Wikipedia:Peer review/New York University/archive1

New York University
I've listed this article for peer review because it was just listed as a good article and I'd like more feedback so the article can achieve featured article status. I would like comments and/or contributions on references, pictures, and structure of the article. If you have any other related concerns that would help the article achieve FA status I would love to hear them!

Thanks,

 Noetic  Sage  20:40, 20 September 2007 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR t 01:01, 25 September 2007 (UTC)

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question. You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, APR t 01:00, 25 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), when doing conversions, please use standard abbreviations: for example, miles -> mi, kilometers squared -> km2, and pounds -> lb.[?]
 * When writing standard abbreviations, the abbreviations should not have a 's' to demark plurality (for example, change kms to km and lbs to lb).
 * Per Wikipedia:Context and Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006.[?]
 * Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
 * Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “ All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
 * Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]

Thoughts from JayHenry

 * This article's looking quite good. If you haven't already, I suggest looking at the other university FAs at WP:FA, particularly Georgetown University and Texas A&M University.  Here are some scattered thoughts:
 * I'd like to see clarification of the founding. "The city's landed class of merchants, bankers, and traders" -- all of them?
 * "Many artists and intellectuals such as Edgar Allan Poe, Mark Twain, Herman Melville and Walt Whitman contributed to the artistic scene near NYU. As a result, they had notable interaction with the cultural and academic life of the University." What does this mean? Were they professors?  Did they just walk around the neighborhood?  Have affairs with students?  These are important historical figures so it's okay to take an extra sentence or two about their connection to the school, particularly if their connection lent prestige to the university.  Also in the paragraph below, where it talks about Ginsberg and Dylan.  Did they just live there?  Did they clash with the university about expansion?
 * I think we need a bit more about the history of the university. Anything noteworthy happen after Dylan?
 * "NYU is ranked #1 in Italian, finance, mathematics, and theater" are these graduate programs?  In general, academics needs more flesh.  Look at the other university FAs and see what sections might be good to add here.
 * Tisch is a really important and influential school. You can certainly have a whole paragraph about Tisch, instead of just a sentence.
 * Admissions can be a sub-section of academics.
 * Isn't NYU a particularly liberal and activist-minded campus? If it is, this should be mentioned.
 * I'd lose the bit about "New Ivies" from the lead. This was just a gimmicky-thing used to sell some copies of Newsweek, it's not a term that has any significance.  Dozens and dozens of schools like to boast about the one time they were labeled a "Catholic Ivy" or a "Southern Ivy" or the "Ivy of Boise" or whatever.
 * We mention football in the lead, so it'd be worth saying why they got rid of the team in the 60s. Generally, anything in the lead should be explained further in the article.
 * Why is "the Bun" mentioned in the section on notable faculty?
 * I'll give another read in a couple of days, but those are some ideas on where to work. Don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions.  I'll add this review to my watchlist. --JayHenry 02:59, 25 September 2007 (UTC)