Wikipedia:Peer review/Matthew Charlton/archive1

Matthew Charlton
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I have lifted it to GA status and would like to raise it to A or FA status.

Thanks, Littleteddy (roar!) 12:24, 10 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments from
Hey, nice article. Some comments which may help elevate it toward A/FA status. I think for A-class you'll need to sort out the above but also expand the article a bit. I hope my comments have helped a bit. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:02, 17 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I think WP:LEAD would recommend around three paragraphs in the lead. I don't particularly like single sentence paragraphs, like the opening sentence of the lead, so consider merging the five paras you have there now into three.
 * Link Victoria in the lead.
 * "in getting Australia to adopt " reads a little clumsily to me...
 * Personal thing, but I would split Lambton, New South Wales into Lambton, New South Wales and add (NSW) afterwards so the acronym is well understood by the non-Australian readers.
 * You've linked the Australian Labor Party twice in the lead, no need for that.
 * I think the article, in general, is too segmented by the section headings. The sections themselves are relatively short so could be merged (with appropriate renaming of section headings).
 * Don't think you need the Australian Labor Party as a See also as well!