Wikipedia:Peer review/Now You Know (Desperate Housewives)/archive1

Now You Know (Desperate Housewives)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to get it to GA status, but I believe it needs significant improvement. Also, I am having trouble finding additional sources, particularly for the production and critical reception sections. I can't believe they don't exist, so help in that area would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks, Akcvtt (talk) 07:17, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Having reviewed another Desperate Housewives article recently, I see some of the same issues here. Please see Peer review/Secrets That I Never Want to Know/archive1 and I will make more comments here. Thanks again for your work on an interesting article; here are some suggestions for improvement. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 01:00, 8 November 2011 (UTC)
 * See the other PR for the model article suggestion. This article has no dead links and no dab links - good work!
 * I would include the Filipino controversey in the lead since it has its own section in the article.
 * Be consistent on little things - it is "least watched" in the lead, but "least-watched" in the Viewership and ratings section - does it have a hyphen or not?
 * "Twelve years of absence" sounds odd to my ear - I can see "an absence of twelve years" or "after being absent for twelve years" or "after being away for 12 years" - see The episode also introduces Katherine Mayfair (Dana Delany), Susan's old friend who returns to the neighborhood after twelve years of absence.
 * Also the MOS says to spell out numbers if they are 10 or less, so I think it should be 12 years above
 * I nthe Background section I would refer to the third season (and not "In recent episodes") in ''In recent episodes, Bree Hodge (Marcia Cross) sends her pregnant teenage daughter...
 * Presumably some of the events also took place in the season 3 finale, if so I would link that.
 * Separating Edie's break up and suicide attempt seemed confusing to me. I realize there is also the whole breaking up with Carlos and Carlos with his ex-wife thing. Perhaps just ending the section with something like "The third season finale ended with Edie hanging herself in a suicide attempt." might help (Elsewhere is not clear)
 * Could use a light copyedit. Two examples - she seeks comfort in [with] Carlos, her ex-husband or "in time" seems as if it would be better in ''when Carlos does not show up on time to rescue her, she almost dies
 * Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)