Wikipedia:Peer review/Rihanna videography/archive1

Rihanna videography
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because… when I removed the direct from Rihanna discography I worked hard on it. By hard I mean, I wrote the tables and the lead and properly sourced them. Now I am listing it for peer review, because in near future I want to nominate it for FLC. As a result of that I want to hear some comments that can help to improve it.

Thanks, — Tomica   (talk)  17:14, 31 March 2012 (UTC)


 * Comments from What a pro.


 * was disco and dance inspired[2] as its lyrical theme Uh, what?
 * I don't understand your point here. What I wanted to say is the themes of both the song and the video are dance and disco themed. — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Oh, then change "as" to "like". Alternatively, put "as" after "was".
 * — Tomica   (talk)  08:44, 3 April 2012 (UTC)


 * in a dangerous love triangle struggled between her lover and husband. Remove "struggled", and replace "between" with "with".
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * In 2006, Rihanna also starred No need for the "also".
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * For the new album, Rihanna presented completely new image and style.[8] Perhaps "For the album, Rihanna completely changed her image and style."
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * scenes of Rihanna naked; only covered in silver paint.' I don't think a semicolon is correct here.
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Seven more singles were released from the album The Good Girl Gone Bad article says there are only seven singles, so remove the "more".
 * "If I Never See Your Face Again" was also single from GGGB, but I don't know why constantly someone is removing from the infobox there. — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * ; all directed by Mandler. --> "; all of them were directed by Mandler."
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Rihanna flew to Europe, to shot --> "to shoot"
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * ideo for "Run This Town"— a collaboration Remove the space after the em-dash.
 * I did it right ? — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Yeah.


 * Jesse Williams made cameo appearance --> "made a cameo"
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * In all of them are featured various dance sequences.[32] ––> "All of them feature various dance sequences."
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * shows Rihanna naked - only covered in silver paint. Replace the hyphen with an em-dash.
 * I hope I did it right. — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Yup.


 * photography-based, late-1970s/ early-1980s situation.––> "late-1970s or early-1980s situation."
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Is there really nothing on the "Live Your Life" video?
 * No, there is. I will add. — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * post-apocalyptic inspired video, shot in No need for the comma.
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * makes cameo appearance. ––> "makes a cameo appearance."
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * while wearing a stylized military costumes. ––> "while wearing stylized military costumes."
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * makes references to some artist  ––> "to some artists"
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Laetitia Casta makes cameo appearance ––> "makes a cameo appearance"
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * ''Other notable scene' ––> "Other notable scenes"
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * David Guetta makes cameo appearance. ––> "David Guetta makes a cameo appearance."
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * designed 18 feet long bed ––> "designed an 18 foot long bed" Also, consider putting a metric unit for that.
 * Could you help me with the metric unit. — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Put this: 18 ft.
 * — Tomica   (talk)  08:44, 3 April 2012 (UTC)


 * The video is footage of Rihanna's lifetime that she had during her 2011 Loud Tour. Remove "'s lifetime that she had".
 * I don't understand what should I do :S — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Just make it "The video is footage of Rihanna during her 2011 Loud Tour.''
 * Re-worded. — Tomica   (talk)  08:44, 3 April 2012 (UTC)


 * It contains reference to the 1971 film A Clockwork Orange.[82] ––> "It contains a references to the 1971 film ''A Clockwork Orange."
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Merge the two cells that say "Akiva Schaffer".
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Also merge the two cells that say "The Lonely Island" in the same table.
 * — Tomica   (talk)  08:44, 3 April 2012 (UTC)


 * The skit was also shot for Saturday Night Live. Unlink Saturday Night Live.
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Add a note in the "Commercials" table saying what "—" stands for.
 * I think this is better. What do you think?— Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)

What a pro (talk, contribs) is on fire.  15:27, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Sure.


 * Rihanna's track, "Skin" Dablink!
 * — Tomica   (talk)  16:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Thanks for your comments. I really appreciate this help. — Tomica   (talk)  17:34, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
 * You're welcome! Oh, and I changed your ✅ templates to templates because uh, that's what it says in the "How to respond to a request" section above. What a pro (talk, contribs) is  on fire.  02:14, 3 April 2012 (UTC)