Wikipedia:Peer review/M-28 Business (Ishpeming–Negaunee, Michigan)/archive1

M-28 Business (Ishpeming–Negaunee, Michigan)

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because at some future point, I'm contemplating a FAC nomation for the article. This would be the first article on a business loop to go to FAC, and part of a future Feature Topic/Good Topic based on M-28. I'm looking for copy editing and other suggestions from a wider audience at this point.

Thanks, Imzadi1979 (talk) 02:18, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

Quick comment: Any chance of changing the name to something a bit less tortuous - and which signifies what the article is actually about? Like, for example, "M28 Business Route (Michigan)"? Brianboulton (talk) 23:13, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Well, I'm open to suggestions... but the city names must remain... there is an article for the former BUS M-28 in Newberry, Michigan. The naming convention for Michigan highways is M-## (Michigan highway), and the one for other business loops is like U.S. Route 41 Business (Marquette, Michigan) or Interstate 75 Business (St. Ignace, Michigan). All suggestions are welcome. Imzadi1979 (talk) 04:37, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is well-written and interesting, but I have a couple of suggestions for possible expansion. The details about the high school and the pedestrian refuge area are good. More of this sort of thing would be good too, if available. Readers tend to remember details that distinguish one bit of pavement from the next. I have a few suggestions about prose and Manual of Style issues as well.

Lead
 * "It is one of three business loops for M-numbered highways in the state of Michigan." - Delete "the state of"? Also, what are the other numbering conventions for business highways in Michigan besides M? BUS US, yes. Anything else? Could a business loop be something else such as a BUS Z or a BUS C? How many business loops of all sorts does Michigan have? Are they ranked by length? If so, how does this one rank? What is the purpose of a business loop? Working some material about this into the "Route description" section is a possibility for expansion that might help meet the "comprehensive" requirement for an FA.

Route description
 * "In Negaunee, the routing uses County Road east from the city line." - Does County Road have a number?
 * "On Lakeshore Drive in Ishpeming, MDOT... " - Spell out and abbreviate on first use, thus: Michigan Department of Transportation (MDOT), and wikilink? It's done this way on second use in the "History" section, but the extra stuff just needs to be moved up to the first instance.

History
 * "The business loop would not be designated BUS M-28 permanently until 1958." - "was" rather than "would be"?
 * "This routing was moved to bypass the city in 1964 when mining activity... " - What kind of mining? Mining for what?
 * "Previously, it ran along Greenwood Street and North Lake Road meeting US 41/M-28 in the West Ishpeming neighborhood of Ishpeming Township." - "and met" rather than "meeting"?
 * "The project budgeted $120,200 with $24,200 from the City of Negaunee (equivalent to $134,444 and $27,068 respectively in 2009)." - I'd suggest rounding the equivalents to the nearest hundred to match the precision level of the original figures. Since these sorts of conversions tend to be squishy because they depend on how the government or central bank calculates inflation, it might be safer to use "about $120,000 with about $24,000 from the City of Negaunee... " and then round to the nearest thousand.

Images and captions
 * Both images overlap multiple sections. MOS:IMAGES says "Images should be inside the section they belong to... ".
 * Does the highway go by city hall? If so, I'd suggest adding that to the main text. If not, how does the city hall photo help the reader understand the article? This leads to another suggestion for possible expansion. What are the main buildings along the route? You mention the high school, streetscaping, and a "pedestrian refuge area". Would a photo of any those be more illustrative of the text than the city hall photo?
 * The photo of the unusual sign shows a residential area in the background. Is much of BUS M-28 residential? It might be useful to include more detail about what surrounds the highway.
 * "This is a rare sign assembly for a county road used on a state highway. In this case, it points the way to CR 480 from BUS M-28 using a city truck route in Negaunee." - I found this a bit confusing at first. Suggestion: "A rare sign assembly with information about a county road and a state highway points the way from BUS M-28 to CR 480 via a city truck route in Negaunee." Or something like that.
 * Is this county road in the caption the same as the one identified earlier in the text as County Road?

References
 * "1 in:15 mi/1 cm:9 km" - I'm not sure what the map conventions are, but the WP convention is generally to spell out the primary units. My inclination is to spell them all in this situation and replace the colon with an equal sign; thus: 1 inch = 15 miles; 1 centimeter = 9 kilometers. That's just my hunch. I can't point to a guideline that says to do it this way, although there might be one somewhere in the catacombs.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 19:05, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Some replies to questions.
 * County Road is the name. It's actually either a state highway (BUS M-28) or a city street. Odd name, but that's what it is called. County Road 480 is a separate, county-maintained roadway.
 * The other names for business loops in Michigan are Business Loop Interstate # (BL I-#) and the matching Business Spur Interstate # (BS I-#). For US Highways, US # Business Route (BUS US #) and for other state trunklines, M-# Business Route (BUS M-#). MDOT will use alternate forms on internal documents that look like I-#BL, I-#,BS, US-#BR and M-#BR. The difference between a business loop and a business spur is that a loop connects to the "parent highway" on both ends and a spur connects on only one end.
 * There are currently 58 signed business routes in Michigan. I could compile a chart quickly to compare their lengths.
 * Other suggestions are appreciated. I'll work on the suggested copy edits, and seek out some of the research along the expansion suggestions provided. Imzadi1979 (talk) 01:01, 19 June 2009 (UTC)