Wikipedia:Peer review/Only Girl (In the World)/archive1

Only Girl (In the World)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because… GA review was not helpful, and it has been suggested that I have the article Peer Reviewed instead for a much more thorough analysis of the articles individual sections.

Thanks, Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9  00:00, 24 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Check out the GA review for another Rihanna song (Umbrella (song)), which is this page. There might be suggestions to help you fix the "Only Girl (In The World)" article, but the page I want you to go to talks about "Umbrella" instead.  'I   `'/ I>     &lt; pr o n 0 un¢ed "On£-ThouSand-&gt;     07:17, 27 June 2011 (UTC)'e7enT¥" &gt;   '  07:17, 27 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Why can't you just review this page?? I get given a crap GA review and get told to list for a Peer Review, so I did. Now I am getting buoyed off and told to look at a GA Review which doesn't relate to this article after waiting 5 days. Give me one that is specific to this page. Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9  10:29, 27 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Okay, read several Rihanna good articles, then look back to the GA review of "Only Girl (In the World). That is what I want you to do.  'I   `'/ I>     &lt; pr o n 0 un¢ed "On£-ThouSand-&gt;     22:43, 27 June 2011 (UTC)'e7enT¥" &gt;   '  22:43, 27 June 2011 (UTC)
 * GA Review 1? I've already addressed those points by looking at other GA's for guidance, hence the "✅" symbols. Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9  16:37, 28 June 2011 (UTC)
 * In addition to this, look up "only girl rihanna production", "only girl rihanna writing", "only girl rihanna recording", "only girl rihanna development", and whatever with "only girl rihanna" in it at Google.  'I   `'/ I>     &lt; pr o n 0 un¢ed "On£-ThouSand-&gt;     22:47, 27 June 2011 (UTC)'e7enT¥" &gt;   '  22:47, 27 June 2011 (UTC)
 * I've already done those searches, there simply isn't any info about the song on the web. I've watched interviews as well where she performed the song on tv and she didn't say anything about how the idea came about. Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9  16:34, 28 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Also, read several Rihanna interviews in the forth quarter of 2010 (Sep, Oct, Nov, Dec).  'I   `'/ I>     &lt; pr o n 0 un¢ed "On£-ThouSand-&gt;     22:49, 27 June 2011 (UTC)'e7enT¥" &gt;   '  22:49, 27 June 2011 (UTC)

'''I can't believe I am not getting any support for this article. I want someone else to review this please. Been buoyed off now from a GA Review AND a Peer Review. This is ridiculous.''' Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9  00:53, 30 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Comments from Novice7
 * Lead
 * The song was released as the albums lead single on September 10, 2010. → album's ✅ Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Production of the song was done by Stargate and Sandy Vee. - writing credits? ✅ Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The lyrics of the song see Rihanna singing about how she wants to be made to feel important in a relationship and be loved as if she was literally "the only girl in the world", as well as featuring some references to sexual acts. - case of WP:OR. Not sourced in the composition section/any other section. ✅ Removed Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Musically, "Only Girl (In the World)" is an up-tempo dance-pop song which incorporates elements of Europop. - source for "uptempo composition"? I think you can use the sheetmusic source here. ✅ The source is in the first line of the second paragraph in the Background and composition section Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * "Only Girl (In the World)" debuted at number seventy-five on the Billboard Hot 100 and peaked at number one in its eleventh week (after the second single from the album, "What's My Name?", had peaked at number one 2 weeks previous), giving Rihanna her ninth number one single on the chart. I think the information about "What's My Name" is irrelevant here. ✅ Removed Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The song reached number one on most of the world charts, including Australia, Ireland, Italy, Poland, Norway and the United Kingdom, as well as peaking at number one on the Billboard Hot Dance Club Songs and Pop Songs charts. The song attained top-five positions in the Czech Republic, France and Germany. - The song "also" reached number one ... Also, tense should be checked. ✅ Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The song's accompanying music video was directed by Anthony Mandler and filmed outside of Los Angeles. The video uses the simplistic theme of predominantly focusing on Rihanna with an array of artistic sceneries and props in the state of nature, frolicking on a hillside with life size flowers placed near her. - The song's accompanying music video ... and "was" filmed outside of Los Angeles?? Also, how is focusing on Rihanna a theme?? ✅ Re-worded it to make it not sound like it is just focusing on Rihanna, but what she is doing. Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 *  The song was performed for the first time on Saturday Night Live, as well as being performed on series seven of The X Factor in the United Kingdom and the 2010 American Music Awards in Los Angeles as part of a medley with "Love the Way You Lie (Part II)" and "What's My Name?" - tense. ✅ Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The song won the Grammy Award for Best Dance Recording at the 53rd Grammy Awards in Los Angeles. - Grammy Awards "held" in Los Angeles on (date here). ✅ Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The song has also received multiple covers by other artists, such as British singer-songwriter Ellie Goulding on BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge and American pop musician Katy Perry, at her second concert tour, The California Dreams Tour. - two things. First, change the "song has also received part" to "The song has been covered". Second, what do you mean by multiple covers? ✅ Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9


 * Background and composition
 * "Only Girl (In the World)" is the lead release from Rihanna's fifth studio album, Loud, and premiered on Ryan Seacrest's radio station on September 7, 2011.[2][3] Mention the radio station. ✅ Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9

Continuing...
 * "Only Girl" is an up-tempo dominant dance-pop song that incorporates elements of eurodance in its production.[7][1][8] - dominant dance-pop? Also, arrange the refs according to their number. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The song was written by Crystal Johnson, Mikkel S. Eriksen, Tor Erik Hermansen and Sandy Wilhelm. Stargate and Sandy Vee produced the song - actually, this should belong in the Background paragraph. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Brad Wete, a reviewer for The Music Mix at Entertainment Weekly, - why is The Music Mix italicized? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Calvin, you should use the music template to indicate sharp and flat and not a "#". ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * No description of the lyrics? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9


 * Critical reception
 * "Only Girl" received positive reviews from music critics, with the majority of acclaim going to the song's powerful chorus and thunderous beat.  - WP:OR? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * About.com's reliability is being debated upon, so be careful not to rely too much on it. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Quoting some of Rihanna's comments about the song, he reported - not needed. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Rated R is linked in the section above. So, no need to link it here. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Monica Herrera of Billboard complimented the production of the song as well as Rihanna - Rihanna? Her what? Vocals? Singing style? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Be careful about linking so that you don't WP:OVERLINK any terms/articles.
 * James Dinh of MTV News praised the lyics of the song, stating that after (going having) fairly dark and deep lyrics on her previous album, (and that) Rihanna has returned to the dance scene with "Only Girl" - tense and mistakes bracketed. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Overlink "Don't Stop the Music". ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * He also said that even though the song might not be original - what do you mean? Its production or lyrics? I think you should quote the word "original". ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * "whatever you may think about Rihanna, she is very good at demanding that you listen to what she has to say, even if she has to hurt you in order to do it." - does this review say about Rihanna or "Only Girl"? I find it a bit confusing.
 * In this category, Rihanna was competing against Goldfrapp's "Rocket", La Roux's "In for the Kill", Lady Gaga's "Dance in the Dark" and Robyn's "Dancing on My Own".[16] - reword. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * It is the first time Rihanna has won an award in this category, despite being nominated in 2008 with "Don't Stop the Music"[17] and 2009 with "Disturbia",[18] bringing the singers total number of Grammy wins to four. again, try to rewrite it better. Also, the total nominations thing is unsourced. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 *  At the MuchMusic Video Awards held in Canada on June 19, 2011, the song was nominated for "MuchMusic.com Most Watched Video of the Year", but lost to Taio Cruz's "Dynamite".[19] - this would fit better in the Music video section. Also, archive the MuchMusic link as it may rot soon. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * "Only Girl" is also nominated for two MTV Video Music Awards Japan. - unsourced. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Only this much reviews? I'm sure there are lots more, can you add them?


 * Chart performance
 * It was the first time in the chart's history for an album's lead single to reach number one after the second single, "What's My Name?", two weeks previous.[22] - poor wording. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * It became Rihanna's sixth single to debut at number one and is her eighth number one single on the chart.[ - became ... is (tense?) ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * and has been certified 2x Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA).[26] - use &times; instead of "x". ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The following week, the single jumped to attain the number one position, where it remained for one week.[28] - jumped what? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * spending four non-consecutive weeks in total - spending four non-consecutive weeks "at the top" in total. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The song held the position for a total of three weeks before being replaced by Pink's, "Raise Your Glass". - source? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * It has since been certified 5x Platinum by the Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA) for shipments of 350,000 units.[34] Again, no "x". ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * In New Zealand, the song debuted and peaked at number one for one week - debuted on what? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The sales gave Rihanna the second-biggest first-week single - "The figure gave Rihanna the second-biggest first-week single sales of 2010"? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Also, it is "the UK" ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9  9
 * Chartstats is unreliable. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * making it her third single to do so (following "Umbrella" and "Love The Way You Lie", on which she is featured by Eminem) and her first to do so without having peaked at number one there. - OR ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * You have not listed many other markets here. Maybe you could include a few of them?


 * Music video
 * In an interview, Rihanna - with whom? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 *  The video mimics the carefree lyrics to the song, which suggest that she is the "only girl in the world".[45] The video features Rihanna as the only person in the video singing and dancing among different surroundings and props.[45] The majority of the video features Rihanna prancing around hillsides wearing a mohair sweater and shorter skirt, a bustier and mini floral skirt, and lastly, a white bra and "boy shorts."[44] Other scenes in the video include Rihanna surrounded by multi-colored balloons, riding on a swing that hangs from the sky, lying in a bed of flowers and then dancing in front of a tree covered with blinking lights that adds to the surreal imagery.[47] - "the video" repeats. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The Music Mix is Entertainment Weekly's blog. It need not be italicized or put in quotes. Same with CBS. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Link the first occurrence of Rated R in the section and remove the existing link. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * the change in the stylization from Rihanna's previous from Rated R which featured a darker themes - ?? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Quotes within quotes should be fixed properly according to MOS:QUOTE.
 * Mail Online should not be italicized. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The reviewer continued to say that, - continued? You mean, "went on to say that ..." ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * huge bow in it[...]The tone -space after it and before The. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * from her previous albums video's - album's ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * flaunted on Rated R - italicize Rated R. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9


 * Live performances
 * "Only Girl" was performed for the first time in North America on Saturday Night Live on October 30, 2010, where Rihanna also debuted "What's My Name?" (without Drake) as well as featuring in a 'skit' performance on the show.[1][2] - link Drake. Also, why is skit within single inverted commas? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The performance featured Rihanna at a masquerade ball, which then resulted in the dancers having an on stage "cake fight" as well as having a fire backdrop.[4 - rewrite. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Elsewhere in Europe, Rihanna performed the song at the MTV Europe Music Awards 2010 in Madrid, Spain, on November 7, 2010, where she was surrounded by flowers on a set which resembled that of a fairytale,[5] in addition to performing on The X Factor in Italy on November 9, 2010, which featured Rihanna wearing a red pig-tail wig and a flowered bikini,[6] as well as performing on Le Grand Journal in France on November 10, 2010.[7] - tense. Rewrite and maybe split a sentence or two off. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * She was sitting on a stylized tree hovering above a field of sable-colored blades of grass. Once she had finished the first frame of the song, she plummeted from the tree to the ground - "she sat on a stylized tree ... ground." Did she jump intentionally? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * reemerge - re-emerge ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * She reemerged from the fog revealing a changed costume now consisting of a black-and-white bra top and shorts singing "What's My Name?".[9] - lol, the costume sang "What's My Name"? singing → and sang. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Brit Awards and BRIT Awards. Be consistent. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Hmm,  This was due to the BRIT Awards corporation trying to avoid receiving similar complaints about Rihanna on the final of the seventh season of The X Factor on December 11, 2010, for wearing a provocative outfit and performing a suggestive dance routine before the watershed.[13] is a very huge point. I feel it needs a few more (two or three more) sources to backup the claim. Daily Mail is considered unreliable, so, yeah, it needs more reliable sources. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * The song was covered by British singer-songwriter Ellie Goulding on BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge in late 2010 and featured as a B-side to Goulding's single "Lights" in 2011. - source? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Is celebuzz.com reliable?


 * Charts
 * The succession boxes should be placed below the External links per WP:FOOTER. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9


 * References
 * Ref #1, #6 missing publisher. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Ref #5 why is "M" italicized? ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Dates formatting is inconsistent (you use both September xx, 2010 and 2011-09-xx)
 * Ref #8 incorrect work and publisher (work=Entertainment Weekly and publisher =Time Inc.). Same with #9, #11 ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * Ref #12 coding issue. ✅ <font color ="blue" face= "Aharoni">Calvin  &bull; 9 9 9
 * I haven't checked them all, but I can see that most of them should be formatted properly. Some online websites are italicized, some refs are not formatted, some unreliable websites etc.

Well, good luck with GAN. Make sure you check the prose and refs thoroughly. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. Thanks. <b style="font-family:Arial; color:CornflowerBlue;">Novice7</b> (<b style="font-family:Arial; color:DodgerBlue;">talk</b>) 13:29, 6 July 2011 (UTC)