Wikipedia:Peer review/Mark Speight/archive2

Mark Speight

 * Previous peer review
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed. This has just had a failed candidacy for featured article status. I would like feedback so that when I take it back to FAC in a few weeks, it will go a lot more smoothly, without people bringing up big issues on the second to last day.

Thanks, -- how do you turn this on  12:00, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

Giggy

 * shrug; I disagree with this but it's not a big deal
 * Jbmurray, who went through the whole article, removing apparent plagiarism, would be the one to speak to here. I actually agree with the quote anyhow. Partying is the exact wording used by Speight. -- how do you turn this on  16:50, 7 October 2008 (UTC)


 * "Speight was questioned by police since he was the only other person living in the flat, and the BBC cancelled the Saturday repeat edition of SMart" - he was questioned because the BBC cancelled an episode? That's how it reads.
 * "but he was released on bail" - remove the "he" (keep an eye out for little things like this)
 * Another little thing to keep an eye out for
 * Someone else changed all of those. I had it as Collins' too. -- how do you turn this on  16:58, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * FWIW, Collins's is right; Collins' is wrong. --jbmurray (talk • contribs) 19:33, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

Hope these help. Giggy (talk) 12:25, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * "and that she had suffered 60% burns to her body" - were these as a result of the drugs/alcohol, or something else?
 * Oh, wait, you mention hot water next sentence. Probably should mention it before you mention the burns.
 * That whole paragraph could be resorted a bit so it's more logically sequenced.
 * "after he had been dropped off at Wood Green tube station that morning, but never showed up" - maybe end the sentence before this, then have a new one with "Despite being dropped off at Wood Green tube station he never showed up"
 * "Speight missed her because she was not home when he called" - rather than throw in a "her" without making it clear the counsellor was a woman, reword this entire sentence

David
Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs ( talk ) 13:03, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

There is an overuse of non-free images! The first image conveys nothing that the second image doesn't and should be removed per WP:NFCC minimal use. Efforts should be made to get a free image from his ex-agent/publicist/TV company/Flikr. If a non-free image needs to be used, then a fair use rationale should be added per WP:NFCC 10c Fasach Nua (talk) 13:58, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * I contacted the Speight of the Art foundation but they've yet to get back to me. I very, very much doubt the BBC would provide a free photo, and flickr simply doesn't have any (and the one it does has, the owner has refused to release rights on it, which is a real shame, but nothing I can do about). I will, however, remove the second photo. -- how do you turn this on  15:23, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * I replaced the first photo with the second one, since the second one is more descriptive, showing him actually doing some of his work. -- how do you turn this on  15:27, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * I would have kept the second one over the first too, and approaching the foundation seems a sensible step Fasach Nua (talk) 10:28, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Flickr had nothing last time I checked (during the FAC). Giggy (talk) 10:32, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * And Image:SeeitSawitBBC.jpg needs an expanded FURG. Giggy (talk) 10:33, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Well, if you could say what needs adding, I'd be very grateful. -- how do you turn this on  16:16, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

I got a response from the Speight of the Art foundation, who said they'd be happy to provide a free image as long as they are attributed. So I'm just waiting for them to send me the image, so I can then get it verified through OTRS. -- How do you turn this on (talk) 15:14, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

Escape Artist Swyer
A bit unsure what I'm doing here but hey.


 * "Still, some parents criticised..." under "Death and legacy" is weaselly.


 * I know I've said this before but could you include a bit more on the Newsround reports? There were two - the CBBC news update here and the full Newsround report here. Maybe there is a text version of some of Kirsten's comments from the interview that could be included?
 * No, I can't include YouTube links. They're copyvios. -- how do you turn this on  18:22, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * You can cite to it however. the editorofthewiki (talk/contribs/editor review) 00:02, 9 October 2008 (UTC)


 * The Daily Mail is not known for its balanced reporting and its love for the BBC; I would be wary of its glaring headline. Perhaps take it with a pinch of salt. Is there another source you could use? Preferably one that doesn't quote the DM's "sick and appalled" stance. This from the BBC itself looks like a good explanation of actions.


 * Otherwise, good. It just seems a bit short to be honest. I know most people know him for his tragic death but there must surely be a lot more to write about SMart: perhaps descriptions of some of the art and attitudes towards getting kids into art. This is what he is commendable for.


 * "Speight worked on numerous other shows, ranging from children's television to adult factual programmes". Call me thick but it isn't obvious which of the programmes listed were art shows, children's shows, factual shows, etc. Oh and did he and Collins get married in fancy dress? It's left hanging.

More if I think of any. -- Escape Artist Swyer Talk Contributions 18:16, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

Dweller
I thought it was pretty good, but just needed some fine-tuning by an uninvolved copyeditor. --Dweller (talk) 10:07, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks. It did have several people copyedit it though, which was why I thought that suggestion wasn't particularly useful. -- how do you turn this on  12:31, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Sorry. I'm surprised. --Dweller (talk) 12:43, 10 October 2008 (UTC)