Wikipedia:Peer review/Mariano Rivera/archive1

Mariano Rivera

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because… I would like to nominate the article for WP:FA status. I believe the article is very detailed, well-referenced, and neutral, but written so a non-baseball fan can understand the article. But I would like to get feedback before I proceed with the WP:FA nomination. Thanks, Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 14:20, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Giants2008 comments - I'm a Yankees fan, so it's very hard for me to review this objectively. That said, I see a few things that can be improved before an FAC nomination. The main point to pay attention to above is the need for a copy-edit, preferably by an editor unfamiliar with the article. Somebody who is not a baseball fan would be even better, at least in terms of catching baseball jargon that readers may not understand. Best of luck.  Giants2008  ( 17-14 ) 01:14, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
 * The only sources I would question are Baseball Almanac, The Baseball Cube and Beyond the Boxscore.
 * Everything removed except Beyond the Boxscore, which provides a good data collection to back up his pitch speed, and is used as a supplementary reference in its only other usage. Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 14:41, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Reference 72 is a bare newspaper citation. The New York Daily News archives are now online, so it should be possible to find a link for this story.
 * Printed reference publishers (such as USA Today and the Sporting News) should be in italics, while non-printed publishers shouldn't be. I saw three refs that need italics removed.
 * Early life has an uncited quote. Just re-use the reference at the end of the paragraph.
 * Reference 98 should be formatted like the book reference it is. I have the paperback version of the book; ping me if you need a page number or other help doing this.
 * The most important factor at FAC is the quality of the prose. As an FAC regular, I know this better than anyone, and I also know that good copy-editing is vital for any featured article candidate to be successful. Here are several examples of what will be required at FAC:
 * "In 1990, a 20 year-old Rivera". Missing hyphen.
 * Comma after Herb Raybourn.
 * Spell out miles per hour. Also give full names of a couple of these minor league teams.
 * One thing that will be considered baseball jargon is the blown save. I fear that my fellow FAC reviewers will see that as showing a negative point of view toward Rivera, when in reality it's a common baseball term. Wish we had an article to link to, but no seperate blown save article exists. Perhaps you should consider linking to a section of the save article.
 * There is no section in the save (baseball) article dedicated to a blown save, so I'm not sure I can wikilink "blown save" like that. I did, however, have the save (baseball) article linked to only a few words later, so hopefully that is good enough. Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 14:41, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * The bit about Enter Sandman seems like thrown-in trivia right now. It needs to have more context, namely how it became part of his identity as a closer.
 * POV concern: "However, Rivera's year ended with one of his most disappointing moments".
 * Not sure how to rephrase this without minimalizing the importance of that moment. Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 14:41, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Organization comment: I'd like to see the Personal life section moved above the tables.
 * Is there any more information out there on his early life? It would be helpful if such info exists to flesh out the section.
 * Thanks for all the help! Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 14:41, 27 April 2009 (UTC)