Wikipedia:Peer review/Precipitation (meteorology)/archive1

===Precipitation (meteorology)===


 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because…I'm exploring upgrading this article to FA status. The conversion to cite xxx reference notation has completed. A recent upgrade of the snow article exposed its underrepresentation within this article, so I'm concerned there could be other issues. Since entering peer review, more information has been added about hail and what a hydrometeor is as well. Thegreatdr (talk) 18:32, 14 July 2009 (UTC) :Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Peer review/.
 * Would discussing the effects of precipitation on climate be considered outside the scope of the article? Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 04:40, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I don't see why not, although so far I'm finding references regarding effects of changing climates on precipitation, not the other way around. I've also included a section concerning the use of precipitation in determining different climate regimes.  Thegreatdr (talk) 19:12, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Yeah, the Köppen climate section looks good (although I'm not sure what that image is trying to illustrate; it's more suitable to the temperature article). Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 19:45, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Replaced with a better image, though it is larger. Thegreatdr (talk) 19:48, 17 July 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is fascinating and generally well-done, and I enjoyed reading it. I did a bit of proofreading as I went and fixed a few minor things. Most of my suggestions are related to Manual of Style and prose issues.

Lead
 * "a concern downwind of the warm lakes within the cold cyclonic flow around the backside of extratropical cyclones" - Wikilink cyclonic and extratropical cyclone?
 * "In mountainous areas, heavy precipitation is possible where upslope flow is maximized within windward sides of the terrain at elevation. Precipitation can also form due to forced ascent up the windward side of a mountain or mountain range." - Does the second sentence differ in meaning from the first?
 * "Rain drops are not shaped like tear drops, but rather like flattened pancakes." - Delete "flattened"? Aren't all pancakes flat?
 * "Approximately 505,000 km3 (121,000 cu mi)... " - Generally, the primary unit is spelled out and the secondary unit abbreviated. I like to use the convert template, which spells and abbreviates according the Manual of Style, holds everything together on line-break, and does the math, thus: 505000 km3. It would be good to check these throughout the article.

Hydrometeor
 * "In contrast, any phenomenon which is due to condensation or precipitation of moisture within the Earth's atmosphere is known as a hydrometeor. Particles from the Earth's surface can become hydrometeors if blown off the landscape by wind." - The two sentences don't seem to follow logically. Blown particles are not "due to condensation or precipitation of moisture". Should the definition sentence be expanded slightly? Or should the second sentence specify "moisture-containing particles"?

Types
 * "Mechanisms of producing precipitation include convective, stratiform, and orographic rainfall." - Wikilink stratiform and orographic?
 * A better link would be Orographic lift. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 00:11, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * "Convective processes involve strong vertical motions which can cause the overturning of the atmosphere in that location within an hour and as a result heavy precipitation, while stratiform processes involve weaker upward motions and less intense precipitation." - Slight re-wording? Suggestion: "Convective processes involve strong vertical motions that can cause the overturning of the atmosphere in that location within an hour and cause heavy precipitation, while stratiform processes involve weaker upward motions and less intense precipitation."
 * "Rain or drizzle which freezes on contact within a subfreezing air mass gains the preceding word of freezing, becoming known as freezing rain or freezing drizzle." Slight re-wording? Suggestion: "Rain or drizzle that freezes on contact within a subfreezing air mass is called "freezing rain" or "freezing drizzle".

Cooling air to its dew point
 * "It can also form due to the lifting of advection fog during breezy conditions... " - Wikilink advection?
 * "which forces the air temperature to cool to its wet bulb temperature, or until it reaches saturation" - Wikilink wet-bulb temperature?

Adding moisture to the air
 * MOS: says in part, "Do not use lists if a passage reads easily using plain paragraphs." For this reason, I'd suggest turning this list into straight prose.

Raindrops
 * "This generally requires more mass than coalescence when occurring between the crystal and neighboring water droplets." - Wikilink mass?

Hail
 * The caption for the accompanying images says, "A large hailstone, about 6 cm (2.36 in) in diameter". Do you want to round to hundredths of an inch when the primary unit is rounded to "about" a whole number? You might check the degree of rounding throughout to make sure it's what you want.

Snowflakes
 * "Our understanding of what particles make efficient ice nuclei is poor — what we do know is they are very rare compared to that cloud condensation nuclei on which liquid droplets form." - Wikipedia generally avoids speaking in the first person singular or plural. Suggestion: "The understanding of what particles make efficient ice nuclei is poor; however, these particles are very rare compared to the cloud condensation nuclei on which liquid droplets form."
 * "Although the ice is clear, scattering of light by the crystal facets and hollows/imperfections mean that the crystals often appear white... " - Rather than using a front slash as a connector, I'd suggest "by the crystal facets, hollows, and imperfections meant that... "

Frontal activity
 * "Stratiform or dynamic precipitation occurs as a consequence of slow ascent of air in synoptic systems... " - Wikilink synoptic?
 * "A wide variety of weather can be found along an occluded front... " - Wikilink occluded front?

''
 * "often associated with baroclinic boundaries such as cold fronts" - Wikilink baroclinic?

Snow
 * "The band of precipitation that is associated with their warm front is often extensive, forced by weak upward vertical motion of air over the frontal boundary which condenses as it cools and produces precipitation within an elongated band, which is wide and stratiform, meaning falling out of nimbostratus clouds." - Too many clauses. Suggestion: "The band of precipitation that is associated with their warm front is often extensive, forced by weak upward vertical motion of air over the frontal boundary. The air condenses as it cools and produces precipitation within an elongated band that is wide and stratiform, falling from nimbostratus clouds."

Measurement
 * "Some add anti-freeze to their gage so they do not have to melt the snow or ice that falls into the gage." - Missing word? Some people? Meteorologists? Weather observers?
 * "Once the snowfall/ice is finished accumulating, or as you approach 300 mm (12 in), one can either bring it inside to melt, or use luke warm water to fill the inner cylinder with in order to melt the frozen precipitation in the outer cylinder, keeping track of the warm fluid added, which is subsequently subtracted from the overall total once all the ice/snow is melted." - This sentence has too many clauses. In addition, Wikipedia avoids using "you" and "one" in this way. Also, "lukewarm" is one word, and the front slashes should be rendered as prose.
 * This section uses two variant spellings, "gage" "gauge" for the same thing. You should choose the one you prefer and make them all the same for consistency.
 * "since snow may sublimate if the gage is kept much above freezing" - Wikilink sublimate?
 * "Weighing gages with antifreeze should do fine with snow, but again, the funnel needs to be removed before the event begins. For those looking to measure rainfall the most inexpensively, a can that is cylindrical with straight sides will act as a rain gage if left out in the open, but its accuracy will depend on what ruler you use to measure the rain with. Any of the above rain gages can be made at home, with enough know-how." - These sentence seem theoretical because of verb forms like "should do". It should be re-written in neutral language such as "Cylindrical cans with straight sides are sometimes used as inexpensive rain gauges; their accuracy depends on how the collected rain is measured."
 * "When a precipitation measurement is made, various networks exist across the United States and elsewhere where rainfall measurements can be submitted through the Internet, such as CoCoRAHS or GLOBE. If a network is not available in the area where one lives, the nearest local weather office will likely be interested in the measurement." - This too, sounds theoretical, uses "one", and includes the weasel, "will likely be". In addition, since this is an international encyclopedia, why single out the U.S. for special mention?

Return period
 * "The term 1 in 10 year storm describes a rainfall event which is rare and is only likely to occur once every 10 years" - Is this the official term? Normally something like this would be hyphenated as "1-in-10-year storm". But I'm wondering why not 10-year storm and 100-year storm, which would be parallel in construction to 100-year flood?

Changes due to global warming
 * "along with increased salinity in lower latitudes (implying less precipitation and/or more evaporation)." - Another "and/or".

Forecasting
 * "Starting in the mid to late 1990s, QPFs were used within hydrologic forecast models to simulate impact to rivers throughout the United States." What about other countries?

Images
 * MOS:IMAGES says in part, "Most pictures should be between 100 and 400 pixels wide. Generally, use the thumbnail option ("thumb"), which is available in the image markup." The images in the article all seem to be set to sizes larger than "thumb". In some cases, that may be a good idea; in others not so good.
 * MOS:IMAGES also says, "Images should be inside the section they belong to (after the heading and after any links to other articles), and not above the heading." IMAGE:Atlanta thermal.jpg overlaps two sections.

General
 * The dabfinder that lives here finds a few links that go to disambiguation pages instead of the intended targets.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 05:35, 21 July 2009 (UTC)