Wikipedia:Peer review/Postelsia/archive1

Postelsia
I started an article a while back, Postelsia, and I'd like some tips on how I could improve it. This is the first article I've started all by myself, and it's kind of hard to judge your own work. I would really like to improve it enough to be a good article, and maybe even that most coveted of prizes, featured article status. Any tips? Comments? Things I did absolutely wrong? Werothegreat 12:10, 28 February 2007 (UTC) --AnonEMouse (squeak) 15:20, 28 February 2007 (UTC)
 * Well, the first "thing you did absolutely wrong" was adding this to the North Omaha review, instead of to the main Peer Review page. :-) Try going to Peer review and following the instructions at the top of the page. --AnonEMouse (squeak) 15:01, 28 February 2007 (UTC)
 * But OK. While it's here, I'll write here. When you do it right, you can move my comments to the right place. Don't forget to do the other stuff in the instructions, like marking on its talk page that it's on peer review, etc.
 * First issue I see is a lack of inline citations. Not that this seems to be a particularly controversial issue, of course, so you don't need to cite every sentence, but writing where you got what fact would be useful.
 * Nice photos, well done.
 * How big are they? Either give citable measurements, or display a photo including a person or their hand or something.
 * "Postelsia was first described by Franz Joseph Ruprecht near Bodega Bay in California" - who was FJR? A botanist, a random passerby, a '49er looking for gold? When was it first described? Where - in a diary, in a scientific journal, in a newspaper article, on a website?
 * "and has been used by several textbooks as an example of multicellular protists, as well as an example of the class Phaeophyceae." - what textbooks? Give at least some examples, or a citation saying that, or strike the sentence.
 * link or explain first mention of important and/or uncommon terms: intertidal zone, thallus, photosynthesis,, gametophytes, holdfast ... there are others, but I got tired of listing them. Some are linked in their second mention and not in their first. Was Habitat originally a lower section, then moved up? California is also linked in second mention, but not in first.
 * "an algae" but "The Brown Alga" - which is the correct singular?
 * WP:$
 * The animation is cute, but distracting, and limited - typically you either display the whole cycle statically, or animate the whole cycle, this one seems to display most, and animate part.
 * Edible - cite or give an example of recipes using it
 * " illegal to harvest Postelsia for recreational use" - cite the law. "actually", "however" - is there a dispute about companies being able to harvest, but not individuals? If so, refer to or cite the actual debate. If not, we shouldn't express astonishment.
 * Where do harvesters get it? Do they maintain farms of their own, just trawl public coastlines, what?


 * Thank you very much. Currently implenting your suggestions into the article.  And next time I went put a request into another article.  Werothegreat 21:00, 28 February 2007 (UTC)

I would like to have the article reviewed a second time, as it has just recently been granted good article status, and I would like to know what improvements could be made so that it might warrant featured article status. Werothegreat 01:37, 17 July 2007 (UTC)