Wikipedia:Peer review/Platte Canyon High School shooting/archive1

Platte Canyon High School shooting
I've been working on this article ever since the day after the incident, and it's achieved good article status. I'm getting ready to submit it to WP:FAC, but I'd like some comments regarding the general aspects of the article first. Seeing if it complies with WP:WIAFA would be great. Thanks. &mdash; † Webdinger BLAH 07:32, 24 November 2006 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ t 19:18, 24 November 2006 (UTC)

balloonman

 * In the intro section you might want to mention that the SWAT team that responded to Columbine were the ones who went to Bailey because of their specialized/additional training after Columbine.
 * I will if you can find a reference. If not, I'll look for one. Thanks! &mdash; † Webdinger BLAH 03:42, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
 * It's your article, I'll leave it up to you... you allude to it later in the article so it shouldnt' be hard to document.Balloonman 22:49, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
 * The section where they were lined up and sexually assaulted is choppy, you might also want to mention how he dismissed people and kept only a few select people. If I remember correctly didn't he pick a 'type' EG girls who had similar physical characteristics?
 * I never found a news story or other reference that talked about his selection of girls. It looks like the investigators are still looking into the motives behind his selections. &mdash; † Webdinger BLAH 03:42, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
 * I vaguely remember something about it, but couldn't point out a source. I do know that there is coverage about how he walked behind people and tapped them on their shoulders and told them to get out.  He sent all the men and a fair number of women out.Balloonman 22:49, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
 * The timeline is a little choppy... EG the code white followed by rapidly evaucated schools doesn't flow.
 * Not quite sure what you mean about the timeline. Are you talking about the timeline consisting of events preceding Morrison's entry into the school or the first paragraph of "Negotiations and evacuations"? Whatever the case, I'll look into it. &mdash; † Webdinger BLAH 03:42, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
 * You mention that the building was placed on lockdown and then suddenly without explanation they are being rapidly evacuated. It needed a transition.
 * name the local church,I'm sure that's public record
 * Add a sentence on CSAP/Test scores taht were being improved. Article should stand on it's own.Balloonman 05:59, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
 * I'm unsure as to what you mean here as well. How do you want me to elaborate on the CSAPs and other test scores? And I think the article stands pretty well on its own. &mdash; † Webdinger BLAH 03:42, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
 * CSAP is a Colorado standard/requirement, a non-coloradian might not know what a CSAP is.Balloonman 22:49, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
 * Isn't that the purpose of wikilinking? &mdash; † Webdinger BLAH 23:23, 28 November 2006 (UTC)