Wikipedia:Peer review/Pakistan Life Saving Foundation/archive1

Pakistan Life Saving Foundation


I've listed this article for peer review because this is first time I wrote a wiki article and I need some feed back and guidence.

Thanks, Nido Nidz (talk) 11:15, 13 August 2020 (UTC)


 * Hiya congratulations on writing your first article! People have expressed some concerns about the article by adding templates to it, please don't be discouraged, everyone wants to improve the article and the templates can be removed when the changes have been made. I have a few comments:
 * You've made a navbox which is great, but maybe it's better to remove it from the page for now and keep it on a usersubpage since navboxes are made as separate templates and then inserted into articles. Also there are several disambiguations needing to be done eg Seaview, Clifton, Hawks Bay, IRB. I can help more with that if you like, but that's a bit of a side issue for now.
 * Do you have a conflict of interest as asked on your talkpage? No prob if you do, but best to declare it. If not then it's also good to know!
 * If you run https://copyvios.toolforge.org/ on the page, you will see that there are some copyright violation concerns, it looks to me that you did try to avoid plaigarism but a few sentences are still a bit too close to sources eg "was established in 2004 for the purpose of providing life-saving services along the beaches of Karachi" and "At the end of the 2 week intensive training period, 64 life guards were issued SLSNR Awards and 41 were issued Certificates" and "This pilot project which is part of an planned, large scale development, connects a buoying net across the width of the canal with supporting poles". So they need rewording.
 * every paragraph or section needs at least one citation from reliable sources, in fact every claim that can be challenged is best of referenced, so at the very least the sections "International Affiliations" and "Local Affiliations and Support" need a reference. Someone already added (citation needed) and I turned that into tags.
 * I think I'll stop there for now, please let me know if anything needs clarifying. Mujinga (talk) 15:09, 29 August 2020 (UTC)