Wikipedia:Peer review/Posting system/archive1

Posting system
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I've completely overhauled it, and I would like to get it to at least GA quality. I believe that all the information that needs to be on the page is there in some form or another, I would just like to get the prose and grammar perfect, which can be hard when there are so many names, terms and technical jargon to juggle around. Any help perfecting it would be great!

Thanks, Torsodog (talk) 06:36, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article and good start on the way to GA, but still needs some work. Here are some suggestions for improvement:
 * ✅ The lead needs to be expanded to be a summary of the whole article and could be at least one paragraph longer - see WP:LEAD
 * ✅ Define each abbreviation right after its first use, for example Nippon Professional Baseball (NPB) and Major League Baseball (MLB)
 * ✅ word choice here "presumably": the posting system presumably solved both problems. perhaps the posting system presumably was meant to solve both problems.?
 * ✅ Would it make sense to add to the caption Ichiro Suzuki was the first high-profile NPB player [and second overall] to use the posting system. ?
 * ✅ Use "for" instead of "of" here perhaps: exclusive signing rights of [for?] Hideki Irabu. ?
 * ✅ References are good, but a few more are needed - I usually like to end each paragraph with a cite. See WP:CITE and WP:V
 * ✅ I would give the dollar amounts that Nomo and Soriano signed for to give some indication of what thier NPB teams lost (and cite this)
 * ✅ This is well written - I could follow all of this pretty easily (Thanks! Torsodog (talk) 06:57, 14 April 2008 (UTC))
 * ✅ The intro to the two tables on successful and unsuccessful postings could be expanded.
 * This is a bit short for GA, so one way of expanding it would be to have more on each case (as is done for the three cases in the history already).
 * I understand what you are saying here, but there is not much else to state about the other postings. Most of the postings were rather low-profile except Daisuke's. Ichiro's posting is over 8 years old now and it is hard to find information about the posting and bid. Torsodog (talk) 20:23, 26 April 2008 (UTC)

Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 00:55, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * ✅ Does this work in reverse - MLB to NPB? (and the answer is no, btw :)