Wikipedia:Peer review/Metroid Prime/archive1

Metroid Prime
I've done most of the work in this article, and some time ago it got the GA status. Now I need to know what's needed in order to reach the FA. igordebraga ≠ 18:20, 27 March 2007 (UTC)

JimmyBlackwing
Some general suggestions:
 * Footnotes come after punctuation -- [[image:Yes check.svg|20px]] done.
 * The article could use a copyedit. Particularly, the use of parentheses needs to be cut back.-- [[image:Yes check.svg|20px]] done., unless you give more examples to cleanup
 * Having a spoiler warning for the entire article is usually not a good idea. A spoilers tag is basically a "stop reading now" sign. -- [[image:Yes check.svg|20px]] done.
 * Full dates are generally internally linked. For example, March 27, 2007 becomes "March 27, 2007". Also, it's better to use the most specific dates possible.
 * The article needs more references. 32 for a subject like Metroid Prime is too few, if your goal is featured status. --added little more
 * Try to avoid repeating information. For example, the article gives me a detailed description the game's beginning in two separate sections: Plot and Locations. -- [[image:Yes check.svg|20px]] done.
 * Avoid cruft at all costs. Large amounts of unnecessary information weigh down even the best written articles.

Specific suggestions:
 * In the header, it tells me that Metroid Prime has sold over 250,000 copies. However, in Reception, it tells me that the game is "one of the best-selling games on the GameCube, with about 1.49 million copies sold in the United States alone". Selling 1.49 in one country is better material for the header than "over 250,000 copies have been sold". Remember, the header is meant to be asummary of the article's most important elements. Also, if possible, it would be a good idea to add the number of copies sold worldwide. -- I searched for the worldwide data very much, and I only found it on a website that isn't considered reliable. I don't know if I add the low Japan figures, but I added Australia, and changed the lead.
 * The plot section needs to be rewritten into a more out-of-universe style. -- [[image:Yes check.svg|10px]] done, unless you can add another way to reduce in-universe.
 * You should probably convert the "Sequels" section into prose. Bulleted lists are usually a bad idea. - [[image:Yes check.svg|20px]] done.
 * I hate to break it to you, but this article has a fair amount of original research. For example: "Most of the items from previous Metroid games make appearances here; however, the functions of many of them have been altered to suit the 3D environment". I recommend carefully scanning the article and getting rid of sentences like these. If possible, rewrite and cite them - [[image:Yes check.svg|20px]] done.
 * Many statements in the article require citations, but do not have them. For example: "Although the previous Metroid games' soundtracks were composed by "Hip" Tanaka, Kenji Yamamoto assisted by Kouichi Kyuma composed the music for Metroid Prime." Please locate citations for sentences like this. If you need to get your hands on some magazine references, WikiProject Video games/Magazines could be of help.

Good luck! JimmyBlackwing 20:03, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

Anyone else can help? igordebraga ≠ 16:11, 8 April 2007 (UTC)

Clyde
Jim's still got a few things that need to be cleared up, and it's looking really good, but I found a couple things...


 * What is "ando"?-- [[image:Yes check.svg|20px]] done.
 * If you plan on FA, it's not too far out to out to ask for at least one citation per paragraph. Paragraphs that are missing at least one are: First paragraph in gameplay (the second one could use some more too), the first two paragraphs of story, all of locations, bonuses, and a couple in sequels. -- on the way - how to do with events whose only reference is the game itself? Unlike other FA's such as MGS and all the Final Fantasy ones, there is no dialogue for refs...
 * Sequels is a little bit of an awkward name choice. Most articles I see have the name legacy, but it's up to you. -- [[image:Yes check.svg|20px]] done.
 * The reception section is a little light with criticism. I know it's a little hard to find, but I found some with Game Informer if you need it (mostly more in depth about control choice, but I have some direct quotes).-- [[image:Yes check.svg|20px]] done.

--Clyde (talk) 00:44, 10 April 2007 (UTC)