Wikipedia:Peer review/Onir/archive1

Onir
I've listed this article for peer review because while it is a page I made a while ago, as someone who's learning the basics of editing, an assessment would be helpful in understanding how to create better articles going forward

Thanks, TheOneWorkingAccount (talk) 20:00, 3 March 2018 (UTC)


 * Hey, nice work :) I think you have a good article. It gives a good broad overview, is clear, and seems well referenced.


 * A few suggestions:
 * It is helpful if you can show how an idea in one sentence flows into the next. For example, "He did A, which lead to B". In the 'Early life' section it says his father resigned, but then is suddenly "In Kolkata". Did the resignation cause them to move? It would help the reader follow the flow if you could join things like this together.
 * Try to provide context for someone unfamiliar. In the lead section it says "His next film Shab was released in 2017, starring Raveena Tandon". Is this notable? If so, how? I don't know who Raveena Tandon is, so I'm not sure if this is important. If it is, it's useful if the article can explain why.
 * Explain acronyms the first time they are used. For example, 'SFB/TTC'. What are these? It is helpful if you can spell it out.
 * Splitting long sections into paragraphs can make it easier to understand.
 * It is okay to re-use references. You can use a reference for an in-line citation more than once. This makes it easy to see where a claim is cited, even in the middle of a sentence. For example: "The film was screened at over 40 international film festivals,". Great fact! We could put a reference citation right there, after the comma. That makes it easier to find. I added a few 'citation needed' templates to the article just to suggest where this could be done.
 * I would avoid putting references in the lead section. See if you can use them in the article, and then refer to them from the lead.


 * I found the top part of this article useful for improving some of my wiki writing as well.


 * I hope that helps! Nice work, and happy editing! --Culix (talk) 03:55, 16 May 2018 (UTC)


 * Thank you so much Culix (talk, this is really helpful. Hopefully this means to more & more improved articles going forward. TheOneWorkingAccount (talk) 10:17, 16 May 2018 (UTC)