Wikipedia:Peer review/Metroid Prime 3: Corruption/archive1

===Metroid Prime 3: Corruption===

This peer review discussion has been closed. I am looking for any kinds of suggestions and advice to help get this article to GA status, or improve its overall quality.

Thanks,  ShadowJester07  ►Talk  23:19, 22 March 2008 (UTC) :Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Wikipedia:Peer review/Metroid Prime 3: Corruption/archive1.


 * Only looked briefly. The plot needs sourcing. Often IGN/GameSpot have game guides for this, or you can use a GameFAQs walkthrough to get game dialogue (if you don't have the game) and source based on this. Might do a full review later - leave me a note on my talk if you'd like me to. dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 10:28, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

dihydrogen monoxide
As requested. First of all, I looked briefly at a few of these but couldn't find any dialogue. If you check each of them, I'm sure you'll find something eventually! dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 00:02, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * "is a video game" - what vg genre? Infobox says First-person action-adventure - mention that here too
 * "Unlike its predecessors, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption features a control system based on the Wii Remote and Nunchuk." - that's because the others weren't on Wii. Mention controller, but don't make the comparison
 * Wow. Graphics look good. (No, nothing actionable here!)
 * Some reviewers (especially around FAC, which this could aim for) will want to see a ref at the end of every paragraph. 1st in gameplay, for instance, doesn't have one
 * "other new gameplay features as well "
 * "and can be sent to friends, and can only be sent within the Wii system, as there are no ways to transfer the pictures to a computer." (eek!...sorry :) --> "and can be sent to friends via the Wii system" (I think that says everything)
 * "during their ongoing with the" - missing a word?
 * "when the game is complete." - is --> was
 * Second paragraph of the Development section needs citations for the voice actors
 * "noted about Corruption compared to the rest of the franchise that players have "never played it this way before"" - I'm not sure how to reword this because I'm not sure what it's saying...but yeah, it's quite choppy
 * "Declared" is used a fair bit in the last Development paragraph...can you use some other words too
 * I generally mention Game Rankings/Metacritic scores first in reception, but others don't. Something to think about...
 * I don't see a reference for the Nintendo Power review?
 * Or X-Play?
 * Also, these refs should appear in the review scores box

Comments from
Some comments on an already good article... That should help it on its way to GA. Good luck! The Rambling Man (talk) 08:07, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * "Reception to Metroid Prime " - "reception of...?"
 * Avoid squashing text between, say, images and infoboxes.
 * "3D" - "three dimensional"...
 * "Samus Aran " - make it clear this is the lead character.
 * Link Game Boy Advance
 * "(For example, the Nova Beam retains the properties of the Power and Plasma Beams.) " flow into previous sentence and remove parentheses.
 * Samus's or Samus' - (I prefer the latter) but whatever you choose, be consistent.
 * Link bounty hunter on its first use rather than its second.
 * Ridley links to a disambiguation page.
 * " Metroid Prime 2: Echoes" is linked twice in Development section, not needed.
 * Keep citations in numerical order, you have a [24][1] here.
 * What's PALGN? It isn't linked or cited...
 * IGN overlinked in the Reception section.
 * "As of December 31, 2007" - any chance of a more recent update?
 * You got one dead link when I checked with this.

Comments from
Judgesurreal777 (talk) 15:49, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Make sure all images have very specific rationales, such as exactly what they demonstrate and why they are necessary.
 * Add a sentence about development of the game to the lead to bulk it up.
 * Reference the first paragraph of the gameplay section
 * Reference the characters and plot section
 * Make the development and reception section flow more, now they are a bunch of disconnected sections, they should be made into flowing paragraphs.
 * Copyedit, and you should be all set! Hope that helps