in their expressive culture and strong influence on the Gourd Dance and southern plains art" as the indirect results of the Lone Wolf v. Hitchcock.

Thank you very much for posting your work for the PR.

Yours Sincerely,

--Csisc (talk) 12:31, 30 May 2015 (UTC)

Thanks. Addressing your comments.
 * First, the article is already a GA and has been since Feb. 2014.
 * The article is about the court case, and I don't believe that expanding the background serves the purpose of the article. Further information on how the tribe operates is provided in a link to that tribe's article.
 * The only thing that happened between oral arguments and the decision being issued is that the judges were deliberating in secret.
 * Prior decisions of the Justices are not relevant to the article, plus it would be OR.
 * I'm sorry, I appreciate that you want to help, but writing featured articles (FA) really takes a certain expertise. I would recommend that you continue to do peer reviews for GA or regular articles, write some articles and take them to GA status, and watch the FA review pages. Thanks,  GregJackP   Boomer!   06:52, 31 May 2015 (UTC)