Wikipedia:Peer review/Matthias Corvinus/archive1

Matthias Corvinus
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because it has just gone through a major restructuring and expansion and it clearly needs some improvement before GAN.

Thanks, Borsoka (talk) 13:16, 23 July 2014 (UTC)

Copyediting comments. - Dank (push to talk)
 * "He began reigning under his uncle's guardianship, but he took the reins": reigning -> his rule
 * "Matthias strengthened his rule after a 5-year-long period of struggle.": I'd delete this topic sentence, since I didn't know what "strengthened his rule" meant until I read the paragraph.
 * "In order to increase royal revenues, Matthias introduced new taxes and regularly collected extraordinary taxes.": Delete "In order to increase royal revenues"; that's implied.
 * "Matthias overcome their rebellion": ... overcame ...
 * "an important Ottoman border fort on in 1476.": ... fort, in 1476.
 * "one of the largest collection": ... collections
 * "the first country which adopted": the first country to adopt
 * "the monarch wandering among his subjects": the monarch who wandered among his subjects
 * I got down to the end of the lead. The prose is engaging. - Dank (push to talk) 01:38, 29 July 2014 (UTC)
 * }, thank you for your time and comments. I modified the lead. Borsoka (talk) 02:34, 29 July 2014 (UTC)