Wikipedia:Peer review/Orion (mythology)/archive1

Orion (mythology)
I am particularly interested if the telling of the actual stories of Orion is clear and flows smoothly. There is no standard telling, but several almost consistent versions. Rather than synthesizing one, this article stresses the variety of the sources. Septentrionalis PMAnderson 00:55, 16 June 2007 (UTC)


 * I don't have much to say story-wise; the telling was clear to me, although a bit dry. It didn't flow for me though: the reference markers got in the way of the story, and the telling seems as fragmentary as the sources are stated to be. I'm not sure how to fix it, and maybe with the sources available there is no fixing it.


 * As far as the article goes,
 * IMO, at least one of "constellation of the same name" in the lead or the first mention of Orion the constellation in the first section should link to Orion (constellation).
 * Quite right. Septentrionalis PMAnderson 22:33, 20 June 2007 (UTC)
 * The final paragraph under Variants sounds odd. Also, if you keep the dash you should use &mdash; instead of -.
 * Better? Septentrionalis PMAnderson 22:38, 20 June 2007 (UTC)
 * It still sounded odd; how does the change I just made sound to you? Anomie 23:53, 20 June 2007 (UTC)
 * I tweaked it a bit for emphasis. Septentrionalis PMAnderson 16:45, 21 June 2007 (UTC)
 * Maybe there isn't anything, but has the myth had any influence on later culture besides naming a constellation and giving mythologists something to talk about? I know there are a ton of things named after the constellation, which doesn't really count. The Literary culture section is a start.
 * Not as far as I know; most of these sources are very obscure, and without them, Orion comes across as "he was a giant hunter, killed by Scorpio". But I really haven't looked. Thank you for the idea. Septentrionalis PMAnderson 22:33, 20 June 2007 (UTC)
 * Anomie 03:51, 19 June 2007 (UTC)