Wikipedia:Peer review/Metroid Prime: Trilogy/archive1

Metroid Prime: Trilogy
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to receive suggestions on how to improve it. Gary King ( talk ) 05:14, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I think the article is pretty much stuck as is until the game is released later this month. Then we'll have full details on enhancements plus some proper reception. - sesu  PRIME  18:09, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I looked over the article and did some minor adjustments, just to make it read a little better. I'm not sure how you want to handle this, so I left it for you to fix as you like.  "Metroid Prime: Trilogy is an action-adventure compilation video game" is kind of a mouthful.  Is there any way to cut down on the adjectives?  I usually try to dissect the sentence and pull out the descriptors--try to redistribute some of the adjectives into other sentences so that the meaning is retained while making the article easier to read and understand.  Also, under the "Overview" heading, you refer to the games as "Prime," "Prime 2," "Prime 3."  This is easy to understand... but I probably would abstain from this in my own writing.  Is it obnoxious to write the whole thing out?  It may be appropriate to do so seeing that this is an e-encyclopedia, but seek other opinions.  Or if you hate the suggestion, ignore it.  I don't think the semicolon in the last sentence of "Overview" really works.  Semicolons separate two related, yet independent clauses.  The reading is kind of awkward--perhaps reorganize the first clause to place "Metroid 3" closer to the second clause, increasing the relevancy of the second clause.  Or, you could just eliminate the semicolon and write a new sentence, increasing the "flowability."  I suggest writing a new sentence, while still rewording the first clause... de-awkwardify it.  Finally... I think the "Reception" section needs a little work.  "Reviewers have been positively anticipating the release" is not a phrase you would find in a standard encyclopedia.  I suggest only using raw statistics--your claim is not really provable.  The second sentence in this heading is better, as it lists a fact, but does anyone know about Shui Ta or Examiner.com?  I don't, personally.  It is a good article, but it could use some work if you want it to reach featured status.  If you want to increase the length, see if you can find some more solid facts from reputable sources.  Perhaps seek a Gamestop or IGN review.   Look for polls and surveys.  Good luck!--Jp07 (talk) 22:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Alright I've made a few fixes; it should be better now. I'll keep looking for useful sources, although there won't be too many until the compilation is actually released. Gary King  ( talk ) 23:55, 9 August 2009 (UTC)


 * I'm not sure it's notable enough to warrant its own article. It's a minorly updated re-release; why shouldn't the important details just be split into the existing Metroid Prime articles? I can't really see it getting much bigger than it is, as Development, Gameplay and Plot all overlap with those articles. Reception will likely be minimal, as is usually the case with re-releases. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 00:48, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Here's the relevant discussion: Wikipedia_talk:WikiProject_Video_games/Archive_69 Gary King  ( talk ) 02:17, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks. I don't know how to restart archived discussions on Wikipedia, but it seems that back then there was a near-unanimous consensus that it shouldn't exist. I don't know why it's here now, in that case, but since this has already been discussed, and I don't know how to revive it, I'll just drop it and leave you to your peer review. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 04:58, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Here's a source from Nintendo if you can get anything out of it. | Metroid Prime Trilogy --Jp07 (talk) 17:25, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I get a "HTTP Status 500" error on that page. Gary King  ( talk ) 19:06, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I fixed that link on the previous posting--I think I formatted wrong, sorry. Try it now.  Also, here's another Nintendo link--not sure if you've looked at this yet or not:  | Metroid Prime Trilogy Web Site. --Jp07 (talk) 02:38, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nevermind... I actually looked at the article and I think you've used both of them. --Jp07 (talk) 02:47, 12 August 2009 (UTC)