Wikipedia:Peer review/Nocturnal enuresis/archive1

Nocturnal enuresis
This peer review discussion has been closed. Would you please help with a peer review of the nocturnal enuresis (bedwetting) page? Bedwetting is the most common medical complaint in children and is a problem for about 1% of adults. So, while this article's topic may be the subject of jokes, it is a very real problem to many parents, caregivers, and patients. I would like to move the article along the track to GA status, or even Featured Article.

The article has been very stable over the last couple of years. The content follows Manual_of_Style_(medicine-related_articles). (Note that the article includes the appropriate sections from Manual_of_Style_(medicine-related_articles), but does vary in order. This is due to the established nature of the article and in order to better develop concepts and avoid repetition, as per the rules at the start of Manual_of_Style_(medicine-related_articles).)

Thanks in advance for your review and advice.

Wshallwshall (talk) 20:08, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Glad to see an important article being worked on. While this has a lot of good information already, it will need a fair amount of work to better follow the WP:MOS and get to GA, even more to make FA. With those goals in mind, here are some suggestions for improvement. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 04:09, 17 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The article is fairly list-y - it will flow better if most of the lists are converted to regular prose. In some cases, it might also help to convert data to a table in some places - the statistics in the "Frequency of bedwetting (epidemiology)' section, for example.
 * Another way that the flow of the article suffers is through many short (one or two sentence) paragraphs and sections. In most cases these could be combined with other paragraphs or sections, or perhaps expanded.
 * For example, there are very short single sentences on alcohol and caffeine increasing urine production. These could be combined in a single sentence something like "Both alcohol and caffeine are known to increase urine production."
 * There are multiple places that need references - for example the claim that alcohol increases urine production is uncited, or the first three paragraphs of "Normal processes of staying dry" have no refs. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
 * References also need to have more complete information. For example Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. cite web and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
 * Make sure refs are to relaible sources - answers.com is not usually seen as one, for example. See WP:RS
 * Even if the title is ALL CAPS, the Manual of Style says to make it Title Case instead.
 * The section headers do not follow WP:HEAD in several cases. In general the section headers should not repeat the article title (but there is a section titled Primary nocturnal enuresis (PNE) and another on Secondary nocturnal enuresis), and subsection headers should not repeat the section header if possible (or in the Treatment and management options section all the subsections repeat either Treatment or options or sometimes both ).
 * Could an image of the urinary system be added?
 * The use of bold face does not follow WP:ITALIC
 * The article in places treats this as a problem of just children (from the lead Treatment guidelines recommend that the physician counsel the parents, warning about psychological damage caused by pressure, shaming, or punishment for a condition children cannot control.[2]), but in other places it makes it clear this is also a probelm for some adults. Needs to be better about not assuming only a childhood problem.