Wikipedia:Peer review/Mami Kawada/archive2

Mami Kawada
This peer review discussion has been closed. It's been two years since the last peer review, and since then, the article finally reached B-class. Given that Kawada is my favorite J-Pop singer, I have worked hard on the article through the years, and now I'm planning on revising the article more and eventually nominating it for Good Article status, but first I'm seeking suggestions on precisely how the article can be improved. Here are some of my concerns about coverage: Any suggestions for improvement are welcome. Also, everyone is free to make necessary improvements/changes to the article if necessary.
 * Previous peer review
 * Reliable Japanese reviews for music are pretty rare, and this problem is particularly acute for non-mainstream artists. Kawada is an anison artist, which, with a few exceptions, are generally not considered mainstream, and thus, coverage for them is inherently harder to find. Unfortunately, this pretty much means that no reviews or comments on Kawada's singles and albums appear to exist. While there are a number of interviews with her, I'm not sure how to incorporate their material into the article, particularly if it has to do with Kawada's style and influences, and it would probably be easier to incorporate them into the articles on her singles and albums rather than in her article.
 * Like a number of non-mainstream Japanese entertainers, Kawada is a relatively private person. For one thing, her age is unknown, and other than her birthplace (Sapporo), and members of her family (a younger brother), little of her personal life is known.
 * I feel that the prose needs a lot of work, particularly when it comes to content and structure.

Thanks, Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 08:16, 9 September 2014 (UTC)

Comment from Noswall59

This genre of music is not an area I know very much about; however, I do have one suggestion for improving the article: an area for expansion would probably be her early life - when was she born, who were her parents, where did she grow up and go to school, do we know anything about her early musical influences or any musical education she received? Of course, I appreciate the obvious problems with her being private, but GA criteria states that an article should address the "main aspects" of a topic - information on the formative years (and certainly on year facts like the birth year) of a person seems to me to be an important aspect of any encyclopaedic biography (as long as it can be reliably sourced etc.) Thanks, --Noswall59 (talk) 12:26, 12 September 2014 (UTC).


 * Thanks for the suggestions. Unfortunately, as I have already mentioned, little of her personal life is known. Though it is known that she has a younger brother, the names of the members of her family members, and their occupations and current statuses, are unknown. She grew up in Sapporo, which can easily be sourced. It's unknown where she went to school or who her early musical influences are (although it is known that her favorite singer is Alanis Morissette, which can be sourced using the old version of her website). However, it is known (and in fact, it is already mentioned in the article) where her music education took place (the Mitsuno Vocal School in Sapporo). Given these problems, what else can I improve on in preparation for for a possible GAR? Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 16:31, 12 September 2014 (UTC)


 * Hi. That's fair enough if information about this period in her life is not available; I do fear that we are missing information about her as a person due to this and it may hold the article back, but, if you can't find the information, then there's nothing you can do about that. As for meeting other GAR criteria: the article seems stable and appears neutral (given the lack of reviews, etc., it remains relatively factual); below are some points you may consider:


 * I've already said that I'm not familiar with this genre and so cannot comment on the reliability of the source's you've used; I will say that most facts and points in the article are references, which is obviously promising (though the first paragraph of the "Linkage" section is not referenced at all).
 * Looking at successful GA articles, such as Ricardo Arjona, it might be worth seeing if you can include a section on her artistic style.
 * The lead is also quite short - perhaps you could summarise her career progression a bit more to give an overview of the topic.
 * There are no images in the article (criteria number 6 for GA is "Illustrated, if possible, by images"). obviously, any images need to comply to the copyright policies.
 * I am not familiar with this topic and so it might be best to hear from other user(s) who are more knowledgeable about the content, but hopefully these will be helpful in the general arrangement of the article. Thanks, --Noswall59 (talk) 11:49, 13 September 2014 (UTC).