Wikipedia:Peer review/Rita Bennett/archive1

Rita Bennett
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because the article is now complete and needs reviews/opinions on the overall article. I want to see it promoted to GA status. If any part of the article needs work, reviews are welcome.

Thanks, HorrorFan121 (talk) 02:05, 31 January 2011 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is a good start but has problems that will need to be addressed before the article could be considered ready for WP:GAN. My three main concerns have to do with basic information that's missing from the plot summary, possible original research in the "Literature" section, and the fair-use claim for the lead image. I also have concerns about prose and Manual of Style issues. Here are my suggestions:


 * Although book, film, and series titles (like Dexter) take italics, the individual episode titles should appear in quotation marks rather than italics. For example, "The Getaway" in the lead should be changed to "The Getaway". Ditto for all other names of individual episodes throughout the article.


 * I changed all the episode titles in the prose.

Lead


 * "Dexter proposes to her in 'All in the Family', which she accepts" - "and" instead of "which"?
 * Changed to and


 * "Benz described the death scene as "very poetic". E! writer Kristin Dos Santos called the ending "horrifying", and said of Rita, "This death just might go down as one of the most shocking deaths ever on television." - Direct quotations, even in the lead and even if sourced in the main text, need in-line citations.


 * Citations added to match the quotes

Television
 * "so Dexter drives his body back to Paul's hotel and frames him for drug abuse" - Link "frame" to frame-up?
 * I linked frame to frameup


 * Someone who has never seen any episodes of the show will not be able to follow parts of the plot summary because it includes mention of characters who are not explained in any way. (See the following four comments for specifics.) You can probably fix these by adding a brief description, something like "X, Y's mistress" or "A, B's brother", or "Z, whom Q met in a bar".
 * Reviewed the prose and added character tidbits to give the reader a better understanding.


 * "while still trying to evade Doakes' constant surveillance" - Who is Doakes?
 * Added "while still trying to evade his suspicious superior Sgt. Doakes' constant surveillance"


 * "but she is still hesitant to forgive him, as Lila retaliates by pursuing Angel" - Who is Angel?
 * as Lila retaliates by pursuing Dexter's co-worker and friend, Angel Batista.


 * "Dexter is forced to lie about running away with Lila in front of Debra" - Who is Debra?
 * This was covered earlier, but I mentioned sister in the sentence.


 * "Debra decides to skip her flight to Oregon with Lundy" - Who is Lundy?
 * Added "Debra decides to skip her flight to Oregon with her boyfriend, Frank Lundy to help with finding the children.


 * WP:MOSQUOTE deprecates fancy quotes like those used in the quote box in this subsection. To delete them, you can just remove them from the template. Ditto for the quote box in the "Death" section.

Literature
 * The only cited source for this section supports few of the claims even though the placement of the in-line citations might suggest otherwise. This makes it appear that much of the section represents original research (WP:NOR) and that it therefore does not meet WP:V.
 * Sources added to comply with Wiki's verifiability policy


 * "So far there are a total of five books... " - Rather than using a vague term like "so far", it's better to be specific by saying something like "As of 2011, there are a total of five books... ".
 * Worded to "As of 2011, there are a total of five books... ".

Conception and casting


 * "Benz had been a "disgustingly huge"[38] fan of Michael C. Hall from his role in Six Feet Under and she said in an interview with Vanity Fair that "I was such a fan of his from Six Feet Under, to the point where my cell-phone ring was the show’s theme song. I had to change it once I got cast!". - Trim to eliminate repetition?


 * Trimmed

Critical reception
 * "opinionating that “There were a couple of forced moments in "Popping Cherry", most notably the drug dealer who came to Rita's house, in broad daylight, demanding money for her ex-husband's debts; it was all a bit over the top and cliché. On the other hand, it was interesting to note Dexter's inaction in that scene, making one wonder if perhaps he fears that any public display of physical defense, even for Rita, might result in him going too far and revealing what he is." - This quote is long enough to look better as a blockquote, explained at WP:MOSQUOTE. Also, "opinionating" is not a real word. Using the more straightforward, "saying" or "adding" (in this case), would be fine.
 * Done


 * "Jarett Wieselman of the New York Post has said "Rita always felt like the light in that dark show", she states that "In the beginning Rita was the vessel through which the audience could love Dexter." - Not a complete sentence. Do you need a terminal period after "show"? Is Jarrett a "she"?
 * Fixed.


 * "Claire Zulkey said that the twist ending was intense, and the teleplay was woven with feature several moments that had led him to suspect different conclusions." - "Expect" rather than "suspect"?
 * Changed

References
 * The date formatting in the citations should be consistent.

Images
 * These are both nice images. However, I don't think the fair-use rationale for the lead image is justified because the second image is free and serves the same purpose. I would suggest deleting the fair-use image and replacing it with the free one. Please see WP:NFCC, especially part 1, which begins: "Non-free content is used only where no free equivalent is available, or could be created, that would serve the same encyclopedic purpose."


 * This is the only part I disagree on.


 * Hello, thanks for reviewing the article, I should just mention however, that a picture of Julie Benz and a picture of Julie Benz in character does not count as the same image type. Meaning that the picture of Julie is not interchangeable with the print-screen and therefore there is no salvageable free equivalent. That Ole' Cheesy Dude (Talk to the hand!) 21:12, 8 February 2011 (UTC)

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider commenting on any other article at WP:PR. I don't usually watch the PR archives or make follow-up comments. If my suggestions are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 18:45, 8 February 2011 (UTC)