Wikipedia:Peer review/Poundland/archive1

Poundland

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I have substantially contributed to and expanded this article over the past couple of months, bringing it from this state, up to the standard it is at now. I hope to nominate it for a good article in the not so distant future, however I thought it best to submit it for peer review to see what other editors' opinions are on its current quality and what can be improved/expanded upon (such as any content missing which would be expected for an article on a company). The prose has not had a rigourous checking that I am aware of, so any suggestions on improvements to it are also welcome.

Thanks, Bungle (talk • contribs) 21:31, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article on a store chain I never heard of, here are some brief suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 22:59, 7 September 2008 (UTC)
 * The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article, so nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself (mobile phones, USDAW). My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way but where is Criticisms? Please see WP:LEAD
 * Spell out abbreviations like USDAW on first use with the abbreviation following in brackets
 * Avoid needless repetition - does the article really need to have both ... and aims to open 60 new stores throughout 2008 and 2009. in Formation and His plans for expansion could see an additional 30 stores opening throughout 2008, and an equal number in 2009. in the very next section (Management)?
 * Lots of short paragraphs (one or two sentences) that should be combined with others of expanded, if possible.
 * Is Poundland singular or plural - seems singular (it is a chain of stores) but inconsistent grammar
 * Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase.
 * Article needs more references, for example the first paragraph of Sales strategy is unsourced. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
 * Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. cite web and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
 * Problem sentence In response, a 130,000sq ft warehouse was constructed 15 miles away... needs both English and metirc units - convert may help, need a space before square feet (spell out initial units), and we have no idea what it is 15 miles from - see WP:PCR
 * Lots of places where the prose could be polished - try printing this out and reading it aloud.