Wikipedia:Peer review/Patriot Games (Family Guy)/archive1

Patriot Games (Family Guy)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I have been editing this artical for some time and i wish for it to become a GA some day. Thanks, Pedro J.  the rookie 21:56, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This sounds like an amusing episode, but the article will have to be improved substantially to have any chance at GA. Here are a few suggestions for improvement.


 * I often find it helpful to see how other editors have constructed successful articles. You'll find a list of Good Articles about TV episodes at WP:GA. Booze Cruise (The Office), one of the GAs, has sections called "Production" and "Reception" in addition to a "Plot" section. The same is true for another GA, The Pilot (Friends), and I suspect if I looked at more I would see a pattern of including "Production" and "Reception" material. To satisfy the "broad in coverage" requirement for a GA, you'll no doubt have to include something about production and critical reception.


 * To have any hope of making GA, you'll need to make sure that the prose is clear and the spelling and grammar are correct. That is not yet the case with the existing article. For example, the second sentence of the lead is not a sentence, and the "Cultural Refrences" head contains a misspelling.


 * All of the citations are incomplete. A good rule of thumb for citing web sources is to include author, title, publisher, date of publication, url, and access date, if all of these can be found. I like to use the "cite" family of templates for doing citations partly because I can just fill in the blanks. You can find these templates at WP:CIT. You can copy-and-paste them into your sandbox to try them out, and you can insert them into articles between pairs of ref tags. It's OK to enter the citation data by hand too, but you need to include more than the bare url.


 * Parts of the article lack sources. For example, the entire "Cultural references" section is unsourced even though it includes material that is not common knowledge. A good rule of thumb is to give sources for every set of statistics, every claim that might reasonable be challenged, every direct quote, and every paragraph. Claims such as "The Monday after this episode aired, the word "Shipoopi" was the most searched word on the web" are extraordinary and must have come from a source (or possibly are not true). You need to cite a reliable source for claims like this.


 * MOS:INTRO says in part, "The lead section should briefly summarize the most important points covered in an article in such a way that it can stand on its own as a concise version of the article." - The existing lead doesn't mention "Cultural references" or "Censorship".

I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 23:29, 26 August 2009 (UTC)