Wikipedia:Peer review/Progeroid syndromes/archive1

Progeroid syndromes
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because…this article had one major contributor (me) I have never written an article as big as this before, and so am bound to make many mistakes; so comments and constructive criticisms are welcomed. User:Iztwoz have already helped me with copyediting. I also want to try to get it to good article status. Specifically, please tell me how I can make the article more friendly towards readers not knowledgable in biology or the sciences. I have tried to explain things whenever possible and provided links, but any more suggestions are again welcomed.

Many thanks,  Kinkreet ~&#9829;moshi moshi&#9829;~ 02:57, 21 March 2013 (UTC)

Comments from Casliber
Interesting topic


 * First off, try to meld the prose into paragraphs rather than alot of single sentences.


 * Hopefully there is some literature discussing them as a group. The article needs a section on incidence somewhere near the top.


 * Thank you for your comments, and I will work on it some more in a week's time.  Kinkreet ~&#9829;moshi moshi&#9829;~ 10:57, 22 March 2013 (UTC)

Comments from Sasata

 * I think there's some major problems with the sourcing for this article. Please review the recommendations for sourcing medical articles at WP:MEDRS, in particular the part about using secondary sources (e.g. review articles), and about using up-to-date evidence (WP:MEDDATE). If I were reviewing for GAN/FAC, I'd wonder why the following recent (all from 2008–2013) review articles weren't used as sources:, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . It would probably be a good idea to go through all the citations and try to replace any citations to primary studies, and studies more than a few years old; the article will likely have a rough time at GAN otherwise. Sasata (talk) 07:08, 22 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much for your suggestion. I have largely based the parts I wrote on the most cited sources. I am not very familiar with sourcing in the Medicine Wikiproject, but will have a look. Thank you for your suggestions and I will incorporate them soon. (I may not have access to a computer for a week, so please don't think I am ignoring your comments, I will act on them as soon as I can)  Kinkreet ~&#9829;moshi moshi&#9829;~ 10:54, 22 March 2013 (UTC)