Wikipedia:Peer review/Metamorphosis (Hilary Duff album)/archive1

Metamorphosis (Hilary Duff album)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I have been working pretty hard on it on and off for a while and feel as if it's almost ready for a GA nomination, but it's not quite there yet. I'd really appreciate your comments on improvements that can be made.

Thanks you! ℥nding · start 05:27, 5 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Also, I am aware there are several dead links. I am working on finding replacements for them. ℥nding · start 05:27, 5 August 2011 (UTC)


 * HJ comments

Right, I've glanced over this and made a few edits. While I've posted a few specific concerns below, I don't think I can make much progress in copy-editing until there is some copy to edit. The article as it is is just one long daisy chain of quotes, strung together with the odd connective or sentence fragment. I hate to be so negative but, as it is, the prose isn't even up to GA standards. HJ Mitchell &#124;  Penny for your thoughts?   01:27, 8 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Opening sentences of the background section need re-writing. I copy-edited them to the extent that they make sense, but it's not good prose atm.
 * During the same period,—during what period?
 * Who is Andre Recke?
 * "I want to do this so bad"—can we paraphrase this instead of including such an inarticulate quote?
 * who was popular with preteens at the time because of her role in the popular Disney Channel original series Lizzie McGuire—you need to elaborate on her acting earlier
 * Don't space emdashes.