Wikipedia:Peer review/Mortal Kombat: Deception/archive1

Mortal Kombat: Deception

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review as it is one the first video games articles I have worked in and I need some comments. Some doubts I have is how I am handling the reception section, the images and the other things that may be commented in a GA review. This article needs some copy-edit, but I prefer to focus in these part before a copy-edit.

Thanks, Tintor2 (talk) 15:59, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article - I have never played this game, so you have the perfect novice reviewer ;-) . Anyway, here are some suggestions for improvement.
 * Just in the lead, I would make it clearer that this is a video game and that it is the sixth in the Mortal Kombat series, so the first sentence could be something like Mortal Kombat: Deception is a fighting video game developed and published by Midway as the sixth installment in the Mortal Kombat (MK) series.  Notice I added the abbreviation MK here so it is clear what it means when used later.
 * Again for those not familair with the MK series, I would say that Deadly Alliance is the fifth MK game. Having to click on links twice in the first paragraph of the lead shows that more context needs to be provided for the reader - see WP:PCR
 * I don't do copyedits, buit agree this needs one - just in the lead there are missing words  ...a port for the PlayStation Portable, which added new characters to [the] game. or Several parts from Deadly Alliance such as combos, or arenas were redesigned to be more realistic as well [as] more interactive. Try printing it out and reading it out loud slowly to catch missing words like these.
 * The lead seems to be written a bit too much from an in-universe perspective, the plot andcharacters section are even harder to follow if you know nothing about the MK series - see WP:IN-U
 * Watch out for redundancies like There are also instant-death traps, which instantly kill a fighter unlucky enough to fall into them.  this could just be Instant-death traps kill fighters unlucky enough to fall into them.
 * Watch out for WP:JARGON too - what is a combo? It is not even linked that I saw. Or what is a fatality in this The Deception characters have two Fatalities and a hara-kiri suicide move, in contrast to the ones from Deadly Alliance, which had only one fatality.[2] (by the way, be consistent - is it "Fatality" (capital F) or just "fatality"?
 * Add to refs that appear to be the same but are not - for example current refs 29, 30 and 31 are all just "Mortal Kombat: Deception". Metacritic. Retrieved on 2009-02-16."
 * A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow - there are many GA and FA video game articles, see Category:FA-Class video game articles and Category:GA-Class video game articles

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 03:51, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Thanks. I ll be doing the fixes.Tintor2 (talk) 12:46, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Done.Tintor2 (talk) 18:10, 14 May 2009 (UTC)