Wikipedia:Peer review/Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr./archive1

===Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.===


 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. Midnightdreary and I have been working on OWH's article in hopes of bringing it through FAC soon. The centennial of Holmes's birth is coming up this August, and the plan is to give the article its gold star in time for it to appear on the mainpage that day. Any and all comments/suggestions that will help us successfully through the trials and tribulations of FAC are welcome. Careful reading of the prose, as well as any information that needs further explanation or detailing, would be especially helpful.

Thanks! María ( habla con migo ) 14:41, 10 May 2009 (UTC) :Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Peer review/Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr./archive1.

Comments by Ssilvers
 * The first sentence lists occupations that are not in the infobox.
 * Blargh, one of the reasons why I dislike infoboxes. Since there are too many to list, I've just removed that field from the box altogether. María ( habla  con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * I don't like infoboxes either. -- Ssilvers (talk) 21:11, 12 May 2009 (UTC)


 * In the second sentence, take out the comma, per Strunk and White.
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)


 * I don't think you need the second sentence of the second paragraph. If he only studied it briefly, it may not be worth mentioning in the Lead.  If you keep it, I would delete the word "Shortly", as I think it is clear without it.
 * Deleted "shortly" for now; not sure if we should lose the aborted law career or not. María ( habla con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)


 * "a young age" How about "an early age"?
 * Much better; changed. María ( habla con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)


 * The next sentence says "under" twice.
 * Reworded. María ( habla con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Long professorship? Long academic career?
 * "professorship" is a word -- does it sound strange? María ( habla con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * It does to me, but no big deal. How many oarsmen do you have on a professorship?  :-)  -- Ssilvers (talk) 21:11, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Depends on the professor, of course! ;) María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Reformations? Reforms?
 * Changed. María ( habla con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Remove the comma after "1882"
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)


 * a magazine that he gave its name...  A magazine that he named?  a magazine to which he gave its name?
 * Used the former suggestion. María ( habla con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Holmes's writing centers around... Holmes's writing used the setting of... or was often set in
 * Changing to "Holmes's writing often commemorated his native Boston area" instead.


 * In the poetry section, you only name three of his poems, and you only name one in the intro. And in the list of works, you don't mention these poems.  If he is famous for his poetry, I would expect more discussion of it.
 * Will work on this. María ( habla con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

I hope this is helpful. I'll be back later to comment further. -- Ssilvers (talk) 18:27, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks! Your time is greatly appreciated. María ( habla  con migo ) 20:13, 12 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Continuing. Early life: "was said to have been where" How about "was said to have been the place where"?
 * Much better; fixed. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * was more acquainted with the history. Do you mean that he knew more about his mother's family than his father's?  If so, who cares?  How about: "Sarah was the daughter of a wealthy family, and Holmes was named for his maternal grandfather, a judge"
 * Haha, good point. Took your suggestion. María ( habla  con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Link "Governor" to Governor (United States), since people outside the US might not be sure what the office is.
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Library... religious works. Is this redundant with the quote?  You could probably end the sentence at "library".
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * ...exposed to POETS... Holmes began to compose... his own VERSE?
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * above average student. Good student?
 * Hm, not sure. "Good", to me, denotes average academic achievements; Holmes was beyond good. María ( habla  con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
 * LOL. I'd say the opposite.  C+ is above average (C), while B is good.  How about "very good" or "talented" or "excelled in school"?  -- Ssilvers (talk) 18:00, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Damn me and my low standards! Changed to "talented". María ( habla  con migo ) 15:13, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * his father enrolled him... Sounds like his mother didn't agree.  How about "he enrolled"?
 * His mother didn't exactly get a say-so, I'm guessing... but changed. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * whose intellect Holmes later admitted that he jealously admired. How about "whose intellect Holmes jealously admired?"  I think it is unsurprising that he admitted it later rather than contemporaneously.  And it is, I think, clear enough that he reported it himself.
 * Yeah, I've struggled with this phrasing somewhat. Changed. María ( habla  con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Education: Third sentence needs a "however" or a "but".
 * Added a "however". María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * dorms: ok to use short form or spell out dormitories?
 * I would guess it's okay, but just to be sure I used the full word. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Seeing as how he... As he or Since he?
 * "Since he" is good. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * ...smoke and talk (. punct)
 * Good catch! Fixed. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * confessed his laziness.. Was he really lazy, or just less studious than his own high standards required?  If unknown, I would simply say ...the young scholar admitted to a schoolmate from Andover that he did not "study as hard as I ought to."
 * Just to be sure there's no conjecture, changed per your suggestion. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Eliminate comma after "languages" and later after "commencement".
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * divided between - more than two, so "divided among".
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * disgruntled with his law studies... "disenchanted with law studies"? "disappointed by"?
 * Since "disenchanted" is used in the previous paragraph, I changed it to "disappointment by". María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * for amusement...  For his own amusement?
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * from Harvard which ran... Either "that ran" or ", which ran" (comma)
 * Added comma. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * some of his best-known...  Among his best-known?
 * Better; done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Nine more of his poems were also published... Don't need "also".
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * that told of... How about just "about" or "concerning"?
 * Changed to "about". María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * very next day, and... Remove the comma
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * as a monument I'd cut these three words.
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * authorship", but Remove the comma
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * The quote at the end of the section is very interesting, but a little obscure. Can you introduce it with a little explanation of what Holmes meant?
 * Added "but compared such contentment to a sickness, saying:" in the middle of the quote. María ( habla con migo ) 16:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


 * As Arnold always said: "I'll be back". -- Ssilvers (talk) 22:50, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

More comments by Ssilvers

 * Medical training. After leaving his childhood home in Cambridge, he moved into a boardinghouse in Boston... Can you add a date at or near the beginning of this section?
 * Done.


 * doctors taught only five subjects... "medical students studied only five?
 * Done.


 * One of the subjects: medicine. Can you add a link to help the reader understand what this encompassed?  Perhaps Internal medicine?  There does not seem to be a good history of medical education article.  At the time Holmes attended medical school, doctors had not yet learned that bacteria cause disease.
 * I'd rather the article not become too bogged down with medical history, so I'm not sure what to do here other than link to medicine (internal medicine is only one facet of the subject).


 * "the city's medical college" It had no name, and there's no WP article for it?
 * Boston Medical College is a redlink, alas.


 * Although aware of the "painful and repulsive aspects" of the study of medicine, Holmes responded to placing emphasis on close observation of the patient and humane approaches. How about something like: Dismayed by the "painful and repulsive aspects" of disease that he was studying, Holmes responded to [his mentor's] [progressive?] techniques of emphasizing close observation of the patient and humane approaches.  [How did he respond?  What sort of humane approaches?  No more beating the patients?
 * He wasn't repulsed or dismayed by the repulsive aspects of the disease, but of the treatment; bloodletting, blistering, etc. I've tried to make this more clear: Although aware of the "painful and repulsive aspects" of primitive medical treatment of the time&mdash;which included practices such as bloodletting and blistering&mdash;Holmes responded favorably to his mentor's teachings, which emphasized close observation of the patient and humane approaches.
 * I don't like the "Although aware of" construction. How about just "Dismayed by"? -- Ssilvers (talk) 17:43, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I prefer that too; changed. María ( habla con migo ) 18:51, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * "lack of ample free time". I would delete "ample" or else say "lack of much free time".
 * Done.


 * Both of these essays, published in November 1831 and February 1832, were published under... How about "These essays... both appeared under"
 * Good; done.


 * If these essays became two of his most famous ones, say so.
 * Done so.


 * time period  I think you can just say "period" or "time".
 * Done.


 * École de Médecine. Just means medical school.  Was this the medical school of the Paris Descartes University or University of Paris? Both of these articles are better covered in Frence WP, where the associated medical schools have their own articles.  Me no speakie French.
 * If it's not food related, I'm completely ignorant about French, as well. Fromage!  See?  All of the sources refer to the school as "École de Médecine", and there are pictures of it on Flickr under that name, so I'm taking their word for it.  I can't seem to find if it was associated with one of the universities...
 * I suspect it's the one at Univ. of Paris. It seems like this ought to be linked to the correct university's article. -- Ssilvers (talk) 17:43, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * I believe you're right about it being the UoP (although it would have been an academy under the University of France at the time, apparently), so I've linked it there for now. María ( habla con migo ) 18:51, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * In order to better understand the lectures, which were spoken entirely in French, he studied the native language with a teacher who had been recommended by previous American students. Seems like a fairly obvious point: How about simply, "Since the lectures were in French, he engaged a private language tutor."
 * Done.


 * Although able to stay connected to home through letters and visitors  Isn't the point that he was far from home but liked Paris?  How about: "Although far from home, he stayed connected to his family and friends through letters and visitors—Ralph Waldo Emerson, for example, visited one day—and"
 * Done.


 * wrote it off as a one-time event. He wrote in the book's introduction Two "wrote"s in quick succession.  How about something like: "In the book's introduction, he mused:"
 * Much better; done.


 * Medical reformer. established the Tremont Medical School....  Shouldn't this be mentioned in the Lead?  Do we know the date when it merged into Harvard?
 * Tilton doesn't say when Tremont was incorporated and merged; long after Holmes stopped teaching there, though. I'll see about adding it to the lead, however.


 * For fourteen weeks in the fall... Each fall during these three years?  Or, what years?
 * "For fourteen weeks each fall for these three years".


 * New Hampshire, add comma. I think that all place names need commas after the State?
 * I don't think so...? After the city and before the state, yes, but I've never heard of commas being mandatory after a state.
 * I looked at a random FA, Joseph Francis Shea, and that is how it's done there. I remember some editor recently saying that's how it's done (but I can't recall who or where).  It looks right that way to me, but I don't know a god-like source to prove it.  Maybe ask User:Finetooth or one of the other punctuation types? -- Ssilvers (talk) 17:43, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * If Finetooth doesn't catch it during the c-e, I'll ask specifically. Now I'm curious! María ( habla  con migo ) 18:51, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court - Bluelink this
 * Done.


 * dedicated to the exposure of...  How about "dedicated to exposing"?
 * Better; done.


 * Using a less frivolous tone than his previous lectures, he... Were his prev. lectures frivolous?   How about "Adopting a very serious tone, he"
 * "Adapting a more serious tone than his previous lectures"?
 * From the additional reading that I did, I see that his earlier lectures were considered "witty". How about something like "than the conversational, witty tone of his previous lectures"? -- Ssilvers (talk) 00:29, 15 May 2009 (UTC)


 * and his second... and "Medical Delusions of the Past", his second."
 * Done.


 * Perpeural fever... This might be a good place to point out that it was not until about 1870 that Germ theory of disease was accepted.  Therefore, the idea in 1840 that the doctor's hygiene was related to the spread of disease was a progressive, even radical idea.
 * Added: "The essay argued&mdash;contrary to popular belief at the time, which predated germ theory of disease&mdash;that the cause of puerperal fever..."


 * I like to link names in image captions, even if they are linked in the accompanying text.
 * Sure; done.


 * Teaching and lecturing. Parkman professor - Named after Dr. George Parkman, I think? See [Parkman-Webster murder case]].
 * Yeah, that's linked a little further down. :) Not sure if he needs to be described just yet, though.


 * 1882,  Remove comma.
 * Done.


 * Again, the idea of women's higher education was extremely progressive until at least the 1870s. See The Princess.
 * I'm well aware, but I think that's covered by the next line: "Harvard Medical School would not admit a woman until 1945."


 * anatomico-pathological Link?
 * Linked Anatomical pathology, which has the ickiest lead image I think I've ever seen.


 * who they referred to as   Whom?  Not 100% sure.
 * Who. I think.  Maybe?


 * Having recently given up his private medical practice...  I don't think you explicitly said previously that he had a private practice.
 * Now mentioned that he practiced irregularly for ten years.


 * trees on his property, and... Eliminate comma
 * done.


 * Dr. Parkman... Add "George"?  Note that he was a wealthy Bostonian and benefactor of Harvard?
 * Added both.


 * the perpetrator... How about the attacker, the assailant or the murderer/killer.
 * Changed to "assailant". Too many Law and Order episodes for me; everyone's a "perp".


 * high credentials... "impressive credentials"?
 * Done.


 * resolution which "Resolved... how about "statement as follows: "Resolved..."
 * Changed to "sparked a student statement, which read:"


 * Traveling throughout New England... A link to New England may be useful to foreign readers.  Although you could link it further up in the magazine name...?
 * Added link here, rather than w/ the publication name; may be misleading.


 * anti-abolitionism... Is there a smoother term for those against abolition?
 * Not sure, but this is a commonly used term. Anti-abolitionist riots (1834), for example.
 * I think it is quite a common term; I can't imagine what else one would use. --Midnightdreary (talk) 15:24, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Later literary success. and had participation from New England literary elite... How about "and articles were contributed by the New England literary elite"  then change "contributed" in the next line to "wrote various pieces for the journal"
 * song... songs?  Everything else is plural.
 * 1858, Remove comma.
 * Massachusetts Historical Society posthumously awarded him an honorary membership.  Who, Irving?  What does that have to do with Holmes?  I'd delete, unless I'm missing something.
 * Check again; the ceremony for Irving's honorary membership was presided over by Holmes. Seems pretty clear. I cleared up the confusion over the pronoun, however. --Midnightdreary (talk) 15:29, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Sorry, but still not clear at all to me - the "tribute" is the "ceremony" you are talking about? If so, the sentence could read something like "At a tribute to Irving held by the Society on December 15, 1859, Holmes presided and presented an account..."  -- Ssilvers (talk) 17:43, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * he observed... "he had observed"
 * 19th century entertainment...  Add the word "device" or "handheld device"?  Why didn't he patent it?  Was it an altruistic impulse, or some other reason?  If the former, he should have been a wikipedian.  My grandparents had one that I used as a child.  I didn't find it that exciting, but we had a small black and white TV (that's right, I'm sorta old!)
 * I have one at work. It's definitely not the Wii... I'm not sure about the patent situation. Maria? --Midnightdreary (talk) 15:34, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Hoyt puts it eloquently enough: "Holmes could have patented the hand stereopticon and made a considerable amount of money from it, but he did not. He was a Brahmin, not a merchant."  I think it boils down to he didn't need or want to profit from it.  Is there a better way to phrase it? María ( habla  con migo ) 15:57, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * It's not clear to whom he "gave it away". To the public, or to someone else who commercialized it?  -- Ssilvers (talk) 00:16, 15 May 2009 (UTC)


 * he professed himself as an ardent Unionist... "he [proudly] identified himself..."
 * and inspiring even the upper class... "exhorting"? Or did it actually inspire them?  In that case it would be:    ", which inspired even..."
 * a gunshot in his chest... "a gunshot wound"
 * invited the help... sought the help, or invited his friends to help
 * That's all for now. -- Ssilvers (talk) 23:05, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks so much, Ssilvers! I think Midnightdreary took care of the rest here. María ( habla  con migo ) 15:57, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Later years

 * Why did his fame continue in later years? Was it because his writings continued to be popular, because he was a popular educator, both, or something else?
 * previously written for The Atlantic... Later you say The Atlantic Monthly again.  Perhaps you should stick with The Atlantic Monthly, unless it had already changed its name?  Also, sometimes you use a capital "T" for The Atlantic Monthly, and sometimes lower case.  I think it should always have the big T.
 * Should emeritus be ital.?
 * Not as far as I know... Do you usually see it that way? --Midnightdreary (talk) 19:42, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Not sure. It's a Latin word....  -- Ssilvers (talk) 00:14, 15 May 2009 (UTC)


 * poetry, with which Holmes had particular insight... "into which Holmes had"
 * he did not approve of his poetry... Was it moral opposition, or he just didn't enjoy it?  What you wrote is ok if the former.  Otherwise, it could be "he did not like his poetry"
 * Yes, moral opposition. I've left as is. --Midnightdreary (talk) 19:41, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * requested monetary donations... Because of the order of the sentences, perhaps you should say "had requested"?
 * Suffering from exhaustion... Need to repeat Holmes's name here, since you were talking about someone else in the prev. sentence.  Also, was this 1884?  If so, I'd say so and in the next sentence, say "In [October?] the same year,"
 * Impacted him... I don't like to use this word as a verb. "had a profound impact on him" or "had so influenced him"?
 * a travelogue of his travels... Delete "of his travels".
 * that had kept her invalid for months... I don't think you need this phrase.  If you decide to keep it, I don't think the word "invalid" should be used this way.
 * I changed it to "an invalid" - do you think this is a step up or just a sidestep? --Midnightdreary (talk) 19:41, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Better, although someone may come up with better phrasing. -- Ssilvers (talk) 21:24, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * the following year following... The following year after
 * weakening eyesight, and a fear... Don't need the comma.

Writings

 * a poet who expressed loyalty and trust at serious gatherings... Do you mean that his poetry expressed concepts of loyalty and trust, or something else?  The meaning of the sentence is not clear.
 * Made clearer with the fact that he expressed the benefits of loyalty and trust.


 * Despite the commemorative nature of much of Holmes's poetry...  Why "despite?"  How about, "In addition to his commemorative poems,
 * Good; changed.


 * To mix it up, you could use the word "verse" instead of poetry sometimes.
 * Will do.


 * The poetry section seems slight to me, considering that your intro focuses on Holmes's poetry. I would guess that there must be more about his style and more critical reaction.
 * I agree, although I've had difficulty finding a definitive work expressly dedicated to his poetry. Will keep looking.


 * Some critics believe...  Who?  Cite needed?
 * That's a paraphrase from the following ref, but just to be sure I cited it again.


 * You say that his novels were not critically successful during his life. Did they become critically successful later?
 * From what I understand, no, not so much. But I have no definitive reference as of now to state as much.


 * Legacy and criticism. I'd put the criticism of writings into the writings section, and put all the legacy stuff here, including some idea of which of his works are still read or studied.
 * I'm not sure about this; The criticism seems to be more about Holmes, himself, than specific works.


 * Emerson noted Holmes attempted to become a poet late in life...  He was a poet since early in his life, so what do you mean?  Is it: "Emerson noted Holmes's renewed focus on poetry late in life?"  If so, you need to set up in the poetry section that he turned away from poetry at some point and returned to it at another.
 * I don't think the poetry section needs to rehash what's already in the bio. The thing about Holmes is that he always kept turning away from poetry, meaning to concentrate on more worthier causes, but it kept sucking him back in.  As for the Emerson quote, I've made that clearer per your suggestion.

Some random comments (just suggestions from my mad brain - feel free to use or discard as you see fit):
 * Elsie Venner and a couple more of his most famous poems and essays deserve articles, no? When we did Noel Coward, we put up articles for his major works.  They could be just "start" articles and evolve later.
 * Definitely, I'd love to branch out. But for now, the main focus is on this main article for now so it can appear on the main page in August!


 * You mention songs a couple of times but don't say anything about them. Were they just lyrics?  If so, who wrote the music?  Were they patriotic, comical, sentimental, fanciful, romantic, ballads, marches, story-songs, or what?
 * I added subheadings to the Selected works section.
 * Some facts that are noted here, but not in the article (and I imagine you can find more authoritative sources for each of these assertions, if true: 1. Holmes wrote "charming lyrics" for the anniversary dinners from 1851 to 1889, closing with the touching "After the Curfew".  2. As a young man, while living in Paris, he used his vacations to visit the Netherlands, England, Scotland and Italy.  3. In his private medical practice, beginning 1835, he achieved only moderate success.  4. In later years, his only link with medicine were his anatomy lectures at Harvard.  5. "The Last Leaf" was "one of the most delicate combinations of pathos and humour in literature".  6. The serialization of Autocrat of the Breakfast Table made The Atlantic Monthly a huge success and also made Holmes famous as a writer, and it was then that "he ceased to be a physician and became an author".  7. Holmes's views on theology, reflected in the breakfast table books and in his novels, were controversal at the time and brought him bitter criticism (as his strict Calvin upbringing would come into conflict with the Unitarian spirit of Harvard).  8. The Guardian Angel was a most "lifelike and charming picture of the society of the New England" town.
 * Also might note that many of Holmes occasional poems were written for Harvard reunions, according to this.
 * Many of his poems for The Collegian were "comic and satiric" or "in celebration of companionship and good cheer". When I read this (not in a reliable source), it reminded me that the article doesn't characterize a lot of Holmes's works.  The article should give some sense of what they were like, as we go, so that when you get to he literary criticism section, it will be easier to explain his style and range of work.
 * In 1872, he published "Mechanism in Thought and Morals." Is this a major work? How about the poem "Astraea: the balance of illusions" (Aug 14, 1850).  Also, Songs in Many Keys (1862) a volume of poems. Also Soundings from the Atlantic, a book of essays, published in 1864.  Other possibilities: Songs of Many Seasons (1875), The Iron Gate and Other Poems (1880), and Before the Curfew and Other Poems (1888).
 * I read that he wrote the most stirring patriotic war lyrics of any poet during the Civil war.
 * According to this: 1. Holmes published hundreds of short stories both humorous and critical.  2. In 1862, he published "My Hunt after the Captain", a retelling of his search for his son who had been wounded in the battle of Antietam.  Jr. accused his father of being a dilettante and using his ordeal for literary gain, their relationship suffered much animosity.
 * Hoyt spends some time describing the animosity of OWH Jr. towards his father, who chased his son down every time he was wounded, and later wrote about it, but I thought that all might take too long to explain and be rather peripheral.


 * That's all. All the best, -- Ssilvers (talk) 00:13, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is an excellent biographical piece that seems comprehensive to me and is certainly well-written and well-sourced. I have a long list of prose and Manual of Style nitpicks, most of which will take little time to address. The image suggestions might be a bit more troublesome, but I hope not.

Early life and family
 * "One of his schoolmates was future critic and author Margaret Fuller, whose intellect Holmes jealously admired." - "Enviously" rather than "jealously"?
 * Changed.

Medical training
 * "Holmes became a student of Dr. James Jackson, the father of a friend... " - The Manual of Style recommends using something like "James Jackson, a physician and the father of a friend... ", rather than using "Dr."
 * Huh, I didn't know that. Fixed.


 * "He wrote two essays during this time which detailed life as seen from his boardinghouse's breakfast table; this premise would later evolve... " - I'm not used to seeing "premise" used in this way. Would it be more clear to say "these would later evolve... "? Also, maybe "later" is redundant. Maybe "these would evolve"? Or maybe "they would evolve" since you use "these essays" in the next sentence?
 * I rewrote this sentence, and the one following it, as it was bothering me: "He wrote two essays during this time which detailed life as seen from his boardinghouse's breakfast table. These essays, which would evolve into one of Holmes's most popular works, were published in November 1831 and February 1832 in the New England Magazine under the title "The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table"."


 * "At the hospital of La Pitié, he studied under internal pathologist Pierre Charles Alexandre Louis, who demonstrated the ineffectiveness of bloodletting as a treatment for fevers and other disorders, which method had been a mainstay of medical practice since antiquity." - The "which method" clause seems tacked on a bit awkwardly. Perhaps, since "other disorders" might mean "everything", the sentence could be simplified to "At the hospital of La Pitié, he studied under internal pathologist Pierre Charles Alexandre Louis, who demonstrated the ineffectiveness of bloodletting, which had been a mainstay of medical practice since antiquity."
 * Much better; fixed per suggestion.

Medical reformer
 * "He served on the faculty of Dartmouth Medical School from 1838 to 1840,[48] where he was appointed Professor of Anatomy and Physiology." - Lowercase "professor of anatomy and physiology"?
 * Done.


 * "She was the daughter of the Hon. Charles Jackson, formerly Associate Justice of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court, and the niece of Dr. James Jackson... " - Delete "Dr." and possibly replace with "the physician with whom... ".
 * Done.


 * "They had three children: Civil War hero and American jurist Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841–1935), Amelia Jackson (1843–1889), and Edward Jackson (1846–1884)." - I'd think about adding "Holmes" to the other two. My first thought was "odd that they used their mother's last name."
 * Ah, I hadn't thought of that. Added.


 * "Adapting a more serious tone than his previous lectures" - "Adopting" rather than "adapting"?
 * Changed.

Teaching and lecturing
 * "In 1847, Holmes was hired as Parkman Professor of Anatomy and Physiology at Harvard Medical School, where he taught until 1882 and served as dean until 1853." - Maybe these should be reversed to make them chronological: "In 1847, Holmes was hired as Parkman Professor of Anatomy and Physiology at Harvard Medical School, where served as dean until 1853 and taught until 1882."
 * Done.


 * "Both Dr. George Parkman (the victim), a local physician and wealthy benefactor, and Dr. Webster (the assailant) were graduates of Harvard... " - These "Dr." titles should also be deleted. Parkman is already described as a physician. You might want to add something to Webster. He might have been a physician as well or perhaps the title is academic, a Ph.D. in chemistry perhaps.
 * He was a medical doctor, so for now I've just removed the Dr. and added his first name.


 * "Webster was Professor of Chemistry at the Medical School during the time of the highly publicized murder. He was convicted and hanged. Holmes dedicated his November 1850 introductory lecture at the Medical School to Parkman's memory." - Lowercase "professor of chemistry" and "medical school" twice?
 * I changed professor of chemistry, but I'm not sure about de-capitalizing Medical School since; since the name of the school is Harvard Medical School, shouldn't it remain uppercase? I'm not sure, but I've left it unchanged for now.


 * "In a controversial move, Holmes admitted Delany and two other black men to the Medical School." - Lowercase "medical school"?
 * "60 students signed the resolution... " - Sixty should be spelled out, per the Manual of Style, since it starts a sentence.
 * Fixed.


 * "48 students signed another resolution which noted it would be "a far great evil, if, in the present state of public feeling... " - "Far great evil" looks like a mistake. Did they say "far greater evil"? If they said, "far great evil", maybe adding [sic} after "great" would be a good idea.
 * Bah, typo. Fixed.


 * "against what he considered their habit of using "every form of language calculated to inflame", he felt the movement was going too far" - "Their" is plural, but "movement" is singular. Maybe "against what he considered the abolitionists' habit of using 'every form of language calculated to inflame', he felt that the movement was going too far".
 * Done.


 * "Traveling throughout New England, he received anywhere from $40 to $100 per lecture,[80] but he also published a great deal during this time period" - Delete "period"?
 * Done.


 * "because of mounting criticisms from the press regarding Holmes's vocal anti-abolitionism, as well as his dislike of the growing Prohibition stance... " - I'm not sure that Prohibition with a capital "P" began this early. It usually refers to the time in the early 20th century of the legal prohibition of the sale of alcohol in the U.S. Also, maybe the word "prohibition" should be clarified. What did it mean in 1850 or 1860?
 * Quite right; changed it to his dislike of the temperance movement, with a link.

Later years and death
 * "Later that year, Holmes contributed ten dollars to Walt Whitman... " - Probably this should be $10 rather than "ten dollars".
 * Done.


 * "was awarded a Doctor of Letters degree from Cambridge University, an LL.D. from Edinburgh University, and a third honorary degree" - I'd be inclined to lowercase "doctor of letters" since we lowercase "bachelor's degree" and "master's degree". It would be good also to spell out "doctor of laws" with the "LL.D." in parentheses.
 * Done.


 * "He asked for and received a meeting with chemist and microbiologist Louis Pasteur... " - Suggestion: "He met with chemist and microbiologist Louis Pasteur... ".
 * Done.


 * Wikilink National Education Association?
 * Done.


 * "that the university should consider adopting the honorary Doctor of Letters degree and offer one to Samuel Francis Smith" - Lowercase "doctor of letters"?
 * Done.


 * On my monitor, the image of the grave runs across the break into the "Writing" section. Moving it up a bit would prevent this.
 * Moved up.

Poetry
 * "As critic Hyatt Waggoner noted, "very little... survives the occasions that produced it". - The ellipsis needs a space in front of it unless the ellipsis is part of the quoted material.
 * Done.

Prose
 * The Manual of Style in WP:MOSQUOTE suggests using blockquotes rather than fancy quotes for setting off quotations of four lines or more.
 * Changed.


 * "and Holmes uses the concept of one's unconscious mind throughout his works" - The Manual of Style suggests avoiding the use of "one" in this way. Better would be "and Holmes uses the concept of the unconscious mind throughout his works".
 * Changed.

Legacy and criticism
 * "are held in the library's Special Collections department" - Lowercase "special collections"?
 * I work in a Special Collections; we like to feel important. :) María ( habla con migo ) 17:12, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Images
 * I looked closely at the licenses because I know that they will be examined closely at FAC. It's easier to do the fixes before the pressure is on. I'm not a copyright and license expert, but if I were reviewing these images at FAC, I would probably raise the following questions. I've entered them in reverse order (bottom to top), because I reviewed them in that order.
 * (1) While it's highly likely that the licensing for Image:Washington Irving and his literary friends.jpg is OK (and it's a wonderful image), the source link on the image description and licensing page at the Commons probably won't survive FAC because the link is circular. It links to itself, in effect, which is no help to a fact-checker. I'm guessing from the url that the original is part of the American Memory collection of the Library of Congress, but I can't be sure. That's what the fact-checker will need to know. Where is this from? Who has the original?
 * (2) For similar reasons, it would be good to include a link to the source of and to add author information if it's available. I would also consider cropping the writing from beneath the image and re-uploading. It's not clear whose writing this might be, and the tiny print (not the name) just beneath the image is not readable.
 * (3) Image:Charles Delucena Meigs (1792 -1869) color.gif might be a problem because the source link is to a dot.com, not necessarily a reliable source, that does not say where the image came from. In addition, it's a weak image and a GIF rather than a JPG, the preferred format.
 * (4) Image:Oliver Wendell Holmes - Portrait.jpg is from the same dot.com. I wonder if it would be possible to find a good photo of Holmes in a library book published before 1923, scan it, and upload it to the Commons. This would allow you to be certain about the licensing.
 * The other licenses looked fine to me.
 * Images are easily replaceable (or removable) - there are plenty of options at Commons already. The ones I personally uploaded are probably safest for licensing, Maria. Regarding the Irving and his friends image, the original is actually still at Sunnyside. --Midnightdreary (talk) 02:08, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Best of luck with this. I look forward to seeing it again at FAC. Finetooth (talk) 00:35, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Oops, a little more from Ssilvers
Lead. Oops! Now that I've read the whole article, a couple more questions/thoughts about the lead: Best regards, -- Ssilvers (talk) 00:59, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * which would later become famous when published in book format...  I read that Autocrat was a sensation when during the Panic of 1837, when people wanted humorous reading.  Is that true?  I don't see anything about it in the article.
 * he became an advocate for various medical reforms, including the highly debated cause of puerperal fever... It sounds like he advocated puerperal fever.  How about "including the controversial idea that doctors were carrying puerperal fever from patient to patient."
 * Perhaps the lead should point out that he was a very popular teacher; and also that, in later years, he began to devote most of his energies to writing and less to medicine.
 * You note that For his literary achievements, he was awarded numerous honorary degrees...  However, later in the article, you do not state that the honorary degrees were for literary achievements, which I think you should.  Interestingly, two of the honorary degrees are doctorates of laws.  Any idea why?
 * or poems written specifically for an event. Perhaps add "including numerous events at Harvard".