Wikipedia:Peer review/Policing and Crime Act 2009/archive1

Policing and Crime Act 2009
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I'm wanting some feedback on getting it up to a Good Article. If you could let me know what I need to add, change, etc. I would much appreciate it :)

Thanks, Calvin (talk) 17:25, 3 December 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, and a good start, but needs some work before I think it would pass GAN. Here are some suggestions for improvement. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 05:12, 9 December 2009 (UTC)
 * The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, so the lead could be expanded to two (or even three) paragraphs. As one example, the Background section does not seem to be in the lead. Please see WP:LEAD
 * Some sections have good references, but others have none at all, such as "Police reform" - My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
 * The article is fairly listy in spots, and it has several short (one or two sentence) paragraphs and even sections. To improve article flow, the lists could be convertedto prose in many cases and the short paragraphs (sections) could be combined with others or perhaps expanded. Reception is all one sentence paragraphs, for example.
 * Two sections of the article are named "Other amendments" - WP:HEAD says to avoid this if at all possible (multiple sections with the same name) as it causes confusion
 * Is there any chance for an image or two? Even of the Houses of Parliament?
 * I do not know as much about modern politics in the UK as I should, but it seems like there has to be more detail on the bills passage in Parliament than one sentence (with no ref): The Policing and Crime Bill was introduced to the House of Commons on 18 December 2008 and was passed to the House of Lords on the 20 May 2009. What were the vote totals? Who sopke in favor of the bill and who opposed it? Do British bills have sponsors (and if so who was / were they)?
 * Ref 8 needs a publisher
 * Is there more news coverage on the bill? Editorials for or against it? Analyses of it by news outlets? There area few BBC and Guardian refs, but were thewre more stories?
 * Shoule there be a redirect to the article from "An Act to make provision about the police; to make provision about prostitution, sex offenders, sex establishments and certain other premises; to make provision for reducing and dealing with the abuse of alcohol; to make provision about the proceeds of crime; to make provision about extradition; to amend the Aviation Security Act 1982; to make provision about criminal records and to amend the Safeguarding Vulnerable Groups Act 2006 and the Safeguarding Vulnerable Groups (Northern Ireland) Order 2007; to confer, extend or facilitate search, forfeiture and other powers relating to the United Kingdom’s borders or elsewhere; to make further provision for combatting crime and disorder; to repeal redundant provisions; and for connected purposes." ;-)
 * Not sure ifthis would be an issue or not, but articles are supposed to be stable to pass GAN - are there likely to be more developments in the article as the law is put into practice / implemented? If so, would they be major enough to make the article seem unstable? Not sure I expressed this well - for example an article on the Community Charge Poll Tax less than a month after its passage would look different than one written today.