Wikipedia:Peer review/Robert Abbott (game designer)/archive2

Robert Abbott (game designer)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I'm hoping to get this article to FA sometime soon, and a result, I am wanting feedback to see how close it is, what needs to be done with it, etc.
 * Previous peer review

Thanks,  Hi 8 7 8   (Come shout at me!) 16:27, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
 * I think two main concerns make this article's journey to FA to be a long one still. First, the way this is written, this is not a biography about Abbott.  It comes across more as his list of games.  A biography should tell the reader who is the man at heart, what does he like or dislike, how does he think.  How is his social circle?  How is he regarded by his peers, his enemies, and by the populace at large.  The second main concern is the overabundance of primary sources (Abbott himself) and the near absence of secondary sources (WP:PSTS).  An article almost totally based on primary sources is not even likely to have a smooth sail at FAC.  That said, there are other concerns.  "According to Abbott, 'being much too bright, I never graduated.'" is a sentence that violates WP:NPOV; he did not graduate, that is that.  One should not let the subject make himself look good without secondary backing; any praise should come from secondary sources.  Furthermore, where is the evidence that File:Traffic Maze.png was published without copyright notice?  The original text says it comes from Scientific American and the US Copyright Office shows records of renewals for this magazine.  The image page does not state which page of which issue the image appeared in, nor does it consider that copyright notices/credits might have been recorded/listed at the beginning of the periodical.  Jappalang (talk) 11:23, 31 October 2011 (UTC)


 * With regards to the image, looked that up; I've asked him to comment here about it. With the rest, I've been working on having more about his life, and less about his games; I agree with you that it is still off-balance. However, there isn't much out there about him not in relation to his games; there are a number of things that I know, but cannot do anything with, because no reliable sources state them. Do you have any suggestions on how I could deal with that? And the POV sentence... Yeah. Don't know why I put that in. Thank you for pointing it out. :) I would like to say that I think he meant it as humor, as opposed to trying to make himself sound better, but I do see your point. I have removed it.   Hi 8 7 8   (Come shout at me!) 22:42, 31 October 2011 (UTC)


 * I am afraid I do not know the answer on how to rectify the imbalance here. It is quite likely that there are certain articles that might never attain Featured Article status because the lack of information from reliable sources meant less than the desired comprehensiveness.  Jappalang (talk) 07:07, 1 November 2011 (UTC)
 * I looked up the Scientific American copyright renewals and I could not find any records during the expected period of time. Perhaps I was looking in the wrong place. Where did you verify that its copyright was renewed? / ƒETCH COMMS  /  13:14, 1 November 2011 (UTC)
 * If you search http://www.copyright.gov/records/ for "Scientific American" and "1962", all 12 issues (1962) of volumes 206 and 207 (6 each) have been renewed under RE0000462848 to RE0000462858. Scientific American. Vol. 207, no. 4, Oct. 1962. is specifically RE0000462856.  Jappalang (talk) 14:34, 1 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Ohhhh, I was searching for pre-1978 records. That explains why I never found anything. Yeah, that file needs to be taken off Commons and uploaded locally, then. Thanks for noticing that, Jappalang&mdash;I learned something new today! / ƒETCH COMMS  /  00:34, 2 November 2011 (UTC)


 * First of all, Jappalang, I hope that somebody writes a biography of him soon, then. :) Second, would it be possible for one of you to deal with the transferring the image to here? I hate to ask that, but I would really have no idea what I was doing. Thanks in advance. Also, Jappalang, are there any specific problems with parts of the article other than what you have said, or is it all fine?  Hi 8 7 8   (Come shout at me!) 04:08, 2 November 2011 (UTC)
 * I am afraid the image cannot be transferred to here as well. If you want to use it here, it has to be used as a non-free image, which means satisfying all ten criteria of WP:NFCC.  That said, in the absence of biographical data, this article at the current moment might be better set up as "Games by Robert Abott".  Jappalang (talk) 09:39, 2 November 2011 (UTC)
 * I suppose I'll remove the image, then; luckily, it won't really hurt the article any. With regards to a name change, I would rather not do that; I intend to add biographical information to it, as soon as more appears, so I would rather just keep the article here. Anyhoo, thank you for looking at this!  Hi 8 7 8   (Come shout at me!) 23:08, 2 November 2011 (UTC)