Wikipedia:Peer review/Moon/archive2

Moon

 * Previous PR: Peer review/Moon/archive1

This page is starting to shape up pretty nicely now, thanks to much work by Lunokhod and others. It has reached GA status, and should be ready for a FAC with some additional work. Could you suggest any changes that will bring this up to FA status? Thank you! &mdash; RJH (talk) 18:35, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Aristotle's division of the world into the sublunar, changable world, and the world above it, that did not change, was so prominent in ancient and medieval accounts of the universe that I think that it should probably be mentioned. The part on mythology is a little weak, as well. Goldfritha 01:21, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
 * In fact, I've added Aristotle myself. Goldfritha 01:33, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Thank you. &mdash; RJH (talk) 15:43, 12 January 2007 (UTC)


 * Sorry I saw this so late, and now I only have time to make some suggestions to the lead, but here they are. In general a lot of the lead is a bit verbose with minor factoids, which makes it longer and more confusing than it needs to be.


 * 1) The average distance from the Earth to the Moon is 384,399 kilometres (238,854 miles), which is about 30 times the diameter of the Earth. could be simplified to On average, the Moon is 384,399 kilometers (238,854 miles) from the Earth.
 * 2) At this distance, it takes sunlight reflected from the lunar surface approximately 1.3 seconds to reach Earth. It's interesting but doesn't tell us anything about the Moon.
 * 3) The Moon's diameter is 3,474 kilometres (2,159 miles),[1] which is about 3.7 times smaller than the Earth, making it the Solar System's fifth largest moon, both by diameter and mass, ranking behind Ganymede, Titan, Callisto, and Io. Oi. Four ideas in five phrases and only one sentence.  Suggestion:  The Moon is about one-third the size of the Earth and has a diameter of 3,474 kilometres (2,159 miles).  It is the fifth largest moon in the solar system behind Ganymede, Titan, Callisto, and Io.
 * 4) The gravitational attraction of the Moon is responsible for the tides on Earth. This doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the paragraph, which is discussing the Moon's physical characteristics.
 * 5) The Soviet Union's (USSR) Luna program was the first to reach the Moon with unmanned spacecraft. Unnecessary because the next two sentences tell us the same thing but in more detail.
 * 6) The United States' Apollo program achieved the first (and only) manned missions to the Moon. Same thing here.
 * 7) The first manned mission to orbit the Moon was Apollo 8 in 1968, and the first people to land and walk on the Moon came aboard Apollo 11 in 1969. The wording of the second phrase is a bit confusing (it seems like they're "climbing aboard Apollo 11", rather than going to the moon on Apollo 11).
 * 8) Half of the lead is about human exploration of the moon, which seems out of proportion with the main part of the article. And there is no mention of the moon's  geology, surface features, or formation, which comprise a large portion of the article.  Perhaps it could be reworked to be a more representative overview.
 * I'll try to get around to reading the rest of the article with some more suggestions soon. Good luck!--Will.i.am 03:42, 14 January 2007 (UTC)