Wikipedia:Peer review/Lupin III/archive2

Lupin III
This peer review discussion has been closed. Lupin III underwent a Good Article reassessment last year and was retained following several fixes. Now, with the article being well-sourced, expanded, and very stable, I would like to know the opinion of fellow wikipedians on what else needs to be done to further improve this article. If this review goes well, I believe it would be time to finally nominate Lupin III as a featured article.
 * Previous peer review

Thanks, AutoGyro (talk) 17:04, 25 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Comments from Jappalang

Lede
 * "... criticized for language ..."
 * In what sense?


 * "For several years, issues relating to the copyright of Maurice Leblanc's intellectual property meant that the Lupin name was removed from releases outside of Japan. However the copyright has now expired, allowing foreign releases to use the Lupin name."
 * This seems quite wrong. You cannot copyright a name.  You can copyright the physical appearance/design or writings of the character, but not his name.  What we have here is more of a trademark infringment and that is a separate matter from copyright.  Furthermore, if we believe this to be a copyright issue, note that France's copyright law bestows a 70-year pma copyright.  As Leblanc died in 1941, that means the copyright of his works is persisting until 2012 (1941 + 70 + 1).
 * Frankly, what makes the source http://www.lupinencyclopedia.com/manga reliable? It is a fansite and the only source for its information is a forum post?  The errors in the information sourced from this fansite makes it seem even more unreliable.

Plot
 * Although I heard that Plot sections are assumed to be sourced to the subject itself, I think it might be help to cite the information (with the subject) to head off any concerns about unsourced information.

Production
 * "However Monkey Punch did not ask permission to use the character's name, leading to eventual copyright issues with the Leblanc estate."
 * Again it is not the use of a name. It is the plagiarism of a character, his personality, history, and such (using an artistic creation without permission).  Find a reliable source for information on why such tactics (renaming of characters) are used to avoid plagiarism charges.


 * "Monkey Punch enjoys writing outlaw characters, and both Lupin III and Pinky Punky made use of outlaws as central characters."
 * Tense consistency.


 * "Monkey Punch enjoys puzzles and mysteries such as Columbo and Agatha Christie novels, and was also inspired by The Three Musketeers."
 * Again.


 * "The appeal of drawing Lupin comes from being able to go anywhere without obstacles and being able to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. However, this is contrasted by the appeal of Zenigata's strict personality"
 * Monkey Punch can "go anywhere ... to do whatever he wants ..."? I think these two sentences could be rewritten to clearly state why Monkey Punch wants to draw these characters.


 * "... but due to its popularity, Monkey Punch continued to draw it. However, despite his happiness at its success, he has expressed confusion over its popularity."
 * This clause and following sentence should be rewritten with greater clarity. Some more information can help it out.  How popular was the series in those three months of release?  Why should confusion over its popularity be disruptive to his happiness (are such emotions related)?

Manga
 * "Tokyopop licensed the second series, and released the first 9 volumes between September 2004 and July 2007, Tokyopop later chose not to relicense the series due to low sales."
 * Is there supposed to be a comma in front of the second Tokyopop? By "[choosing] not to relicense the series", does it mean they cancelled printing the series after the ninth volume or what?  Is the "low sales" referring to the first series or second series?

Pilot film
 * "... TMS Entertainment and Toho produced a Lupin III anime film adaptation featuring Lupin wearing a red jacket outfit."
 * Please read User:Tony1/Noun_plus_-ing; this applies to all such constructions in the article.


 * "... but the voice cast was different, with only Kiyoshi Kobayashi and Eiko Masuyama, voicing Daisuke Jigen and Fujiko Mine respectively, in both versions."
 * The number of commas in this clause make this a very difficult read. It is strange too; the voice cast is different in both versions with only two voice actors or what?


 * "By the time the pilot was completed in 1969, because of budget concerns and other problems between Toho and TMS, the film was never released in theaters."
 * Rearrange the clauses; right now, it is quite disconcerting in this order.

Television series
 * Rather than writing a chronological credit list of famed animators/artists involved with this series, what impact/substantial contribution did they have on the series?

Films
 * "Because the pilot anime film was never released in theaters, the first Lupin III theatrical feature was a live-action movie produced in 1974 during the hiatus between the first and second television series."
 * This phrasing is wrong. It suggests that because the pilot was never released, they produced a live-action movie.

Television specials
 * I seriously think not many of us would like to read " was broadcast on XX YYY ZZZZ" a hundred times in a row. What significance are of these titles?  How did they affect the direction of the franchise?  Were they popular with the fans?  Did they cause any controversies?

Video games
 * Practically the same problem as above: this is a listing of video game adaptations. There is no context for why each title was significant.  Listing them in prose without commentary of their impact or importance to the franchise makes a dull read.

Soundtracks
 * Better in terms of prose, but still the same problem as the two subsections above. So what if there were soundtracks?

Reception
 * Again check the facts (and get reliable sources) for the duration of LeBlanc's copyright and the Western publishers' attempts to avoid plagiarism charges.


 * "The Lupin III franchise still remains popular in Japan;"
 * Possible imprecise language: best to find a way to cast this in an encylopaedic light; furthermore, it is the manga that is rated as Top 50, not the franchise.


 * As for the rest, I think it is quite messy at the moment. It appears that reviewer quotes are collected and used here without much organisation.  Look for common points among the critical content; understand what made this franchise special and use those comments by the reviewers to back up a summarised view of those features.

Sources
 * Lupin Encyclopedia is quite heavily used here, but as stated in the concerns over how the plagiarism issue is addressed, its reliability is of big concern. What makes this source reliable?  Please read Wikipedia Signpost/2008-06-26/Dispatches and Wikipedia Signpost/2008-07-28/Dispatches.  The contents of these two dispatches are often used to evaluate the reliability of sources at FAC.

Images
 * File:Lupin Manga 1.jpg
 * The FUR is really skimpy here and would be better beefed up; key questions that should be answered by the FUR are why should this particular image (and not posters or other manga covers) be used to identify the series, how does seeing this cover identify the series for the reader, etc.

I am not enamoured with several single-sentence paragraphs (or the appearance of very short paragraphs against big chunky paragraphs); the content should be reorganised. Also most of the subsections in Media turn out to be simple production listings; these should have been describing the impact such products had on the franchise, be it changes to the direction of the franchise or notable events. One of the biggest obstacle to FA would be the reliance on Lupin Encyclopedia, a site of unknown quality. Jappalang (talk) 02:36, 30 August 2010 (UTC)