Wikipedia:Peer review/Midnight Rescue!/archive1

Midnight Rescue!
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I'm fairly new to editing pages and don't yet have a good grasp of what exactly is required for a good page. I'm not looking for anything specific, but any information on how I could improve this page beyond "stub" rating would help.

Thanks, Sesamehoneytart (talk) 12:50, 28 March 2011 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: I think I would proably rate this as Start class - seems a bit beyone Stub to me. Thanks for your work on this, here are some suggestions for improvement. *A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. There are many Featured Articles that are on similar games listed at Category:FA-Class video game articles and some of them may be useful models for this article.
 * The current lead does not really follow WP:LEAD and needs to be expanded. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself.
 * As far as expansion goes, my rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but there seems to be very little if anything about Gameplay, Later versions, Music or Receptions in the current lead.
 * Watch WP:OVERLINKing = the general rule is to link articles once in the lead and perhaps once in the body of the article, each at first occurrence. As it is, SPellbound! is linked twice in one section and The Learning Company and the series are linked at least twice in the article body.
 * Do add useful links - so Side-scrolling video game could be linked as a piped version side-scrolling in the first sentence of game play.
 * Awkward As the player completes the game more, his lifetime score will increase. Perhaps soimething like "Each time the player completes the game, his lifetime score increases."
 * Not clear what the notes are here - only time the word notes is used in the article (assume these are referred to in "reading the passages left around the school" - if so, I would say "reading notes left around the school" in the earlier paragraph. At higher ranks, more photographs are required of each robot, the robots will move faster, and some of the notes will not contain clues.
 * The Development section contains very little about the development of the game. Who were the programmers behind it? Why did they decide to make this game?
 * I would combine the first and third paragraphs of the current Super Solvers series section - as it is we are told about the series, then get a description of the passages that need to be read and the questions onthem, then go back to the relation of this game to the series. Always try to keep the focus of each paragraph on the subject of the article. WHy not start this section with something like Midnight Rescue! is the first game in the Super Solvers series..?
 * Article needs more references, for example there are no refs inthe Gameplay section (this may be the style for such game articles) and there are several citation needed tages in the article.
 * My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
 * The External link checker tool in this PR (top right corner) finds one dead external link.
 * Make sure that all sources used as references meet WP:RS
 * Avoid short (one or two sentence) paragraphs as they impede the narrative flow of the article. I would combine the three short paragraphs in later versions into one paragraph.
 * There are awards and ratings in the box that are not in the text - they should be
 * The robot in the screen shot sure does not look like a type of paint brush to me.
 * Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 15:59, 5 April 2011 (UTC)