Wikipedia:Peer review/Robert Stanley Weir/archive1

Robert Stanley Weir
Good day. I have researched extensively and written this new article on the lyricist for O Canada. I would like some feedback on ways to improve it to featured article status and then, use that same feedback in creating Alexander Muir and expanding Calixa Lavallée and Adolphe-Basile Routhier. Cheers, Double Blue  (Talk) 2 July 2005 07:57 (UTC) Okay, I have made some changes. The intro has been expanded to two paragraphs in length and I have merged some short paragraphs. I also split out an Education section from the Early life section. I kind of like having it neatly divided like that but it makes for single paragraph sections. Do you think it would be better to merge Education and Marriage into Early life? I appreciate any feedback and feel free to try edits you feel helpful. Double Blue (Talk) 05:02, 6 July 2005 (UTC)
 * Looks good, but to get it FA status you will need a longer lead, probably two paragraphs. Also there are far too many one sentence paragraphs that should either be merged together or expanded. - SimonP July 2, 2005 15:35 (UTC)
 * Thank you Simon. That is good advice. I'm surprised that I had never seen that Lead section guideline before. I had been going by Wikipedia:Biography standards which seems to indicate a very brief definition-type lead. Making the lead a stand-alone synopsis seems like a better idea. I'd also sensed some of the paragraphs were lean but I did not want to veer too far off into context and off the topic of Weir. Perhaps I ought to re-work the section divisions. I'd used Biography for a template but perhaps it is too artificial and contrived to begin with those divisions. I'll give a go at re-writing and letting the divisions come more naturally in a few days and I'll let you know how it goes. I welcome anyone's input and edits as well. Double Blue  (Talk) 3 July 2005 03:51 (UTC)