Wikipedia:Peer review/Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney/archive2

Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney
I requested that this page be peer reviewed in June and received some great suggestions. I've taken these on board and made changes and was hoping that someone could have a look and see if it is worthy of GA status yet and/or make any further suggestions. Thanks in advance! Loopla 16:27, 20 July 2007 (UTC)

Peer review/Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney/archive1

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question. You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, DrKiernan 14:21, 26 July 2007 (UTC)
 * The lead of this article may contain too many paragraphs. Please follow guidelines at WP:LEAD; be aware that the lead should adequately summarize the article.[?]
 * Consider adding more links to the article; per Manual of Style (links) and Build the web, create links to relevant articles.[?]
 * Per What is a featured article?, Images should have concise captions.[?]
 * Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), there should be a non-breaking space -  between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 84ft, use 84 ft, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 84&amp;nbsp;ft.[?]
 * As per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), dates shouldn't use th; for example, instead of using January 30th was a great day, use January 30 was a great day.[?]
 * Per Manual of Style (headings), headings generally do not start with articles ('the', 'a(n)'). For example, if there was a section called  ==The Biography== , it should be changed to  ==Biography== .[?]
 * Please reorder/rename the last few sections to follow guidelines at Guide to layout.[?]
 * Per WP:WIAFA, this article's table of contents (ToC) may be too long- consider shrinking it down by merging short sections.[?]
 * Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
 * Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “ All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
 * Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]

Comments of Twenty Years

 * First off, fix the infobox. May i recommend Template:Aust school private.
 * The principals degrees need not be listed in the infobox, this is about the school, not the principals life achievements. Remove all "qualifications" (except Dr. etc) from the chairman and chaplain sections aswell.
 * References should not be used in the lead, unless there are extra-ordinary claims made. As such - 7&8 can go.
 * The lead need not contain the information about the principal. Concise - remember.
 * (from History - para 1) 7th of January, 1888 should be wikilinked and changed to January 7, 1888.
 * The quote of the student is possibly a bit too far, and takes up WAY too much room
 * The school prayer could be a copyvio?
 * College Motto section should be deleted, or at best - merged with another section.
 * College Crest is prob a bit too far, who really cares about the crest, if its so important, chuck it into the history of the article
 * School hymn is prob a copy vio and also unencyclopedic.
 * College tartan should be merged with uniform.
 * School badge should be merged with uniform
 * Too much info in the House System. See Aquinas College, Perth it deals with that section well.
 * Facilities....BORING. Does an encyclopedia really care about the Transition House at PLC Sydney? NO! So delete it.
 * The list of sports/bands/ensembles is completely useless, and no-one cares about it. Scotch College, Perth handles it well.
 * Im bored of this, and this will remain incomplete. Someone read WP:AQC and re-do the article. I am onto it.
 * It has been a pleasure. Twenty Years 12:18, 31 July 2007 (UTC)